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Author: Joke Poo

Good news/bad news

Posted on June 8, 2025 by Joke Poo

Doctor: I have good news and bad news. Patient: Oh no! What’s the bad news? Doctor: Yoy only have three months to live. Patient: Oh wow – so what’s the good news…

Bad luck Dave

Posted on June 7, 2025 by Joke Poo

There was a guy named Dave, whose life was just a long string of bad luck. Lost jobs, broken phones, every vending machine he touched ate his money. The guy even got…

I’m a stay at home dad and I started a daycare.

Posted on June 7, 2025 by Joke Poo

When one of the parents was picking up their kid they commented,”Did you get the idea for this from that movie?” I said,”I did!” They go,”Oh my god! I loved Daddy Daycare!”…

Prayer

Posted on June 7, 2025 by Joke Poo

The husband tells the wife that he is going to a 3-day church conference. Wife packs his bag, prepares breakfast for him and says, “Darling, let’s pray together before you leave.” Husband…

A new cave has been opened in hell

Posted on June 7, 2025 by Joke Poo

The souls of people who worked their whole lives without vacations, dutifully paid their loans, didn’t steal, didn’t protest, didn’t break the rules – that’s exactly where they end up. One devil…

The CIA advertises for an assassin and three applicants, Tom, Dick and Harry, are chosen for a final test

Posted on June 7, 2025 by Joke Poo

Tom is given a gun and taken to a door. “Inside this room,” the CIA agent says, “you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill her!” Tom replies, “You can’t…

What did the pickle say to the cucumber?

Posted on June 7, 2025 by Joke Poo

Come on in, the water’s brine. Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo" based on the pickle joke: Joke Poo: The Email’s Lament What did the unread email say to the…

A young class were enjoying the first day of first grade.

Posted on June 7, 2025 by Joke Poo

The teacher said: “Now that we’re all grown up, we aren’t going to use baby talk any more. Instead we’re going to use grown-up words. Now who would like to start by…

At the hospital…

Posted on June 7, 2025 by Joke Poo

A blonde runs inside an emergency room screaming in panic: “Doctor, doctor, how is he?” The doctor says: “I’m afraid I’ve got some bad news… He’s suffered a massive heart attack, three…

A woman is sitting at home, on the patio with her husband, drinking a glass of wine and she says, “I love you.”

Posted on June 7, 2025 by Joke Poo

He asks, "Is that you or the wine talking?" She replies, "It's me…talking to the wine." Joke Poo: The Compost Confession A gardener is kneeling in their vegetable patch, shoveling compost, when…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • The punchline is the name of the site you are on.
  • Why do ghosts like to take the elevator?
  • A man goes to the doctor
  • Camel Brand Cigarettes
  • Do you ever wake up, kiss the person sleeping beside you and feel happy that you are alive?
  • A blonde goes ice fishing
  • A 60 Year billionaire marries a hot 25 Years old girl
  • A sheepdog returns to his farmer and says, “All right, I’ve got your 70 sheep back in the east pen.”
  • The Robot Interview
  • A man goes to a doctor
  • I shot someone with a starting gun the other day.
  • A new Navy recruit starts his first day on a submarine.
  • A married man spots a gorgeous woman in the supermarket and says, “Excuse me, I’ve lost my wife somewhere in these aisles… would you mind chatting with me for a bit?”
  • A young man walks into a pharmacy and asks for condoms…
  • An old lady goes to the doctor and says ‘doc, I can’t stop farting. They’re silent with no smell, but I’ve let out 20 in the past 5 minutes sitting here’
  • Girlfriend asked if she was fat so I proved my love in the most literal way
  • A blonde is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet
  • What’s the scariest thing a gun toting, pegging enthusiast, broke ass girlfriend can say to you?
  • Yo mama’s so fat… whenever she went to the circus…
  • What’s the difference between a guy at a gay bar, a Type 2 diabetic, and a job applicant at a construction site?
  • Patient goes to doctor for test results.
  • A farmer was selling apple seeds that were supposed to make you smarter.
  • A man walks into a bar and orders a whiskey. He takes it outside to enjoy on the bench.
  • Two old friends run into each other on the street.
  • The burley gates of heaven
  • Did you hear about the price of chimneys these days?!
  • The Captain’s Red Shirt
  • Little Johnny’s neighbor
  • Horse
  • Your momma’s so fat…
  • I saw a dwarf climbing down a rope from a prison rooftop.
  • A Jewish woman came to her rabi, visibly upset.
  • Teacher asks Billy a math question
  • I find people can be so judgemental these days….
  • The butcher shop
  • September is Alzheimer’s awareness month
  • I saw a bison in the gym doing a workout the other day….
  • A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt.
  • Mexican Mayonnaise
  • I hate charging my electric car.
  • One day I called home and my kid answered. I asked where’s mom?
  • An old man comes to confession and says to the priest:
  • A Knock Knock Joke
  • What’s common between a testicular joke and testicular cancer?
  • A guy walks in a store looking to buy some beer
  • One afternoon, a teenage couple was on a hike in the woods.
  • Wish me luck, everyone! I have to meet with some people working at my bank in a few minutes. If all goes well I’ll pay off every debt I have, and still have enough to retire early.
  • A penguin was driving through a small town when his car broke down…
  • Not all construction tasks are equally enjoyable.
  • In a carpenter’s workshop, one apprentice makes a bet that he can recognize any type of wood just by its smell. They blindfold him and hand him the first board… the apprentice smells it confidently and says: “Oak!”

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