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Author: Joke Poo

People in Los Angeles really hate hockey

Posted on June 14, 2025 by Joke Poo

There's whole crowds of them yelling "No Kings!" and "No ice in LA!" Okay, here’s my "Joke Poo" version of that joke: Joke Poo: Techies Hate Potting Soil People in Silicon Valley…

To help with my outbursts at home, my anger-management therapist suggested renaming my kids to “Just $1.99” and “Only $2.99”.

Posted on June 14, 2025 by Joke Poo

I was like, “Hmmm….those prices are hard to beat.” Okay, here’s a new joke riffing on the pricing/value theme of the original, titled "Joke Poo": Joke Poo: To help curb my late-night…

Why does the United States still use the Imperial measurement system?

Posted on June 14, 2025 by Joke Poo

Because they have a “foot” fetish. Joke Poo: Why do dogs sniff each other’s butts? Because they have a "scent" of humor. Okay, let’s dissect this joke: Elements: Setup: "Why does the…

A new neighbor moves into the largest house on the street.

Posted on June 14, 2025 by Joke Poo

John, The un-official "Head" of the neighborhood, goes over to great the new guy. "Hello there, friend, I'm John. What's your name?" He asks. "My name's Alex. Pleased to meet you, John."…

A guy walks into a bar and freezes when he sees a horse behind the counter

Posted on June 14, 2025 by Joke Poo

Suddenly the horse actually talks and says "You seem surprised?" And the guy says "I am. Did the cow sell the place?" Joke Poo: The Compost Crisis A farmer walks into his…

A man entered the confessional and told his priest, “I almost had an affair with another woman.”

Posted on June 14, 2025 by Joke Poo

The priest said, "What do you mean, almost?" The man said, "Well, we took our clothes off and rubbed against each other, but then I stopped!" The priest said, "Rubbing against each…

The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers.

Posted on June 14, 2025 by Joke Poo

Suzie Smith stood and walked to the podium. She said, "I have a praise. Two months ago, my husband, Tom, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed. The…

Devil: This is the lake of lava you will spend eternity in.

Posted on June 13, 2025 by Joke Poo

me: Actually, since we are underground, this would be magma. Devil: you understand this is why you're here? Okay, here’s my "Joke Poo" version of the joke, titled "Joke Poo: The Architect’s…

What’s the most popular beverage among cats?

Posted on June 13, 2025 by Joke Poo

Meowtain Mew. Joke Poo: Title: What’s the most popular snack among software developers? Punchline: Cache-hews. Alright, let’s break down this purr-fectly punny joke. Analysis: Setup: "What’s the most popular beverage among cats?"…

I told my unemployed brother that he’d need to find another means of income, which I saw made him anxious.

Posted on June 13, 2025 by Joke Poo

He began to Twitch Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo" based on your original: Original Joke: I told my unemployed brother that he’d need to find another means of income,…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • We are the Dyslexic Borg.
  • The Girl with the Wooden Eye
  • Raised in a Barn
  • Eucalyptus
  • I was visiting my girlfriend the other night…
  • Cross-eyed horse
  • The woman and her blonde friend decided to take a fishing trip.
  • A wife, pissed off that her husband was late again, wrote a dramatic note: I’ve had enough. I’m leaving you. Don’t try to find me.
  • A man calls the police
  • What is a landlord’s favorite kind of tea?
  • Fun puns.
  • My wife and I were discussing names for our newborn son when she asked if we could name him after her father.
  • What do you call a group of crows that are one short of a flock?
  • Sister Mary sat across the table from the mother superior.
  • Max and Pete are getting a haircut and shave at a barbershop.
  • An elderly Jewish man crashes his car into a tree. The paramedics arrive and use the jaws of life to extract him from the vehicle. They then put him on a stretcher, loosen his clothing to facilitate breathing, and cover him with a blanket.
  • “Push harder”, I shouted at my wife while she was in labor.
  • Two Irishmen were sitting at a pub having a pint, watching the brothel across the street.
  • After landing my new job as a Walmart greeter — a great gig for many retirees — I lasted less than a day.
  • How can you tell it isn’t Halloween yet?
  • I was chilling on the couch before work
  • One Hot Summer Day…
  • Another man goes to another doctor
  • Purple is my favorite color…
  • The punchline is the name of the site you are on.
  • Why do ghosts like to take the elevator?
  • A man goes to the doctor
  • Camel Brand Cigarettes
  • Do you ever wake up, kiss the person sleeping beside you and feel happy that you are alive?
  • A blonde goes ice fishing
  • A 60 Year billionaire marries a hot 25 Years old girl
  • A sheepdog returns to his farmer and says, “All right, I’ve got your 70 sheep back in the east pen.”
  • The Robot Interview
  • A man goes to a doctor
  • I shot someone with a starting gun the other day.
  • A new Navy recruit starts his first day on a submarine.
  • A married man spots a gorgeous woman in the supermarket and says, “Excuse me, I’ve lost my wife somewhere in these aisles… would you mind chatting with me for a bit?”
  • A young man walks into a pharmacy and asks for condoms…
  • An old lady goes to the doctor and says ‘doc, I can’t stop farting. They’re silent with no smell, but I’ve let out 20 in the past 5 minutes sitting here’
  • Girlfriend asked if she was fat so I proved my love in the most literal way
  • A blonde is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet
  • What’s the scariest thing a gun toting, pegging enthusiast, broke ass girlfriend can say to you?
  • Yo mama’s so fat… whenever she went to the circus…
  • What’s the difference between a guy at a gay bar, a Type 2 diabetic, and a job applicant at a construction site?
  • Patient goes to doctor for test results.
  • A farmer was selling apple seeds that were supposed to make you smarter.
  • A man walks into a bar and orders a whiskey. He takes it outside to enjoy on the bench.
  • Two old friends run into each other on the street.
  • The burley gates of heaven
  • Did you hear about the price of chimneys these days?!

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