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Author: Joke Poo

An Englishman goes to a Chinese tailor

Posted on October 30, 2025 by Joke Poo

He buys a few shirts and takes them home for a quick rinse before using them The next day, he angrily complains to the Chinese tailor “Look here, these shirts have shrunk…

When Beethoven passed away

Posted on October 29, 2025 by Joke Poo

When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later the town drunk was walking through the cemetry and heard some strange noises coming from the area where…

My wife hates that I’m always making urination jokes. She said she feels like her opinion doesn’t matter to me.

Posted on October 29, 2025 by Joke Poo

I told her she's number one. Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo,” titled Compulsive Compost: Compulsive Compost My husband hates that I’m always making jokes about composting. He says he…

(Long) I was in the garage working on my car when my girlfriend walked in with her new puppy.

Posted on October 29, 2025 by Joke Poo

We began making plans for later that day. Unbeknownst to us, her puppy walked over to a small bowl full of gasoline. By the time we realized what was happening, the little…

“Seeds are the best!!” “Oh really? Says who??”

Posted on October 29, 2025 by Joke Poo

“SESAME!” Okay, here’s my “Joke Poo” based on the original: Title: Exam Stress Poo “Studying all night is the best!!” “Oh really? Says who??” “PROCRASTINATORS!!” Alright, let’s dive into the comedic seedbed…

Did you hear about the Rainbow Criminal?

Posted on October 29, 2025 by Joke Poo

He was sentenced to prism but it was a light sentence. It will give him time to reflect. Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” based on your rainbow criminal joke,…

Brain cancer is the easiest disease to cure

Posted on October 29, 2025 by Joke Poo

Just remind yourself that it’s all in your head Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” riffing on the brain cancer joke, while trying to keep a similar structure and twist:…

Who is smarter?

Posted on October 29, 2025 by Joke Poo

Put eight horses in a race and 30,000 people will go to see it. But put eight people in a race and not one horse will bother to go along to watch….

Why didn’t the skeleton go trick-or-treating?

Posted on October 29, 2025 by Joke Poo

No body to go with. Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” based on your skeleton joke: Title: Joke Poo Why didn’t the toilet paper go to the picnic? …It got…

America vs England

Posted on October 29, 2025 by Joke Poo

"Where's your pencil, Bud?" the teacher asked an American boy who had just come to school in Britain. "I ain't got one, Sir." "You're in England now, Bud. Not ain't, haven't. I…

Posts pagination

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • Last year I bought my wife an artificial leg for Christmas…
  • I’m starting a research project into bestiality
  • I’m over 40 years old and I’ve never used essential oils…
  • I don’t know why everyone thinks of mobsters as bad guys.
  • Found out last night that I’m both gay and dyslexic.
  • I once dated a girl who was actually a ghost.
  • Satan arrived to welcome a new damned soul to hell. “Congratulations!” he said. “You wasted your entire pitiful life!”
  • A boy found a magic lamp one day and out came a genie who exclaimed “I shall grant a single wish that you desire!”
  • Why does Dracula always bite his victims in the neck?
  • A duck wandered onto my property
  • Not to brag, but I finished a puzzle under a week and…
  • Old lady at nursing home
  • Overheard an angry man with a lisp say “bithnith”.
  • I heard someone combined a bee with a pineapple.
  • I needed to buy toilet paper at the store and someone told me why are you buying so much toilet paper? I responded
  • I have an entry level job with thousands of people below me
  • Who puts the “P” in R-E-S-P-E-C-T?
  • The rescue team found a clue about a crashed airplane
  • “Why do you think you’d be a good waiter?”
  • I just took a great hiking class
  • Serious question
  • The Scottish definition of a gentleman…
  • I replaced my wife’s lip balm with a glue stick
  • A guy decides to go to confession for the first time in many years. He enters the confessional, and there’s a shelf with cigars, brandy, and chocolate.
  • In WW2 a General had an idea on how to cheer the troops up
  • A man goes in for a checkup and afterwards the doctor comes in and somberly tells him that his kidneys are failing.
  • World used to be better, we could have 1 steak every week, only with minimum wage
  • What works faster than a calculator?
  • A man dies and goes to hell
  • I went to see my doctor, he asked me to provide a stool sample.
  • I just tripped over a box of Kleenex. Ow!
  • Sheryl Crow and Russell Crowe walk into a bar.
  • A man was out on the golf course one sunny day when he realized he was completely lost.
  • In England, when you turn 100, you get a royal letter from the King or Queen.
  • A man dies and ends up in hell.
  • What do you get when you goose a ghost?
  • Cemetery cold night
  • What do you call a roasted doll?
  • A man walks into a pharmacy
  • A couple gets married
  • If Waldo turned into a monster which one would he turn into?
  • How do you know if a ghost has been using your bathroom?
  • Why does everyone know the Muffin Man but not the Muffin Woman?
  • A shy Italian girl gets married
  • a stoner, a jedi and emergency room surgeon walk into a bar
  • I bought a Hustler magazine and boy was I disappointed
  • What’s a debt collector’s favourite herb?
  • What’s the most negative month of the year?
  • A Man Is Invited To A Christmas Fancy Dress Party
  • You can’t trust people on Halloween anymore!

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