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Author: Joke Poo

I went to Whole Foods today, and was really impressed with the variety.

Posted on June 4, 2025 by Joke Poo

I had never been there before, and I always thought it would just be things like bagels, donuts, Cheerios, maybe some Swiss cheese… (Apologies, this joke only works verbally.) Joke Poo: The…

I wanted to spice up my love life…

Posted on June 4, 2025June 4, 2025 by Joke Poo

… so I filled my sex doll up with helium. Now, the sex is fantastic. But her voice is so fucking annoying. Joke Poo: I wanted to fertilize my sad little garden……

Did you hear about the German cannibal?

Posted on June 4, 2025 by Joke Poo

He loved eating Hamburgers Okay, here’s my "Joke Poo" version, inspired by your original German Cannibal joke: Title: Joke Poo – The French Flora Enthusiast Did you hear about the French gardener?…

I’m trying to remember the 7 Deadly Sins

Posted on June 4, 2025 by Joke Poo

I've got: Pride, Envy, Sloth, Gluttony, Lust, Greed… …and I can't remember the last one. It's really pissing me off! Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo" version of the 7…

What do sheep do when Yoda makes them levitate?

Posted on June 4, 2025 by Joke Poo

Dagobah! Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo" version of the Yoda/Sheep joke, titled "Joke Poo" as requested: Joke Poo: What do garden gnomes do when Mr. Clean gives them a…

A woman visits the doctor…

Posted on June 4, 2025 by Joke Poo

as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant. After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her, "Well, I hope you like changing diapers." She replies, "Oh…

Why do carpenters have a reputation for being considerate lovers?

Posted on June 4, 2025 by Joke Poo

Because they pleasure twice and nut once. Okay, here’s a new joke titled "Joke Poo" playing on the original’s suggestive humor and wordplay structure: Joke Poo: Why are gardeners always so calm…

Mrs Green? It’s the hospital. Your little boy has been hit by a bus, but don’t worry

Posted on June 4, 2025 by Joke Poo

"He had clean underwear on". Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo" version of the provided joke: Joke Poo: The Astronaut’s Report "Houston, this is Apollo 18. We’ve encountered a slight…

A man walks into a bar

Posted on June 4, 2025 by Joke Poo

A man walks into a bar and says,  "Quick! Give me a shot of whiskey before the trouble starts!" The bartender shrugs and pours him a shot. The man grabs it, downs…

My mom told me I was gaining weight. I said it’s for a role. She asked what role.

Posted on June 4, 2025 by Joke Poo

I said, ‘An emotionally damaged son who still answers your calls.’ Okay, here’s my "Joke Poo" version: Joke Poo: The Intern’s Burden My boss told me my performance was slipping lately. I…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • Girlfriend asked if she was fat so I proved my love in the most literal way
  • A blonde is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet
  • What’s the scariest thing a gun toting, pegging enthusiast, broke ass girlfriend can say to you?
  • Yo mama’s so fat… whenever she went to the circus…
  • What’s the difference between a guy at a gay bar, a Type 2 diabetic, and a job applicant at a construction site?
  • Patient goes to doctor for test results.
  • A farmer was selling apple seeds that were supposed to make you smarter.
  • A man walks into a bar and orders a whiskey. He takes it outside to enjoy on the bench.
  • Two old friends run into each other on the street.
  • The burley gates of heaven
  • Did you hear about the price of chimneys these days?!
  • The Captain’s Red Shirt
  • Little Johnny’s neighbor
  • Horse
  • Your momma’s so fat…
  • I saw a dwarf climbing down a rope from a prison rooftop.
  • A Jewish woman came to her rabi, visibly upset.
  • Teacher asks Billy a math question
  • I find people can be so judgemental these days….
  • The butcher shop
  • September is Alzheimer’s awareness month
  • I saw a bison in the gym doing a workout the other day….
  • A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt.
  • Mexican Mayonnaise
  • I hate charging my electric car.
  • One day I called home and my kid answered. I asked where’s mom?
  • An old man comes to confession and says to the priest:
  • A Knock Knock Joke
  • What’s common between a testicular joke and testicular cancer?
  • A guy walks in a store looking to buy some beer
  • One afternoon, a teenage couple was on a hike in the woods.
  • Wish me luck, everyone! I have to meet with some people working at my bank in a few minutes. If all goes well I’ll pay off every debt I have, and still have enough to retire early.
  • A penguin was driving through a small town when his car broke down…
  • Not all construction tasks are equally enjoyable.
  • In a carpenter’s workshop, one apprentice makes a bet that he can recognize any type of wood just by its smell. They blindfold him and hand him the first board… the apprentice smells it confidently and says: “Oak!”
  • I was admitted into the hospital and as I settled into my bed, I overheard my “roommate” using the speakerphone to order breakfast from the cafeteria
  • My mom went on vacation to Florida
  • School year is like pregnancy.
  • A man visits his lawyer
  • A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer.
  • Election results are like group project grades
  • A librarian is having a discussion with a cobra…
  • Job interview question: Why ask for a high salary with no experience?
  • The other day I needed to pay a visit to a public toilet
  • A man doesn’t come home from work Friday, instead he spends the whole weekend out fishing with his buddies.
  • A hunter walks into a pub and says that he is the greatest hunter, he can recognize any game animal by its fur, and if they show him the wound, he can even tell which weapon killed it in exchange for a drink.
  • Guy : Doctor, my Girlfriend is pregnant but we always use protection and the rubber never broke. How is it possible?
  • (An original joke best read aloud) My friend got a job as one of those sushi girls. Y’know, where guys eat sushi off her naked.
  • What did the ghost of the Redditor say when looking at it’s own corpse?
  • What’s yellow and really hurts if it gets in your eye?

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