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Author: Joke Poo

Children’s Logic

Posted on June 22, 2025 by Joke Poo

"Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher. The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant." The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't…

How did 50 Cent got his stage name?

Posted on June 21, 2025 by Joke Poo

Somebody said to him "be the change you wish to see in the world." Okay, here’s my "Joke Poo" version of that joke, playing with the same idea of literal misinterpretation and…

Me: I bought a gun because of a bird phobia.

Posted on June 21, 2025 by Joke Poo

Me: I bought a gun because of a bird phobia. Therapist: You might be getting carried away. Me: (firing into the ceiling) not without a fight. Okay, here’s my attempt at a…

A couple who were big spenders had always dreamed

Posted on June 21, 2025 by Joke Poo

of a vacation in Hawaii but had never managed to save up enough money. Then one day they came up with an idea – each time they had sex, they would put…

There was a vampire who went to medical school and became an ear, nose and throat specialist.

Posted on June 21, 2025 by Joke Poo

He was pretty good at the first two but kind of sucked at the last one. Joke Poo: There was a group of particularly ambitious dung beetles who all decided to attend…

What are your dogs’ names?

Posted on June 21, 2025 by Joke Poo

Me: "Calvin and Klein." "Isn't that a brand of underwear?" Me: "Exactly, they're boxers." Joke Poo: What Does Your Garden Grow? What are your plants’ names? Me: "Diesel and Unleaded." "Isn’t that…

A prostitute was working late at night when she spotted a nervous looking man approaching her

Posted on June 21, 2025 by Joke Poo

He was a young looking man, dressed in business casual attire and shaking a bit. Still, the woman smiled at him. "Hey baby," she said as he approached her, "you look a…

Camping with my girlfriend and two of her friends in the desert, I was letting my imagination run wild.

Posted on June 21, 2025 by Joke Poo

My girlfriend could see the look in my eyes and asked what I was thinking. I said, "I can see us in a Ménage à trois with your friend." To which ny…

3 men with different addictions died on the same day.

Posted on June 21, 2025 by Joke Poo

In heaven, Saint Peter asked what each person's vice was. Joe said "My vice was eating everything I saw!" The saint said: "You will spend 1000 years trapped in a room in…

Doctor: Well, it looks like you’re pregnant.

Posted on June 21, 2025 by Joke Poo

Woman: Oh my God, I’m pregnant?! Doctor: No, it just looks like you are. Okay, here’s my attempt, riffing on the pregnant woman joke: Joke Poo: Plumber’s Prognosis Plumber: Well, it looks…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • How to pronounce Celtic words and names
  • I was at a con the other day and a girl cosplaying as Pomni held the door open for me.
  • What do you call footwear made from bananas?
  • New deodorant
  • Man sends widow email by mistake
  • My wife asked how my doctor’s visit went. I said, “Pretty normal, except he told me I need to start wearing adult diapers.” She asked why.
  • The wife came back from buying her costume for a fancy dress party earlier.
  • Gator Show
  • Last night I dreamt I had one hand on the steering wheel of my car and with the other hand I was flipping pancakes
  • There was a little sapling out in the woods between an Oak and a Maple.
  • A guy who lives in Boston hears there’s huge carp in the pond on the Common.
  • God said to Moses, “come forth, and receive eternal peace”…
  • An accountant, a lawyer, and a preacher were out hunting
  • If you’re American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you’re in the bathroom? European.
  • Eighty-year-old Bessie storms into the rec room at the retirement home, fist raised high.
  • Guy walks into a nice Italian restaurant after the lunch rush with his emotional support alligator
  • At the World Cup final, a man notices an empty seat next to him. He asks, “Who would miss the World Cup final?”
  • A guy tells his buddy, “My wife ran off with my best friend Mike yesterday.”
  • Still my favorite joke I ever made up. :)
  • We were enjoying warm drinks at the fall festival when my girlfriend’s dad pulled me aside and sternly asked what my intentions were with his daughter.
  • Did you hear about the Vulcan that got married and had children?
  • The farmer and the milking machine!
  • When two tampons walk down the street why don’t they say anything to each other?
  • A mom is putting her little boy to bed.
  • My favourite math joke
  • Little Johnny is playing in the yard when he gets a wood splinter in his hand…
  • A woman waits anxiously outside the ICU for news about her husband.
  • Three blokes were at the pub discussing what the fastest thing in the world is
  • An American politician once visited the USSR, and was given a tour of a Soviet automobile factory
  • A young Jewish man walks into an antique shop.
  • What do you call a line up at a Vietnamese restaurant?
  • Just had to take my 2 year old cousin’s shitty nappy off
  • We are the Dyslexic Borg.
  • The Girl with the Wooden Eye
  • Raised in a Barn
  • Eucalyptus
  • I was visiting my girlfriend the other night…
  • Cross-eyed horse
  • The woman and her blonde friend decided to take a fishing trip.
  • A wife, pissed off that her husband was late again, wrote a dramatic note: I’ve had enough. I’m leaving you. Don’t try to find me.
  • A man calls the police
  • What is a landlord’s favorite kind of tea?
  • Fun puns.
  • My wife and I were discussing names for our newborn son when she asked if we could name him after her father.
  • What do you call a group of crows that are one short of a flock?
  • Sister Mary sat across the table from the mother superior.
  • Max and Pete are getting a haircut and shave at a barbershop.
  • An elderly Jewish man crashes his car into a tree. The paramedics arrive and use the jaws of life to extract him from the vehicle. They then put him on a stretcher, loosen his clothing to facilitate breathing, and cover him with a blanket.
  • “Push harder”, I shouted at my wife while she was in labor.
  • Two Irishmen were sitting at a pub having a pint, watching the brothel across the street.

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