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Author: Joke Poo

There once was a man from Madras

Posted on September 2, 2025 by Joke Poo

Whose balls were constructed of brass. They jangled around, With a thunderous sound, And lightning shot out of his ass. Joke Poo: Title: There Once Was a Gnome from Nome There once…

Years ago, my wife would get all hot and bothered at the sight of me.

Posted on September 2, 2025 by Joke Poo

Now she's just bothered (I just made this up. Let me know if someone beat me to it) Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” based on the original, titled “Board…

My daughter said she wants to get rich and famous quick.

Posted on September 2, 2025 by Joke Poo

I told her, "Rome wasn't built in a day… you gotta work at night." Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” based on your prompt: Joke Poo: The Compost King My…

Pirate Captain

Posted on September 2, 2025 by Joke Poo

The one-eyed captain of a pirate ship attacks a brightly lit cargo ship at night. As soon as they reach the ship, the pirates immediately start jumping across. The first shot is…

Strip Club

Posted on September 2, 2025 by Joke Poo

A tourist, for the first time in his life abroad, goes into a strip club. He watches the show where beautiful women are dancing on stage, and suddenly he spits on the…

Your vehicle is heading towards either a kid or an old man… what do you hit?

Posted on September 2, 2025 by Joke Poo

The brakes of course Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” version: Joke Poo: The Space Budget Your spaceship is hurtling towards either a crucial life-support system or a funding request…

Long ago and far away, in a remote shtetel…

Posted on September 2, 2025 by Joke Poo

A young shlemiel was having breakfast, but after having smeared goosefat on his bread, he accidentally jogged it with his elbow, and it fell to the floor. Miraculously, it landed goosefat side…

Last year I joined a group for anti-social people.

Posted on September 1, 2025 by Joke Poo

We haven't meet yet. Okay, here’s my attempt: Joke Poo: Last Year I Joined a Club for Procrastinators We’ll schedule our first meeting eventually. Alright, let’s dissect this humorous little nugget: Joke…

I just got a phone call from a representative from Google.

Posted on September 1, 2025 by Joke Poo

"We're campaigning to get people to sign an on-line petition supporting our company tax arrangements in light of the government's plans for an investigation." "You can f*ck right off," I told him….

Guy at the checkout in a grocery store was asked, “Would you like your milk in a bag?”

Posted on September 1, 2025 by Joke Poo

"No" he replied. "Please leave it in the jug." Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” based on the grocery store milk joke: Joke Poo: The Software Update A tech support…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • My wife and I were discussing names for our newborn son when she asked if we could name him after her father.
  • What do you call a group of crows that are one short of a flock?
  • Sister Mary sat across the table from the mother superior.
  • Max and Pete are getting a haircut and shave at a barbershop.
  • An elderly Jewish man crashes his car into a tree. The paramedics arrive and use the jaws of life to extract him from the vehicle. They then put him on a stretcher, loosen his clothing to facilitate breathing, and cover him with a blanket.
  • “Push harder”, I shouted at my wife while she was in labor.
  • Two Irishmen were sitting at a pub having a pint, watching the brothel across the street.
  • After landing my new job as a Walmart greeter — a great gig for many retirees — I lasted less than a day.
  • How can you tell it isn’t Halloween yet?
  • I was chilling on the couch before work
  • One Hot Summer Day…
  • Another man goes to another doctor
  • Purple is my favorite color…
  • The punchline is the name of the site you are on.
  • Why do ghosts like to take the elevator?
  • A man goes to the doctor
  • Camel Brand Cigarettes
  • Do you ever wake up, kiss the person sleeping beside you and feel happy that you are alive?
  • A blonde goes ice fishing
  • A 60 Year billionaire marries a hot 25 Years old girl
  • A sheepdog returns to his farmer and says, “All right, I’ve got your 70 sheep back in the east pen.”
  • The Robot Interview
  • A man goes to a doctor
  • I shot someone with a starting gun the other day.
  • A new Navy recruit starts his first day on a submarine.
  • A married man spots a gorgeous woman in the supermarket and says, “Excuse me, I’ve lost my wife somewhere in these aisles… would you mind chatting with me for a bit?”
  • A young man walks into a pharmacy and asks for condoms…
  • An old lady goes to the doctor and says ‘doc, I can’t stop farting. They’re silent with no smell, but I’ve let out 20 in the past 5 minutes sitting here’
  • Girlfriend asked if she was fat so I proved my love in the most literal way
  • A blonde is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet
  • What’s the scariest thing a gun toting, pegging enthusiast, broke ass girlfriend can say to you?
  • Yo mama’s so fat… whenever she went to the circus…
  • What’s the difference between a guy at a gay bar, a Type 2 diabetic, and a job applicant at a construction site?
  • Patient goes to doctor for test results.
  • A farmer was selling apple seeds that were supposed to make you smarter.
  • A man walks into a bar and orders a whiskey. He takes it outside to enjoy on the bench.
  • Two old friends run into each other on the street.
  • The burley gates of heaven
  • Did you hear about the price of chimneys these days?!
  • The Captain’s Red Shirt
  • Little Johnny’s neighbor
  • Horse
  • Your momma’s so fat…
  • I saw a dwarf climbing down a rope from a prison rooftop.
  • A Jewish woman came to her rabi, visibly upset.
  • Teacher asks Billy a math question
  • I find people can be so judgemental these days….
  • The butcher shop
  • September is Alzheimer’s awareness month
  • I saw a bison in the gym doing a workout the other day….

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