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Author: Joke Poo

A pirate walks into a bar…

Posted on June 2, 2025 by Joke Poo

He looks like a stereotypical grizzled old sea dog, with a peg leg, a hook for a hand, and an eyepatch. It's a pretty slow day at the bar, without much custom…

Why does Batman wear such a dark suit?

Posted on June 2, 2025 by Joke Poo

Because he doesn't want to get shot. Why does Robin wear such a colorful suit? Because Batman doesn't want to get shot. Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo" version: Joke…

My husband makes THE BEST barbecue.

Posted on June 2, 2025 by Joke Poo

…it’s too bad he didn’t have more meat on him. Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo" version: Joke Poo: My Boss Bakes Badly My boss makes THE BEST spreadsheets… …it’s…

Yesterday my friend told me that I didn’t understand the meaning of the word irony

Posted on June 2, 2025 by Joke Poo

Which was ironic because we were at a hardware store Okay, here’s a joke titled "Joke Poo" that plays on the original’s structure and twist, while changing the context: Joke Poo Yesterday,…

A rope walks into a bar…

Posted on June 2, 2025 by Joke Poo

The bartender yells, "Hey! We don't like your type around here." So the rope sadly leaves the establishment. The rope stands in the alley for a few minutes before he builds up…

What a coincidence

Posted on June 2, 2025 by Joke Poo

A chicken farmer went to the local bar. He sat next to a woman and ordered champagne. The woman said : "How strange, I also just ordered a glass of champagne." "What…

A grieving man approaches a puzzle box maker and requests the man make a special casket for his wife, because they both loved puzzles.

Posted on June 2, 2025 by Joke Poo

Intrigued, the craftsman obliges, and sets to work making an exquisite puzzle box casket, which is buried the next day. Some time passes, and the two men cross paths again one day….

What do you call it when a police officer goes to the bathroom?

Posted on June 2, 2025 by Joke Poo

A crackdown Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo" based on the police officer bathroom joke: Joke Poo: What do you call it when a chef seasons the toilet? A saltine…

Why was Shrek never satisfied in bed?

Posted on June 2, 2025 by Joke Poo

Because Princess Fiona was just a meaty ogre lover Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo" based on your Shrek joke, aiming for a similar structure and surprise: Joke Poo: Why…

A grizzly-looking man—well-built, with guns hanging from his waist—walks into a tavern.

Posted on June 2, 2025 by Joke Poo

He heads straight to the bartender, orders three shots, and downs them one after the other. He scans the room, and the people shift uncomfortably. The tension is thick. Then, without a…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • My girlfriend told me to take the spider out instead of killing him.
  • Schooling experience
  • I’m Old, Last Night…
  • What’s the connection between Titanic and The Sixth Sense?
  • An exhausted nurse goes back to her station…
  • A man walks into a library and asks for books on paranoia
  • My wife asked if I would pick up 5 gallons of paint at the hardware store
  • Why did the crazy Mexican guy kill the train conductor?
  • A man walks into a bait and tackle shop
  • A politician is having a rally in a small town
  • What do you call a group of preteen girls playing musical instruments?
  • The waiter dropped my steak.
  • Jesus drove a Honda, but didn’t talk about it.
  • Local Idiot 1: “Does it hurt to get a tattoo?”
  • Yoda once said “Do, or do not. There is no try”
  • I put my cat on a vegan diet.
  • A man and his wife were sitting in their living room one evening.
  • A man tells his doctor “Doctor, my girlfriend is pregnant, but we always use protection and the rubber never broke. How can she be pregnant?”
  • My patient asked, “Doctor, will i be alright?”
  • One day the teacher told her class to think of something exiting that happened recently.
  • In a small town there was a couple, known for being unafraid to express their love in a simple action.
  • These tropical birds stole my beer…
  • The Sentence
  • Good news/bad news
  • Bad luck Dave
  • I’m a stay at home dad and I started a daycare.
  • Prayer
  • A new cave has been opened in hell
  • The CIA advertises for an assassin and three applicants, Tom, Dick and Harry, are chosen for a final test
  • What did the pickle say to the cucumber?
  • A young class were enjoying the first day of first grade.
  • At the hospital…
  • A woman is sitting at home, on the patio with her husband, drinking a glass of wine and she says, “I love you.”
  • The perch problem
  • In Russia, two guys are queuing to buy potatoes
  • There’s an old joke about the difference between American and Russian corruption.
  • Doctor’s advice for premature ejaculation didn’t go as planned
  • A man wakes up hungover in an alley with his pants off, and notices two colored rings painted on this dick, one brown, one red
  • Scientists took out the left half of a man’s brain
  • A widower goes to a psychic to contact his late wife. “Honey,” he says. “Are you happy?”
  • New Zealand would be so safe in case of a world war
  • A guy walks into a pharmacy and asks, “Do you have any antiseptics here?”
  • I spent a whole year making a belt out of clocks for a fat guy.
  • Why did the chicken cross the road?
  • Knock knock
  • Charley Pride was a legendary musician
  • Women are confusing. On my wife’s birthday, I wish her a Happy Birthday and she smiles happily at me
  • I’m AM going to put glue on my hands and then handle firearms. Nobody can tell me otherwise.
  • Why did Shakespeare only use quills
  • What did one tectonic plate say to the other when they bumped into each other?

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