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Author: Joke Poo

Why is Mel Brooks making Spaceballs 2 in 2025?

Posted on June 20, 2025 by Joke Poo

Because there's no way a studio would greenlight Blazing Saddles 2 in 2025. Joke Poo: Why is Jeff Bezos launching a luxury space yacht in 2030? Because there’s no way the IRS…

Asked my cinephile friend what movie is best to go into completely blind.

Posted on June 20, 2025 by Joke Poo

He said, “None… you’ll want to be able to see them.” Joke Poo: Asked my Gardener Friend Asked my avid gardener friend what vegetable is best to grow starting from seed with…

Three men die and appear at the Pearly Gates

Posted on June 20, 2025 by Joke Poo

St. Peter says that before they can enter, they must describe the circumstances of their death. The first man says, I'm not proud of this but I was an insanely jealous man….

A young woman wearing a sleeveless dress walks into a pub.

Posted on June 20, 2025 by Joke Poo

She walks upto to a bunch of men sitting at the table and raises her arm revealing a hairy armpit and pointing at the men says,"Which one of you is going to…

I started dating this beautiful comedian. She made me laugh so much.

Posted on June 20, 2025 by Joke Poo

Even when I went down on her, she tasted funny. Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo," riffing on the original joke while aiming for a similar comedic structure and surprise:…

What’s the difference between a drunk and a stoner?

Posted on June 20, 2025 by Joke Poo

A drunk will blow through a stop sign at 80 MPH. A stoner will wait for it to turn green! Joke Poo: What’s the difference between a coder and a gamer? A…

An adulteress stands weeping before a mob as they prepare to stone her to death.

Posted on June 20, 2025 by Joke Poo

Jesus then stands defiantly in front of the crowd and says “STOP. Let the one amongst you who has no sin cast the first stone.” The crowd falls still. Suddenly a rock…

Six retired Florida gentlemen were playing high stakes poker in a condo clubhouse.

Posted on June 20, 2025 by Joke Poo

During an especially high-stakes game, a member of the group, Ron, lost $5,000 on a single hand, clutched his chest and dropped dead at the table from a heart attack. Showing respect…

Why did the lettuce blush?

Posted on June 20, 2025 by Joke Poo

It saw the salad dressing Okay, here’s my "Joke Poo" version, titled "Accidental Fertilizer": Title: Accidental Fertilizer Why did the rose suddenly bloom overnight, despite the drought? … It mistook the puppy…

If you joke about Alexander The Great

Posted on June 20, 2025 by Joke Poo

I won't laugh cause I am not a historian. That doesn't mean the joke is bad but that the joke is only 356BC late. Okay, I need the original joke about Alexander…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • Man sends widow email by mistake
  • My wife asked how my doctor’s visit went. I said, “Pretty normal, except he told me I need to start wearing adult diapers.” She asked why.
  • The wife came back from buying her costume for a fancy dress party earlier.
  • Gator Show
  • Last night I dreamt I had one hand on the steering wheel of my car and with the other hand I was flipping pancakes
  • There was a little sapling out in the woods between an Oak and a Maple.
  • A guy who lives in Boston hears there’s huge carp in the pond on the Common.
  • God said to Moses, “come forth, and receive eternal peace”…
  • An accountant, a lawyer, and a preacher were out hunting
  • If you’re American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you’re in the bathroom? European.
  • Eighty-year-old Bessie storms into the rec room at the retirement home, fist raised high.
  • Guy walks into a nice Italian restaurant after the lunch rush with his emotional support alligator
  • At the World Cup final, a man notices an empty seat next to him. He asks, “Who would miss the World Cup final?”
  • A guy tells his buddy, “My wife ran off with my best friend Mike yesterday.”
  • Still my favorite joke I ever made up. :)
  • We were enjoying warm drinks at the fall festival when my girlfriend’s dad pulled me aside and sternly asked what my intentions were with his daughter.
  • Did you hear about the Vulcan that got married and had children?
  • The farmer and the milking machine!
  • When two tampons walk down the street why don’t they say anything to each other?
  • A mom is putting her little boy to bed.
  • My favourite math joke
  • Little Johnny is playing in the yard when he gets a wood splinter in his hand…
  • A woman waits anxiously outside the ICU for news about her husband.
  • Three blokes were at the pub discussing what the fastest thing in the world is
  • An American politician once visited the USSR, and was given a tour of a Soviet automobile factory
  • A young Jewish man walks into an antique shop.
  • What do you call a line up at a Vietnamese restaurant?
  • Just had to take my 2 year old cousin’s shitty nappy off
  • We are the Dyslexic Borg.
  • The Girl with the Wooden Eye
  • Raised in a Barn
  • Eucalyptus
  • I was visiting my girlfriend the other night…
  • Cross-eyed horse
  • The woman and her blonde friend decided to take a fishing trip.
  • A wife, pissed off that her husband was late again, wrote a dramatic note: I’ve had enough. I’m leaving you. Don’t try to find me.
  • A man calls the police
  • What is a landlord’s favorite kind of tea?
  • Fun puns.
  • My wife and I were discussing names for our newborn son when she asked if we could name him after her father.
  • What do you call a group of crows that are one short of a flock?
  • Sister Mary sat across the table from the mother superior.
  • Max and Pete are getting a haircut and shave at a barbershop.
  • An elderly Jewish man crashes his car into a tree. The paramedics arrive and use the jaws of life to extract him from the vehicle. They then put him on a stretcher, loosen his clothing to facilitate breathing, and cover him with a blanket.
  • “Push harder”, I shouted at my wife while she was in labor.
  • Two Irishmen were sitting at a pub having a pint, watching the brothel across the street.
  • After landing my new job as a Walmart greeter — a great gig for many retirees — I lasted less than a day.
  • How can you tell it isn’t Halloween yet?
  • I was chilling on the couch before work
  • One Hot Summer Day…

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