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Author: Joke Poo

She calls me apple

Posted on June 4, 2025 by Joke Poo

the way I be in cider. Okay, here’s my "Joke Poo" version based on your original: Joke Poo: He Calls Me Potpourri He calls me potpourri the way I be, all dried…

My Dad says he changes his Facebook password from time to time

Posted on June 4, 2025 by Joke Poo

I don't think he realises that they are the same words Okay, here’s my "Joke Poo" version of that joke, titled "Database Disaster": Title: Database Disaster My boss says she rotates the…

From my 12 year old: To the guy who invented ‘zero’…

Posted on June 4, 2025 by Joke Poo

Thanks for nothing. Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo" based on the original, with the title "Toilet Paper Thoughts": Title: Toilet Paper Thoughts To the person who invented those tiny…

Pirate joke I thought of in the shower

Posted on June 4, 2025 by Joke Poo

"Why couldn't the Captain set sail with his lass on their Maiden voyage?" *He didn't have enough seamen* Joke Poo: The Astronaut’s Launch "Why couldn’t the astronaut launch his new rocket on…

The pope is on an airplane working on a crossword puzzle.

Posted on June 4, 2025 by Joke Poo

He asks his neighbor: “What’s a 4 letter word for a woman that ends in UNT?” “Well,” says the neighbor, “that would have to be AUNT.” The pope then asks: “Do you…

Did you know that sperm cells of a whale are amongst the largest of all animals?

Posted on June 4, 2025 by Joke Poo

Did you know that the sperm cells of a whale are amongst the largest of all animals? It's true. Each individual cell is about the size of a minnow and can swim…

I used to date a woman who was a baroque music specialist. (true story)

Posted on June 4, 2025 by Joke Poo

She was a terrific singer, and also played the drum, lute, and traverso (a kind of baroque flute). Often she would be called for sessions where she had to sing and record…

What do you call a chicken orchestra?

Posted on June 4, 2025 by Joke Poo

A hensemble. Okay, here’s my "Joke Poo," riffing on the chicken orchestra joke: Joke Poo: What do you call a group of synchronized toilet plungers? A flush mob. Alright, let’s analyze this…

What do pirates do when they get addicted to seaweed?

Posted on June 4, 2025 by Joke Poo

sea kelp Okay, here’s a "Joke Poo" based on your original: Joke Poo: What do plumbers do when they get addicted to drain cleaner? They go down the tubes! Alright, let’s dive…

Keyboard walks into a bar…

Posted on June 4, 2025 by Joke Poo

Bartender says: why the long space? Okay, here’s my "Joke Poo" version of that joke, titled "Joke Poo": Joke Poo: Toilet Walks Into a Bar… Bartender says: "Hey, we don’t serve your…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • Tom Petty was a tri-athlete. A reporter once asked him the most difficult part
  • My wife went deer hunting for the first time.
  • My girlfriend told me to take the spider out instead of killing him.
  • Schooling experience
  • I’m Old, Last Night…
  • What’s the connection between Titanic and The Sixth Sense?
  • An exhausted nurse goes back to her station…
  • A man walks into a library and asks for books on paranoia
  • My wife asked if I would pick up 5 gallons of paint at the hardware store
  • Why did the crazy Mexican guy kill the train conductor?
  • A man walks into a bait and tackle shop
  • A politician is having a rally in a small town
  • What do you call a group of preteen girls playing musical instruments?
  • The waiter dropped my steak.
  • Jesus drove a Honda, but didn’t talk about it.
  • Local Idiot 1: “Does it hurt to get a tattoo?”
  • Yoda once said “Do, or do not. There is no try”
  • I put my cat on a vegan diet.
  • A man and his wife were sitting in their living room one evening.
  • A man tells his doctor “Doctor, my girlfriend is pregnant, but we always use protection and the rubber never broke. How can she be pregnant?”
  • My patient asked, “Doctor, will i be alright?”
  • One day the teacher told her class to think of something exiting that happened recently.
  • In a small town there was a couple, known for being unafraid to express their love in a simple action.
  • These tropical birds stole my beer…
  • The Sentence
  • Good news/bad news
  • Bad luck Dave
  • I’m a stay at home dad and I started a daycare.
  • Prayer
  • A new cave has been opened in hell
  • The CIA advertises for an assassin and three applicants, Tom, Dick and Harry, are chosen for a final test
  • What did the pickle say to the cucumber?
  • A young class were enjoying the first day of first grade.
  • At the hospital…
  • A woman is sitting at home, on the patio with her husband, drinking a glass of wine and she says, “I love you.”
  • The perch problem
  • In Russia, two guys are queuing to buy potatoes
  • There’s an old joke about the difference between American and Russian corruption.
  • Doctor’s advice for premature ejaculation didn’t go as planned
  • A man wakes up hungover in an alley with his pants off, and notices two colored rings painted on this dick, one brown, one red
  • Scientists took out the left half of a man’s brain
  • A widower goes to a psychic to contact his late wife. “Honey,” he says. “Are you happy?”
  • New Zealand would be so safe in case of a world war
  • A guy walks into a pharmacy and asks, “Do you have any antiseptics here?”
  • I spent a whole year making a belt out of clocks for a fat guy.
  • Why did the chicken cross the road?
  • Knock knock
  • Charley Pride was a legendary musician
  • Women are confusing. On my wife’s birthday, I wish her a Happy Birthday and she smiles happily at me
  • I’m AM going to put glue on my hands and then handle firearms. Nobody can tell me otherwise.

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