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Author: Joke Poo

At my vasectomy consultation, the doctor said, “Now THIS is a big, beautiful penis!”

Posted on July 23, 2025 by Joke Poo

Then he pulled his pants back up and told me to get undressed. Joke Poo: Title: At the Dog Groomer At my dog’s grooming appointment, the groomer exclaimed, “Wow, this is a…

Why did the philosopher refuse to clean his room?

Posted on July 23, 2025 by Joke Poo

Because chaos is the natural state of the universe and who is he to interfere? Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” titled: Joke Poo: Why did the dog refuse to…

I saw an antelope the other day.

Posted on July 23, 2025 by Joke Poo

First insect wedding that I’ve attended. Okay, here’s my “Joke Poo” version of that joke, titled: Joke Poo: I Saw A Manatee I saw a manatee the other day. First underwater opera…

I used to be named after a famous South African Bishop.

Posted on July 23, 2025 by Joke Poo

I still am, but I use Tutu. Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” based on the original, titled “Joke Poo”: Joke Poo I used to be named after a famous…

So I went to the telescope shop..

Posted on July 23, 2025 by Joke Poo

I tell you what, they saw me coming a mile off. Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” of that joke, titled “Potty Training Woes”: Title: Potty Training Woes So, I…

Claustrophobia is the fear of closed spaces

Posted on July 23, 2025 by Joke Poo

For example, I'm going to the liquor store and I'm afraid that it's closed. Okay, here’s a joke riffing on the claustrophobia one, titled “Joke Poo”: Joke Poo: Kleptophobia is the fear…

A man leaves the wild animal vet clinic with a small bag.

Posted on July 23, 2025 by Joke Poo

His friend asks what’s in the bag. “Gorilla testicles.” “Why the hell do you have gorilla testicles!?” “The vet said they have powers, watch this.” The two travel to a convenience store…

I tried to teach my cat how to file taxes.

Posted on July 23, 2025 by Joke Poo

Now I owe the government three dead birds and a half-eaten moth. Joke Poo: I tried to teach my toddler how to use the self-checkout. Now the store owes me $300 in…

I have the heart of a lion, And the eye of a tiger

Posted on July 23, 2025 by Joke Poo

And a lifetime ban from the zoo Okay, here’s my “Joke Poo” version of that joke, titled accordingly: Joke Poo: The Compost Heap I have the nose of a bloodhound, And the…

“I’d like to see your lunch menu”, I told the waiter

Posted on July 23, 2025 by Joke Poo

"Excuse me sir, but I just handed it to you." "I know, but I forgot my glasses" Joke Poo: The Architect’s Specs “I’d like to see your building plans,” I told the…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • Not one person wished me a happy birthday yesterday.
  • Two cumulus clouds are up in the sky having a chat.
  • Kids today are so addicted to technology.
  • An elderly couple is getting ready for bed
  • A woman was telling her neighbour about the supermarket that had opened recently on the outskirts of town.
  • the pope’s secretary rings him:
  • 3 boys find a $20 bill on the ground..
  • My missus is going to a fancy dress party tonight, she went out yesterday and hired a costume.
  • My girlfriend asked me to roleplay as a cheater, so I said okay.
  • A married couple were shopping in the supermarket
  • At my vasectomy consultation, the doctor said, “Now THIS is a big, beautiful penis!”
  • Why did the philosopher refuse to clean his room?
  • I saw an antelope the other day.
  • I used to be named after a famous South African Bishop.
  • So I went to the telescope shop..
  • Claustrophobia is the fear of closed spaces
  • A man leaves the wild animal vet clinic with a small bag.
  • I tried to teach my cat how to file taxes.
  • I have the heart of a lion, And the eye of a tiger
  • “I’d like to see your lunch menu”, I told the waiter
  • I accidentally spilled a bottle of glue all over my vacation itinerary.
  • So after 35 years of marriage, a husband and wife went to see a therapist.
  • The Madam opened the brothel door in New York
  • The teacher asked little Johnny if he knew his numbers.
  • I just found out my wife has a twin sister.
  • Jesus and the old man…
  • What do you call a paper airplane that doesn’t fly?
  • A Wife Asks a Question to Her Husband
  • I bought a pack of biscuits, on the side it said, “Eat me big boy.”
  • What is a wok?
  • Racism exists in the oceanographic community.
  • Why are you right handed?
  • How does Lightning McQueen masturbate?
  • I recently found out they don’t have the real Mona Lisa in the Louvre
  • I saw a woman wearing short shorts that had a NASCAR logo.
  • A redneck had just been served in a Las Vegas cocktail lounge
  • An engineer wakes up in hell and thinks to himself. I’ve been a good person. I shouldn’t be here.
  • Two teenage church-goers get married.
  • As I walked into work this morning my colleague said, “Dave, you look like shit.”
  • A guy picks up a woman at a bar. After a couple of drinks they go to his place…
  • My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic..
  • The boss was confused when one of his most reliable employees didn’t show up for work.
  • A man is doing 20 over the speed limit on the highway when a cop pulls him over.
  • Accent misjudged
  • The speeding biker
  • My boss told me to have a good day…
  • Came up with this one while sitting in traffic: What’s a whiskey drinkers favorite car?
  • What do you call a cow with no legs?
  • An older couple were lying in bed one night.
  • At dinner, little Timmy was asked by his father to lead the prayer.

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