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Author: Joke Poo

I just got a phone call from a representative from Google.

Posted on September 1, 2025 by Joke Poo

"We're campaigning to get people to sign an on-line petition supporting our company tax arrangements in light of the government's plans for an investigation." "You can f*ck right off," I told him….

Guy at the checkout in a grocery store was asked, “Would you like your milk in a bag?”

Posted on September 1, 2025 by Joke Poo

"No" he replied. "Please leave it in the jug." Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” based on the grocery store milk joke: Joke Poo: The Software Update A tech support…

A man is returning from a holiday

Posted on September 1, 2025 by Joke Poo

As he goes through customs, the officer asks him what's in his two big bags. "Mobile phones," the man replies. The officer opens the bags, and sure enough, both are packed with…

After spending the night at a hotel with a prostitute, a politician takes three $100 bills out of his wallet and places them on the dresser.

Posted on September 1, 2025 by Joke Poo

"Thanks," says the hooker, "but I only charge 20 bucks." "Twenty bucks for the whole night?" the politician says. "There's no way you can make a living on that." "Oh, don't worry,"…

What do you call a cow that got into the marijuana garden?

Posted on September 1, 2025 by Joke Poo

Highland cattle. Okay, here’s my “Joke Poo” version: Joke Poo: What do you call a snail that accidentally slimed its way onto a postage stamp? Snail Mail! Alright, let’s break down this…

I just found out I am telepathic.

Posted on September 1, 2025 by Joke Poo

Let me explain. Now I know what your thinking… Original Joke: I just found out I am telepathic. Let me explain. Now I know what your thinking… Joke Poo: I Just Found…

Bubba is back

Posted on September 1, 2025 by Joke Poo

The high school football coach saw Bubba, the 6'7" 240lb incoming freshmen walking across the cafeteria. Excitedly he approached the youth, "Welcome to school, lad! We need young men like you on…

My friend gave me a math question on mars.

Posted on September 1, 2025 by Joke Poo

Me and my buddy Fred was working in the Mars Complex on Mars. It was constructed from 10 bases/platforms all connected across the great Mars Plains. One day, he asked me a…

My wife asked me to bake some flatbread today, a little apprehensively.

Posted on September 1, 2025 by Joke Poo

She expected a fight, but it was actually a naan-issue. Original Joke: My wife asked me to bake some flatbread today, a little apprehensively. She expected a fight, but it was actually…

A man saw a sign outside a pet shop: “Magic Vulture for Sale.”

Posted on September 1, 2025 by Joke Poo

Intrigued, he went inside and asked about the bird. "This vulture has incredible powers," the salesman explained. "Take it shopping anywhere, and you'll immediately get 90% off everything!" "Amazing! How much does…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • What is a landlord’s favorite kind of tea?
  • Fun puns.
  • My wife and I were discussing names for our newborn son when she asked if we could name him after her father.
  • What do you call a group of crows that are one short of a flock?
  • Sister Mary sat across the table from the mother superior.
  • Max and Pete are getting a haircut and shave at a barbershop.
  • An elderly Jewish man crashes his car into a tree. The paramedics arrive and use the jaws of life to extract him from the vehicle. They then put him on a stretcher, loosen his clothing to facilitate breathing, and cover him with a blanket.
  • “Push harder”, I shouted at my wife while she was in labor.
  • Two Irishmen were sitting at a pub having a pint, watching the brothel across the street.
  • After landing my new job as a Walmart greeter — a great gig for many retirees — I lasted less than a day.
  • How can you tell it isn’t Halloween yet?
  • I was chilling on the couch before work
  • One Hot Summer Day…
  • Another man goes to another doctor
  • Purple is my favorite color…
  • The punchline is the name of the site you are on.
  • Why do ghosts like to take the elevator?
  • A man goes to the doctor
  • Camel Brand Cigarettes
  • Do you ever wake up, kiss the person sleeping beside you and feel happy that you are alive?
  • A blonde goes ice fishing
  • A 60 Year billionaire marries a hot 25 Years old girl
  • A sheepdog returns to his farmer and says, “All right, I’ve got your 70 sheep back in the east pen.”
  • The Robot Interview
  • A man goes to a doctor
  • I shot someone with a starting gun the other day.
  • A new Navy recruit starts his first day on a submarine.
  • A married man spots a gorgeous woman in the supermarket and says, “Excuse me, I’ve lost my wife somewhere in these aisles… would you mind chatting with me for a bit?”
  • A young man walks into a pharmacy and asks for condoms…
  • An old lady goes to the doctor and says ‘doc, I can’t stop farting. They’re silent with no smell, but I’ve let out 20 in the past 5 minutes sitting here’
  • Girlfriend asked if she was fat so I proved my love in the most literal way
  • A blonde is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet
  • What’s the scariest thing a gun toting, pegging enthusiast, broke ass girlfriend can say to you?
  • Yo mama’s so fat… whenever she went to the circus…
  • What’s the difference between a guy at a gay bar, a Type 2 diabetic, and a job applicant at a construction site?
  • Patient goes to doctor for test results.
  • A farmer was selling apple seeds that were supposed to make you smarter.
  • A man walks into a bar and orders a whiskey. He takes it outside to enjoy on the bench.
  • Two old friends run into each other on the street.
  • The burley gates of heaven
  • Did you hear about the price of chimneys these days?!
  • The Captain’s Red Shirt
  • Little Johnny’s neighbor
  • Horse
  • Your momma’s so fat…
  • I saw a dwarf climbing down a rope from a prison rooftop.
  • A Jewish woman came to her rabi, visibly upset.
  • Teacher asks Billy a math question
  • I find people can be so judgemental these days….
  • The butcher shop

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