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An old lighthouse keeper was nearing retirement and decided to hire a younger man to take over for him when the time came.

Posted on July 4, 2025 by Joke Poo

He invited the young man for a tour of the structure, a tall building sitting on an isolated island miles away from shore. The voyage to the lighthouse was a rough one with high waves and heavy rain making the voyage difficult. Eventually, the young man safely made it to the island and the two men commenced the tour, going around the island and its sights.

They made their way to the lighthouse afterward as the old man demonstrated the inner workings of the structure before climbing up to the large lantern itself.

“…and that is the gist of it,” the keeper said, having finished the tour. “Any questions?”

“I do have one,” the young man replied. “Are the waters here usually this choppy? I’m just concerned about supplies and keeping food and bulbs stocked.”

“Ah yes, you would be right to be concerned,” the keeper replied. “These are not friendly waters and you may have to wait days, if not weeks, for any vessels to reach the island. Of course, there is a trick to getting more supplies.”

“And that is?” the young man asked.

“Just turn off the lantern.”

Joke Poo: The IT Help Desk

A seasoned IT help desk technician was getting ready to retire and decided to mentor a new recruit to take over his role. He invited the young newbie to shadow him for a week, showing him the ropes of their notoriously understaffed and overwhelmed department.

They spent the week dealing with a deluge of password resets, printer malfunctions, and inexplicable error messages. The veteran technician patiently explained their convoluted ticketing system, the arcane rituals for appeasing the server gods, and the location of the secret stash of emergency caffeine.

Finally, at the end of the week, the technician finished explaining their processes. “…and that is the gist of it,” the technician said, having finished the training. “Any questions?”

“I do have one,” the newbie replied. “Are the users usually this… inept? I’m concerned about handling so many obviously avoidable issues.”

“Ah yes, you would be right to be concerned,” the technician replied. “These are not a technically savvy bunch, and you’ll be bombarded with ridiculous requests constantly. Of course, there is a trick to significantly reduce the ticket volume.”

“And that is?” the newbie asked eagerly.

“Just fix the root cause of the problems.”

Alright, let’s break down this lighthouse joke.

Key Elements:

  • Juxtaposition: The core humor lies in the stark contrast between the young man’s reasonable concern about supplies and the old keeper’s absurd, yet effective, solution.
  • Irony: The lighthouse, meant to ensure safe passage, is proposed to be switched off to ensure supplies for safe passage.
  • Misdirection: The setup leads the audience to anticipate a practical solution, perhaps involving weather prediction or advanced ordering systems.
  • Dry Delivery: The keeper’s matter-of-fact tone enhances the humor. He presents an outrageous suggestion as if it’s a standard operating procedure.

Factual/Interesting Tidbits for Comedic Enrichment:

  • Lighthouses and Supply Chains: Historically, keeping lighthouses stocked was a massive undertaking. It often involved specialized ships, precarious landings, and meticulous planning. Imagine the frustration of a keeper facing dwindling supplies, knowing a simple flick of a switch could guarantee a delivery, albeit at the cost of maritime safety.
  • Lighthouse Keeper Personalities: Legendary lighthouse keepers were often eccentric, solitary figures. They lived isolated lives, making them prone to unconventional problem-solving. The keeper’s response fits this archetype perfectly.
  • Modern Lighthouse Automation: Today, many lighthouses are automated. This eliminates the human element (and the potential for darkly humorous cost-benefit analyses).

New Humorous Piece:

Joke:

Why did the lighthouse keeper start an online delivery service?

Because he got tired of explaining his “turn off the light” method to the supply ships. He figured, if he delivered the goods to them first, nobody would have to know about his little… shortcut to getting more supplies. His slogan? “We come to you, even if you can’t see us.” The Coast Guard wasn’t amused.

Explanation of the connection:

This joke takes the original’s core conflict and modernizes it. The old keeper’s ‘turn off the light’ solution is so absurd, it pushes him to create his own supply chain. It also adds a layer of satire by imagining a modern delivery service utilizing ethically questionable methods, all rooted in the inherent contradiction of the original joke. The punchline highlights the absurdity of the situation by referencing the Coast Guard’s disapproval.

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