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Author: Joke Poo

A man rents a room.

Posted on June 3, 2025 by Joke Poo

He pays extra on the condition the landlady prepare his work lunch every day. So on the first day, she packs him a sandwich on normal white bread, using the last night's…

I Asked My Dad His Opinion on Abortion

Posted on June 3, 2025 by Joke Poo

"Why don't you ask your sister" he replied. "But I don't have a sis…" Joke Poo: I Asked My Dog His Opinion on Leaving the Vet "Why don’t you ask the cat?"…

Our new neighbor Brian, kisses his wife Goodbye, everytime he leaves for work. My wife is pissed because i never do that.

Posted on June 3, 2025 by Joke Poo

So I kissed Brian's wife and my wife filed for a divorce out of nowhere. Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo" based on your provided joke, aiming for a similar…

My teacher told me that I’d be no good at poetry due to my dyslexia…

Posted on June 3, 2025 by Joke Poo

but so far I’ve made 3 jugs and a vase. So Fuck you Mr. Peterson. Joke Poo: My therapist told me I’d never be a good comedian because of my crippling anxiety……

Why are proctologists such good lie detectors?

Posted on June 3, 2025 by Joke Poo

Because they know if you are full of shit Joke Poo: Why are plumbers terrible gamblers? Because they always know when the pot is full of crap, but never trust their gut….

I have a polish friend who works as an MC

Posted on June 3, 2025 by Joke Poo

I have a Czech one too. Okay, here’s my "Joke Poo" version, based on your original. Joke Poo: I got a German who is a professional gardener I got a German who…

U2 was playing a show in Glasgow…

Posted on June 3, 2025 by Joke Poo

…at the end of Beautiful Day, Bono shushes the crowd and starts snapping his fingers into the microphone, "snap….snap…..snap…." The crowd quiets, "….snap…..snap…" Bono speaks into the mic, keeping the snapping of…

Pun enters a room, kills 10 people

Posted on June 3, 2025 by Joke Poo

Pun in, 10 dead Okay, here’s my attempt, riffing on the "Pun enters a room…" joke: Joke Poo: Dad Joke’s Day Off Dad Joke enters a room, kills all conversation. Alright, let’s…

When Anakin’s mom died he became…

Posted on June 3, 2025 by Joke Poo

Little Orphan Ani. Okay, here’s my attempt: Joke Poo: When Vader’s digestive system gave out, he became… …Constipated Darkness. Okay, let’s break down that joke and then try to build upon it….

I’m learning electric guitar but I can only practice Sunday mornings…

Posted on June 3, 2025 by Joke Poo

…I’m getting a lot of feedback. Okay, here’s my "Joke Poo" version: Joke Poo: Compost Blues I’m trying to start a worm composting bin, but I can only add kitchen scraps on…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • Shaggy God story
  • My neighbors banged on my door at 3:30 am last night.
  • A guy goes into a bar where he meets a pair of beautiful conjoined twins who are joined at the side. They hit it off and proceed to booze the night away.
  • Tom Petty was a tri-athlete. A reporter once asked him the most difficult part
  • My wife went deer hunting for the first time.
  • My girlfriend told me to take the spider out instead of killing him.
  • Schooling experience
  • I’m Old, Last Night…
  • What’s the connection between Titanic and The Sixth Sense?
  • An exhausted nurse goes back to her station…
  • A man walks into a library and asks for books on paranoia
  • My wife asked if I would pick up 5 gallons of paint at the hardware store
  • Why did the crazy Mexican guy kill the train conductor?
  • A man walks into a bait and tackle shop
  • A politician is having a rally in a small town
  • What do you call a group of preteen girls playing musical instruments?
  • The waiter dropped my steak.
  • Jesus drove a Honda, but didn’t talk about it.
  • Local Idiot 1: “Does it hurt to get a tattoo?”
  • Yoda once said “Do, or do not. There is no try”
  • I put my cat on a vegan diet.
  • A man and his wife were sitting in their living room one evening.
  • A man tells his doctor “Doctor, my girlfriend is pregnant, but we always use protection and the rubber never broke. How can she be pregnant?”
  • My patient asked, “Doctor, will i be alright?”
  • One day the teacher told her class to think of something exiting that happened recently.
  • In a small town there was a couple, known for being unafraid to express their love in a simple action.
  • These tropical birds stole my beer…
  • The Sentence
  • Good news/bad news
  • Bad luck Dave
  • I’m a stay at home dad and I started a daycare.
  • Prayer
  • A new cave has been opened in hell
  • The CIA advertises for an assassin and three applicants, Tom, Dick and Harry, are chosen for a final test
  • What did the pickle say to the cucumber?
  • A young class were enjoying the first day of first grade.
  • At the hospital…
  • A woman is sitting at home, on the patio with her husband, drinking a glass of wine and she says, “I love you.”
  • The perch problem
  • In Russia, two guys are queuing to buy potatoes
  • There’s an old joke about the difference between American and Russian corruption.
  • Doctor’s advice for premature ejaculation didn’t go as planned
  • A man wakes up hungover in an alley with his pants off, and notices two colored rings painted on this dick, one brown, one red
  • Scientists took out the left half of a man’s brain
  • A widower goes to a psychic to contact his late wife. “Honey,” he says. “Are you happy?”
  • New Zealand would be so safe in case of a world war
  • A guy walks into a pharmacy and asks, “Do you have any antiseptics here?”
  • I spent a whole year making a belt out of clocks for a fat guy.
  • Why did the chicken cross the road?
  • Knock knock

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