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Author: Joke Poo

A man walks into a bar and orders a drink. Then he notices there are pieces of meat nailed to the ceiling of the bar so he asks the barman what they are for. The barman replies, “If you can jump up and pull one of them down you get free beer all night. If you fail, you have to pay the bar $100.

Posted on September 3, 2025 by Joke Poo

The barman asks, "Do you want to have a go?" The man thinks about it for a minute before saying, “Nah, the steaks are too high!” Okay, here’s my “Joke Poo” version:…

A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender, “If I show you a wild trick, will you give me a free drink?”

Posted on September 3, 2025 by Joke Poo

The bartender shrugs, “Sure, why not?” The guy reaches into his pocket and pulls out… a tiny rat. Then out of the other pocket, he pulls a teeny-tiny piano. The rat stretches,…

A doctor, a priest, and an engineer are playing a round of golf behind a group that’s playing incredibly slow.

Posted on September 2, 2025 by Joke Poo

They're waiting on every shot, and getting more and more angry as the group in front of them is playing all over the course. When the marshal finally drives by they unload…

humans were too lazy to say ‘six’

Posted on September 2, 2025 by Joke Poo

so they shortened it to 'half a dozen' Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” based on the original: Title: Joke Poo Humans were too lazy to actually do any gardening,…

3 men are sentenced to death.

Posted on September 2, 2025 by Joke Poo

All of them are scheduled to be executed on the same day. The first man walks in the room and is told he has a choice, hanging or the electric chair. The…

It happened in Ireland

Posted on September 2, 2025 by Joke Poo

A guy just got back from Ireland and was telling an amazing story. “I was walking in a glen when I saw a leprechaun trapped under a rock. After I freed him,…

No divorce is ever really just one person’s fault. Usually the blame is a straight 50:50

Posted on September 2, 2025 by Joke Poo

between the ex-wife and the ex-mother-in-law. Okay, here’s my “Joke Poo” version: Joke Poo: Potty Parity No clogged toilet is ever really just one person’s fault. Usually the blame is a straight…

AI will never replace me.

Posted on September 2, 2025 by Joke Poo

Not because I am irreplaceable, but because my boss can’t even explain what they want in the first place Joke Poo: AI will never write my code. Not because my logic is…

What does a cannibal call a group of epileptics covered in Italian dressing?

Posted on September 2, 2025 by Joke Poo

Seizure salad. Joke Poo: What does a dog groomer call a group of dogs covered in glitter glue? Shine Tzu salad. Alright, let’s dissect this “Seizure Salad” joke. Analysis: Core Pun: The…

The AI man

Posted on September 2, 2025 by Joke Poo

A blonde city girl named Amy, marries a Colarado rancher.  One morning, on his way out to check on the cows, the rancher says to Amy. “The insemination man is coming over…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • An elderly Jewish man crashes his car into a tree. The paramedics arrive and use the jaws of life to extract him from the vehicle. They then put him on a stretcher, loosen his clothing to facilitate breathing, and cover him with a blanket.
  • “Push harder”, I shouted at my wife while she was in labor.
  • Two Irishmen were sitting at a pub having a pint, watching the brothel across the street.
  • After landing my new job as a Walmart greeter — a great gig for many retirees — I lasted less than a day.
  • How can you tell it isn’t Halloween yet?
  • I was chilling on the couch before work
  • One Hot Summer Day…
  • Another man goes to another doctor
  • Purple is my favorite color…
  • The punchline is the name of the site you are on.
  • Why do ghosts like to take the elevator?
  • A man goes to the doctor
  • Camel Brand Cigarettes
  • Do you ever wake up, kiss the person sleeping beside you and feel happy that you are alive?
  • A blonde goes ice fishing
  • A 60 Year billionaire marries a hot 25 Years old girl
  • A sheepdog returns to his farmer and says, “All right, I’ve got your 70 sheep back in the east pen.”
  • The Robot Interview
  • A man goes to a doctor
  • I shot someone with a starting gun the other day.
  • A new Navy recruit starts his first day on a submarine.
  • A married man spots a gorgeous woman in the supermarket and says, “Excuse me, I’ve lost my wife somewhere in these aisles… would you mind chatting with me for a bit?”
  • A young man walks into a pharmacy and asks for condoms…
  • An old lady goes to the doctor and says ‘doc, I can’t stop farting. They’re silent with no smell, but I’ve let out 20 in the past 5 minutes sitting here’
  • Girlfriend asked if she was fat so I proved my love in the most literal way
  • A blonde is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet
  • What’s the scariest thing a gun toting, pegging enthusiast, broke ass girlfriend can say to you?
  • Yo mama’s so fat… whenever she went to the circus…
  • What’s the difference between a guy at a gay bar, a Type 2 diabetic, and a job applicant at a construction site?
  • Patient goes to doctor for test results.
  • A farmer was selling apple seeds that were supposed to make you smarter.
  • A man walks into a bar and orders a whiskey. He takes it outside to enjoy on the bench.
  • Two old friends run into each other on the street.
  • The burley gates of heaven
  • Did you hear about the price of chimneys these days?!
  • The Captain’s Red Shirt
  • Little Johnny’s neighbor
  • Horse
  • Your momma’s so fat…
  • I saw a dwarf climbing down a rope from a prison rooftop.
  • A Jewish woman came to her rabi, visibly upset.
  • Teacher asks Billy a math question
  • I find people can be so judgemental these days….
  • The butcher shop
  • September is Alzheimer’s awareness month
  • I saw a bison in the gym doing a workout the other day….
  • A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt.
  • Mexican Mayonnaise
  • I hate charging my electric car.
  • One day I called home and my kid answered. I asked where’s mom?

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