I read the recent "excruciating feghoot" joke and had to look up "feghoot". Right up my alley. 🙂 I searched for this joke (to avoid typing it in) and I only found it from 11 years ago, and it's quite dated, but here's my version.
Sam needs a job and sees that the local school district needs school bus drivers. He gets hired and they give him his hat and his keys and show him to his bus. The bus has Bert and Ernie, Grover, Big Bird, etc. painted all over it. He says "Are you kidding me?". His boss replies, "You'll be driving kindergarten kids, and this is their bus."
So, he sets out on the route and at his first stop, two *really* overweight girls get on. One says "Hi, my name's Patty", and the other one says "My name is Patty too."
"Well, hello", Sam says, "Please have a seat. Maybe sit on opposite sides so we don't roll this thing", and the girls start eating Twinkies from their huge lunchboxes.
At the next stop there is a differently-abled boy in a wheelchair. Sam helps him get on the bus, and the boy struggles to get out "My name is Ross".
At the last step there is a boy with a mean expression on his face. Sam says hello, and the boot rudely says "I am Lester Reese!". Lester takes a seat, takes his shoes off, and starts scratching at his feet and peeling scaly skin off. Sam looks in the mirror and sees this and is disgusted.
So they carry on, but it's chaos. The Patties are getting crumbs all over and throwing the Twinkie wrappers out the window, Lester is flicking foot skin everywhere, Special Ross is making strange noises…
Sam drops them off at school and drives back to the school bus depot and says, "I quit."
"Sam!", his boss says, "Your first day on the job! Kindergarten kids! What could possibly go wrong?"
Sam says, "Sure, my first day on the job and what do I get? Two obese Patties, Special Ross, Lester Reese picking bunions on a Sesame Street Bus!"
Joke Poo: The Intergalactic Sanitation Engineer
A sanitation engineer, Zorp, needed a new gig and saw that the Intergalactic Confederation was hiring. He gets the job, they hand him his sonic plunger and gravity boots, and show him to his sanitation vessel. The vessel has illustrations of Zorgon the Great, Princess Leia, and a whole host of other galactic heroes plastered all over it. He mutters, “Seriously?”. His supervisor replies, “You’ll be cleaning up after alien preschool programs. Think of it as a mobile playground for advanced toddler species, and this is their designated clean-up vessel.”
So, Zorp sets out on his route and at his first stop, two gelatinous blob creatures ooze into the vessel. One jiggles and exclaims, “I am Glop-Glop!”, and the other wibbles and chirps, “I am Glop-Glop, too!”.
“Well, hello Glop-Glops,” Zorp sighs, “Please, assume a containment sphere. Maybe on opposite sides to distribute the gravitational stress,” and the blobs start consuming radioactive slime from their personal bio-domes.
At the next stop there is a multi-eyed space slug who is missing several tentacles. Zorp helps him slither into the vessel, and the slug gurgles in broken Galactic Basic, “My name… is Slorp.”
At the last stop there is a tiny, angry Greble who glares daggers. Zorp tries to be cheerful, and the Greble snaps, “I am Zorbon Freese!”. Zorbon crawls to a corner, produces a miniature anti-matter destabilizer, and starts dismantling it, piece by tiny piece. Zorp sees all this in the monitor and his stress levels spike.
So they continue on, but it’s total pandemonium. The Glop-Glops are spewing slime everywhere and ejecting their partially digested radioactive leftovers, Zorbon Freese is scattering anti-matter components, and Poor Slorp is oozing slime trails.
Zorp drops them off at the Intergalactic Academy and speeds back to the sanitation depot and barks, “I’m done.”
“Zorp!”, his supervisor exclaims, “Your first day! Alien preschool! What went wrong?”
Zorp shouts, “First day, huh? What do I get? Two gelatinous Glop-Glops, tentacle-challenged Slorp, and Zorbon Freese rebuilding a doomsday device in a vessel plastered with galactic Sesame Street characters! I quit before someone turns this bus into a singularity!”
Alright, let’s dissect this “excruciating feghoot” and try to inject some fun into it.
Joke Breakdown:
- Premise: A new school bus driver, Sam, is overwhelmed by the chaotic behavior of the kindergarteners on his route.
- Setup: The setup introduces the characters (the obese “Patty” twins, the differently-abled Ross, and the disgusting Lester Reese) and their disruptive behaviors. The Sesame Street bus detail adds to the ironic contrast.
- Punchline (Feghoot Style): The punchline is a pun based on the names of the children, creating a phrase: “Two obese Patties, Special Ross, Lester Reese picking bunions on a Sesame Street Bus!”. The humor derives from the unexpected combination of the mundane reality of the situation with the wordplay on the names.
Key Elements:
- Pun/Wordplay: Central to the feghoot format.
- Stereotypes/Caricatures: The children are exaggerated for comedic effect (obesity, disability, poor hygiene). Note: This is where the joke gets its “excruciating” label – the humor relies on potentially offensive stereotypes.
- Irony/Juxtaposition: The innocence expected of kindergarteners contrasted with their actual behavior, and the Sesame Street theme clashing with the reality.
- Relatability (Slightly): Many people have experienced frustrating bus rides or dealing with difficult children (though hopefully not this extreme).
Comedic Enrichment/New Humor:
Let’s focus on the Sesame Street element to create something new, trying to avoid the reliance on potentially offensive caricatures:
Did You Know?
- Sesame Street has been around since 1969.
- The producers of Sesame Street chose a PBS channel for its first broadcast, as this gave them freedom to produce the show that they wanted to create.
- One of the main goals of Sesame Street was to help prepare underprivileged children for school.
- Sesame Street is the only children’s show to have received a Kennedy Center Honor.
New Joke/Observation:
Joke Structure: A pun based on a Sesame Street Character.
Example:
Why did the school district decide to replace all their bus drivers with Elmo?
Because they wanted to promote “Elmo-bility” for all the kids!
Joke Analysis:
- Premise: The punchline involves the name of a Sesame Street character and a play on words.
- Setup: The setup is straightforward, implying that the bus drivers are going to be replaced by the character.
- Punchline: The punchline involves the word “Elmo-bility” is intended as a synonym for mobility.
Why This Works (Hopefully, Better):
- It connects to the original joke’s Sesame Street element.
- The humor is lighter and less reliant on potentially offensive stereotypes.
- It uses a real element of Sesame Street (Elmo) and aims for a silly, pun-based laugh.
Ultimately, humor is subjective, and what one person finds funny, another might not. The goal here was to take the elements of the original joke and re-work them into something that, while still a pun, is less likely to cause offense.