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Author: Joke Poo

If a man driving an absurdly large truck is compensating for a tiny schmeckel, what is a woman wearing a wedding ring with a huge diamond compensating for?

Posted on June 20, 2025 by Joke Poo

An ugly old husband. Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo" based on your prompt: Joke Poo: If a Chef’s Hat Compensates… If a chef wearing an absurdly tall chef’s hat…

Suzie Smith went to church

Posted on June 20, 2025 by Joke Poo

The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers. Suzie Smith stood and walked to the podium. She said, "I have a praise. Two months…

During the job interview the boss asks the young lady about her office skills. “Do you think you could learn to use my Dictaphone?” he asked.

Posted on June 20, 2025 by Joke Poo

"Certainly not!" she says.. "I will use my finger like everybody else." Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo," keeping the spirit of the original but changing the scenario and the…

About neighbors and a rabbit

Posted on June 20, 2025 by Joke Poo

A nice family of mother, father, two kids and a pet rabbit live in a bourgeois suburb. Next to them lives a couple with a dog. It is a sweet dog, good…

The Date

Posted on June 20, 2025 by Joke Poo

Johnny calls a girl to ask her out for a date. "Well," she says, "I'm on my menstrual cycle." "Okay, great," Johnny says, "I'll bring my moped." Joke Poo: The Construction Site…

Three men die and are standing before the gates of heaven

Posted on June 20, 2025 by Joke Poo

The angel at the gates tells them that none of them were bad people, but not virtuous either. Therefor, all he could offer them was reincarnation. But they could not reincarnate as…

My friends claimed to be hooking up with ancient stringed instruments.

Posted on June 20, 2025 by Joke Poo

I said they were all fucking lyres. Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo" based on your original: Joke Poo: The Coding Interview My friends claimed to be acing all their…

Pete’s headache

Posted on June 20, 2025 by Joke Poo

The mayor of a local town calls his friend John who owns a factory. "Listen John, we all know that Pete in our town isn't the brightest lamp but it's a shame…

A husband and wife were married for 25 years.

Posted on June 20, 2025 by Joke Poo

They were famous for fighting constantly, and generally disliking each other. On their 26th wedding anniversary the husband had a heart attack and died. A few days later his widowed wife walked…

Holmes and Watson decide to go on a camping trip.

Posted on June 20, 2025 by Joke Poo

They hike for a few hours onto the moors. After finding a nice, secluded spot, they set up their tent, build a fire, and watch the sun set. After dining, their fire…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • The wife came back from buying her costume for a fancy dress party earlier.
  • Gator Show
  • Last night I dreamt I had one hand on the steering wheel of my car and with the other hand I was flipping pancakes
  • There was a little sapling out in the woods between an Oak and a Maple.
  • A guy who lives in Boston hears there’s huge carp in the pond on the Common.
  • God said to Moses, “come forth, and receive eternal peace”…
  • An accountant, a lawyer, and a preacher were out hunting
  • If you’re American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you’re in the bathroom? European.
  • Eighty-year-old Bessie storms into the rec room at the retirement home, fist raised high.
  • Guy walks into a nice Italian restaurant after the lunch rush with his emotional support alligator
  • At the World Cup final, a man notices an empty seat next to him. He asks, “Who would miss the World Cup final?”
  • A guy tells his buddy, “My wife ran off with my best friend Mike yesterday.”
  • Still my favorite joke I ever made up. :)
  • We were enjoying warm drinks at the fall festival when my girlfriend’s dad pulled me aside and sternly asked what my intentions were with his daughter.
  • Did you hear about the Vulcan that got married and had children?
  • The farmer and the milking machine!
  • When two tampons walk down the street why don’t they say anything to each other?
  • A mom is putting her little boy to bed.
  • My favourite math joke
  • Little Johnny is playing in the yard when he gets a wood splinter in his hand…
  • A woman waits anxiously outside the ICU for news about her husband.
  • Three blokes were at the pub discussing what the fastest thing in the world is
  • An American politician once visited the USSR, and was given a tour of a Soviet automobile factory
  • A young Jewish man walks into an antique shop.
  • What do you call a line up at a Vietnamese restaurant?
  • Just had to take my 2 year old cousin’s shitty nappy off
  • We are the Dyslexic Borg.
  • The Girl with the Wooden Eye
  • Raised in a Barn
  • Eucalyptus
  • I was visiting my girlfriend the other night…
  • Cross-eyed horse
  • The woman and her blonde friend decided to take a fishing trip.
  • A wife, pissed off that her husband was late again, wrote a dramatic note: I’ve had enough. I’m leaving you. Don’t try to find me.
  • A man calls the police
  • What is a landlord’s favorite kind of tea?
  • Fun puns.
  • My wife and I were discussing names for our newborn son when she asked if we could name him after her father.
  • What do you call a group of crows that are one short of a flock?
  • Sister Mary sat across the table from the mother superior.
  • Max and Pete are getting a haircut and shave at a barbershop.
  • An elderly Jewish man crashes his car into a tree. The paramedics arrive and use the jaws of life to extract him from the vehicle. They then put him on a stretcher, loosen his clothing to facilitate breathing, and cover him with a blanket.
  • “Push harder”, I shouted at my wife while she was in labor.
  • Two Irishmen were sitting at a pub having a pint, watching the brothel across the street.
  • After landing my new job as a Walmart greeter — a great gig for many retirees — I lasted less than a day.
  • How can you tell it isn’t Halloween yet?
  • I was chilling on the couch before work
  • One Hot Summer Day…
  • Another man goes to another doctor
  • Purple is my favorite color…

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