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Author: Joke Poo

Everything is bigger in Texas

Posted on September 7, 2025 by Joke Poo

A guy is visiting Texas for the first time. Having just arrived after a long day of travel, he goes to the hotel restaurant for dinner. He orders a steak, and the…

A version of me wanted to eat healthily, drink less and exercise more.

Posted on September 7, 2025 by Joke Poo

But in the end, I decided to be the bigger person. Okay, here’s my “Joke Poo” version, aiming to keep the structure and twist of the original: Joke Poo: The Budget Meeting…

What should be used to keep men away?

Posted on September 7, 2025 by Joke Poo

Detergent Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” based on the detergent joke: Joke Poo: What Should You Use To Keep Flies Away? … Deter-gents! (Like, be gents, or the flies…

What jokes does Steve Carell’s Chinese counterpart tell?

Posted on September 7, 2025 by Joke Poo

"That's what Xi says" Okay, here’s my attempt: Joke Poo: What kinds of spreadsheets does a sentient, rebellious Roomba create? “Pivot tables, I choose you!” Alright, let’s break down this joke. Core…

Police interrogating a suspect.

Posted on September 6, 2025 by Joke Poo

“Did you steal that money?” “No, it wasn’t me.” “And do you have an alibi?” “What’s that?” “Well, did anybody see you at the time the money went missing?” “Thank God, nobody!”…

How many Germans does take to screw in a lightbulb?

Posted on September 6, 2025 by Joke Poo

One – they are efficient and humourless. Okay, here’s my “Joke Poo” version: Joke Poo: How many toddlers does it take to change a diaper? One – But you’ll probably have to…

What are your favorite 2 part jokes?

Posted on September 6, 2025 by Joke Poo

That being a joke where the first joke stands on its own, but is then followed up by a related joke that elevates it to another level. For example: I tried to…

The bathtub test

Posted on September 6, 2025 by Joke Poo

During a visit to my doctors I asked him . . . "How do you determine whether or not an older person should be put in an old age home?" "Well" he…

A florist named Daniel got married to a short graphic designer named Stephanie.

Posted on September 6, 2025 by Joke Poo

She decided to design a new sign for his flower shop, but he thought one of the leaves on the flower in the center was too big. That's one small Steph for…

A guy throws up on himself after getting too drunk….

Posted on September 6, 2025 by Joke Poo

He turns to his friend Jay outside the bar after cleaning himself up "Jay, my wife is going to kill me, I told her I wouldn't get drunk!!" "Hey, I got you,…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • Two old friends run into each other on the street.
  • The burley gates of heaven
  • Did you hear about the price of chimneys these days?!
  • The Captain’s Red Shirt
  • Little Johnny’s neighbor
  • Horse
  • Your momma’s so fat…
  • I saw a dwarf climbing down a rope from a prison rooftop.
  • A Jewish woman came to her rabi, visibly upset.
  • Teacher asks Billy a math question
  • I find people can be so judgemental these days….
  • The butcher shop
  • September is Alzheimer’s awareness month
  • I saw a bison in the gym doing a workout the other day….
  • A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt.
  • Mexican Mayonnaise
  • I hate charging my electric car.
  • One day I called home and my kid answered. I asked where’s mom?
  • An old man comes to confession and says to the priest:
  • A Knock Knock Joke
  • What’s common between a testicular joke and testicular cancer?
  • A guy walks in a store looking to buy some beer
  • One afternoon, a teenage couple was on a hike in the woods.
  • Wish me luck, everyone! I have to meet with some people working at my bank in a few minutes. If all goes well I’ll pay off every debt I have, and still have enough to retire early.
  • A penguin was driving through a small town when his car broke down…
  • Not all construction tasks are equally enjoyable.
  • In a carpenter’s workshop, one apprentice makes a bet that he can recognize any type of wood just by its smell. They blindfold him and hand him the first board… the apprentice smells it confidently and says: “Oak!”
  • I was admitted into the hospital and as I settled into my bed, I overheard my “roommate” using the speakerphone to order breakfast from the cafeteria
  • My mom went on vacation to Florida
  • School year is like pregnancy.
  • A man visits his lawyer
  • A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer.
  • Election results are like group project grades
  • A librarian is having a discussion with a cobra…
  • Job interview question: Why ask for a high salary with no experience?
  • The other day I needed to pay a visit to a public toilet
  • A man doesn’t come home from work Friday, instead he spends the whole weekend out fishing with his buddies.
  • A hunter walks into a pub and says that he is the greatest hunter, he can recognize any game animal by its fur, and if they show him the wound, he can even tell which weapon killed it in exchange for a drink.
  • Guy : Doctor, my Girlfriend is pregnant but we always use protection and the rubber never broke. How is it possible?
  • (An original joke best read aloud) My friend got a job as one of those sushi girls. Y’know, where guys eat sushi off her naked.
  • What did the ghost of the Redditor say when looking at it’s own corpse?
  • What’s yellow and really hurts if it gets in your eye?
  • What a nice couple, how long have you been married?
  • Three cougars
  • Why did the BYU student come inside?
  • Reminder: terrorist jokes are tasteless and unfunny
  • Would make a joke about fencing
  • Possums are from the south
  • Did you know they just ruled dad jokes to be unconstitutional?
  • Boudreaux goes to the doctor

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