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Author: Joke Poo

A lovely Czechoslovakian-born British woman approached a pawnbroker at a local mall.

Posted on June 16, 2025 by Joke Poo

She said to him in almost perfect English, "Please, I am looking for one night stand." Liking her accent, the man closed his shop, and they both went to a bar for…

Which Spice Girl can carry the most petrol?

Posted on June 16, 2025 by Joke Poo

Geri can Okay, here’s my attempt: Joke Poo: Which Pokemon is best at plumbing? Answer: Pipi can. Okay, let’s break down this Spice Girls joke and then spice it up (pun intended)….

Why did Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head get divorced?

Posted on June 16, 2025 by Joke Poo

She caught him trying on her parts. Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo" based on the Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head joke, titled appropriately: Joke Poo: Why did the Plumber…

Man goes to doctor. Says he’s depressed.

Posted on June 16, 2025 by Joke Poo

Says he feels all alone in a threatening world where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain. The doctor says, “Treatment is simple. Great clown pagliacci is in town tonight! Go and…

Headstone problems

Posted on June 16, 2025 by Joke Poo

His wife having passed away a Yorkshireman went to the local monumental mason in order to acquire a suitable headstone in time for the funeral. The mason asked for suggestions regarding a…

I was selling some of my music gear online, but all the only replies I got were “visually impaired”, “loss of hearing”, “autistic”, “uses a wheelchair”, etc…

Posted on June 16, 2025 by Joke Poo

That’s when I realized…the comments were disabled. Original Joke: I was selling some of my music gear online, but all the only replies I got were “visually impaired”, “loss of hearing”, “autistic”,…

I hated watching silent movies with my dad.

Posted on June 16, 2025 by Joke Poo

He always had to add smell. Okay, here’s my "Joke Poo" version of that joke: Joke Poo: I hated going to puppet shows with my grandma. She always had to pull my…

Why is the world so bad?

Posted on June 16, 2025 by Joke Poo

It's only awarded one star. Okay, here’s my "Joke Poo" based on your original: Joke Poo: Why are the toilets at the fancy restaurant always so clean? Because they’re only given one…

Why do robots always take the subway during the week?

Posted on June 16, 2025 by Joke Poo

Because it is their sub routine. Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo" version of that joke, titled appropriately: Joke Poo: Why Do Compost Bins Get So Depressed? Why do compost…

Be careful what you offer…

Posted on June 16, 2025 by Joke Poo

A man meets a prostitute in a bar. She tells him, “For £300, I’ll do absolutely anything you want — but you have to say it in just three words.” He hands…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • The farmer and the milking machine!
  • When two tampons walk down the street why don’t they say anything to each other?
  • A mom is putting her little boy to bed.
  • My favourite math joke
  • Little Johnny is playing in the yard when he gets a wood splinter in his hand…
  • A woman waits anxiously outside the ICU for news about her husband.
  • Three blokes were at the pub discussing what the fastest thing in the world is
  • An American politician once visited the USSR, and was given a tour of a Soviet automobile factory
  • A young Jewish man walks into an antique shop.
  • What do you call a line up at a Vietnamese restaurant?
  • Just had to take my 2 year old cousin’s shitty nappy off
  • We are the Dyslexic Borg.
  • The Girl with the Wooden Eye
  • Raised in a Barn
  • Eucalyptus
  • I was visiting my girlfriend the other night…
  • Cross-eyed horse
  • The woman and her blonde friend decided to take a fishing trip.
  • A wife, pissed off that her husband was late again, wrote a dramatic note: I’ve had enough. I’m leaving you. Don’t try to find me.
  • A man calls the police
  • What is a landlord’s favorite kind of tea?
  • Fun puns.
  • My wife and I were discussing names for our newborn son when she asked if we could name him after her father.
  • What do you call a group of crows that are one short of a flock?
  • Sister Mary sat across the table from the mother superior.
  • Max and Pete are getting a haircut and shave at a barbershop.
  • An elderly Jewish man crashes his car into a tree. The paramedics arrive and use the jaws of life to extract him from the vehicle. They then put him on a stretcher, loosen his clothing to facilitate breathing, and cover him with a blanket.
  • “Push harder”, I shouted at my wife while she was in labor.
  • Two Irishmen were sitting at a pub having a pint, watching the brothel across the street.
  • After landing my new job as a Walmart greeter — a great gig for many retirees — I lasted less than a day.
  • How can you tell it isn’t Halloween yet?
  • I was chilling on the couch before work
  • One Hot Summer Day…
  • Another man goes to another doctor
  • Purple is my favorite color…
  • The punchline is the name of the site you are on.
  • Why do ghosts like to take the elevator?
  • A man goes to the doctor
  • Camel Brand Cigarettes
  • Do you ever wake up, kiss the person sleeping beside you and feel happy that you are alive?
  • A blonde goes ice fishing
  • A 60 Year billionaire marries a hot 25 Years old girl
  • A sheepdog returns to his farmer and says, “All right, I’ve got your 70 sheep back in the east pen.”
  • The Robot Interview
  • A man goes to a doctor
  • I shot someone with a starting gun the other day.
  • A new Navy recruit starts his first day on a submarine.
  • A married man spots a gorgeous woman in the supermarket and says, “Excuse me, I’ve lost my wife somewhere in these aisles… would you mind chatting with me for a bit?”
  • A young man walks into a pharmacy and asks for condoms…
  • An old lady goes to the doctor and says ‘doc, I can’t stop farting. They’re silent with no smell, but I’ve let out 20 in the past 5 minutes sitting here’

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