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Author: Joke Poo

A woman at a diet club was lamenting the fact that she had put on weight.

Posted on June 14, 2025 by Joke Poo

“I made my family’s favourite cake over the weekend,” she told the group, “and they ate half of it at dinner. The next day, I kept staring at the other half until…

A woman goes to the doctor

Posted on June 14, 2025 by Joke Poo

The doctor asks her what the problem is. She says "I have these weird marks on my inner thighs." She lifts her skirt and spreads her legs, showing two large circles, one…

A woman goes to buy a parrot and notices the prices are $100, $200, and $15. Curious, she asks why the last one is so cheap.

Posted on June 14, 2025 by Joke Poo

The shopkeeper replies, "That one used to live in a brothel." Amused, she decides to buy it for $15. When she brings the parrot home, it immediately says, "Well, I'll be damned,…

One shoelace asks the other, “have you talked to a therapist about getting your life in order yet?”

Posted on June 14, 2025 by Joke Poo

"I'm a frayed knot" Joke Poo: A Toilet Brush asks the Plunger, "Have you considered professional help to handle your existential angst?" "I’m just so down about things, and I feel like…

What goes pataclop pataclop pataclop ratatatatata pataclop pataclop pataclop ?

Posted on June 14, 2025 by Joke Poo

An Amish drive-by shooting Joke Poo What goes ploop… ploop… splash… glug glug glug… ploop… ploop… … A lactose-intolerant mermaid trying to order a milkshake at a drive-thru. Alright, let’s dissect this…

Lego Braille

Posted on June 14, 2025 by Joke Poo

Little blind boy: daddy, my legos have braille on them! Dad: oh yeah son, what do they say? Little boy: bbbbbbbbbbbb Joke Poo: Musical Poo Little blind boy: Daddy, my piano keys…

Why did the blind guy oppose the votes?

Posted on June 14, 2025 by Joke Poo

He knew the eyes have it. Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo" based on your original: Joke Poo: Why did the plumber refuse to unclog the toilet? He knew it…

I should stop worrying about what others think.

Posted on June 14, 2025 by Joke Poo

Right? Right?! Joke Poo: I Should Stop Caring About My Garden Gnomes I should stop caring about what my garden gnomes think. Right? Right?! They’re made of ceramic! Alright, let’s dissect this…

Yo mama so fat

Posted on June 14, 2025 by Joke Poo

She only has widely-held beliefs. Okay, here’s a joke riffing on the "Yo Mama" structure, attempting to maintain a similar comedic punchline, titled Joke Poo: Joke Poo: Your Argument So Weak Your…

My girlfriend (Ruth) said she wanted a ride on my motorcycle.

Posted on June 14, 2025 by Joke Poo

As I drove her down the road I ran over a pothole and she fell off. I rode on…Ruthlessly. Joke Poo: Title: The Professor’s Trip My archaeology professor, Dr. Stone, said he…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • A young Jewish man walks into an antique shop.
  • What do you call a line up at a Vietnamese restaurant?
  • Just had to take my 2 year old cousin’s shitty nappy off
  • We are the Dyslexic Borg.
  • The Girl with the Wooden Eye
  • Raised in a Barn
  • Eucalyptus
  • I was visiting my girlfriend the other night…
  • Cross-eyed horse
  • The woman and her blonde friend decided to take a fishing trip.
  • A wife, pissed off that her husband was late again, wrote a dramatic note: I’ve had enough. I’m leaving you. Don’t try to find me.
  • A man calls the police
  • What is a landlord’s favorite kind of tea?
  • Fun puns.
  • My wife and I were discussing names for our newborn son when she asked if we could name him after her father.
  • What do you call a group of crows that are one short of a flock?
  • Sister Mary sat across the table from the mother superior.
  • Max and Pete are getting a haircut and shave at a barbershop.
  • An elderly Jewish man crashes his car into a tree. The paramedics arrive and use the jaws of life to extract him from the vehicle. They then put him on a stretcher, loosen his clothing to facilitate breathing, and cover him with a blanket.
  • “Push harder”, I shouted at my wife while she was in labor.
  • Two Irishmen were sitting at a pub having a pint, watching the brothel across the street.
  • After landing my new job as a Walmart greeter — a great gig for many retirees — I lasted less than a day.
  • How can you tell it isn’t Halloween yet?
  • I was chilling on the couch before work
  • One Hot Summer Day…
  • Another man goes to another doctor
  • Purple is my favorite color…
  • The punchline is the name of the site you are on.
  • Why do ghosts like to take the elevator?
  • A man goes to the doctor
  • Camel Brand Cigarettes
  • Do you ever wake up, kiss the person sleeping beside you and feel happy that you are alive?
  • A blonde goes ice fishing
  • A 60 Year billionaire marries a hot 25 Years old girl
  • A sheepdog returns to his farmer and says, “All right, I’ve got your 70 sheep back in the east pen.”
  • The Robot Interview
  • A man goes to a doctor
  • I shot someone with a starting gun the other day.
  • A new Navy recruit starts his first day on a submarine.
  • A married man spots a gorgeous woman in the supermarket and says, “Excuse me, I’ve lost my wife somewhere in these aisles… would you mind chatting with me for a bit?”
  • A young man walks into a pharmacy and asks for condoms…
  • An old lady goes to the doctor and says ‘doc, I can’t stop farting. They’re silent with no smell, but I’ve let out 20 in the past 5 minutes sitting here’
  • Girlfriend asked if she was fat so I proved my love in the most literal way
  • A blonde is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet
  • What’s the scariest thing a gun toting, pegging enthusiast, broke ass girlfriend can say to you?
  • Yo mama’s so fat… whenever she went to the circus…
  • What’s the difference between a guy at a gay bar, a Type 2 diabetic, and a job applicant at a construction site?
  • Patient goes to doctor for test results.
  • A farmer was selling apple seeds that were supposed to make you smarter.
  • A man walks into a bar and orders a whiskey. He takes it outside to enjoy on the bench.

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