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Author: Joke Poo

Wife’s note to husband:

Posted on August 31, 2025 by Joke Poo

Hi, Sorry about the argument last night. I have to work late tonight. Dinner is on the stove, You only have to light it. The gas is already turned on. XX Okay,…

Wife opens letter from the hospital and shows her husband: Why am I so unlucky? First I get diagnosed as being dyslexic, and now they are saying I’ve got tiny tits.

Posted on August 31, 2025 by Joke Poo

Husband: Tinnitus, you've got tinnitus! Joke Poo: The Doggy Dilemma Original Joke (for reference): Wife opens letter from the hospital and shows her husband: Why am I so unlucky? First I get…

A new Navy recruit has his first day on the submarine… ( guys this is back )

Posted on August 31, 2025 by Joke Poo

He speaks with the officer, who assigns him his post. "Go stand at the periscope entry-way, and make sure no unauthorized personnel touch the periscope." The recruit follows orders, and stands by…

After living in the remote wilderness of Kentucky all his life, an old codger decided it was time to visit the big city. In one of the city’s stores, he picked up a mirror and looked at it. Not knowing what it was, he said, “How about that! Here’s a picture of my daddy.”

Posted on August 31, 2025 by Joke Poo

He bought the "picture," but on the way home remembered that his wife, Lizzy, didn't much like his father. So he hung it in the barn, and every morning before leaving for…

What do a pirate and a racist have in common?

Posted on August 31, 2025 by Joke Poo

They both love a hard Arrrrr! Joke Poo: What do a plumber and a forgetful pirate have in common? They both keep saying “I left my tool in the other ship!” Alright,…

What did the squirrel gave his partner for Valentine’s?

Posted on August 31, 2025 by Joke Poo

Chest-nuts Joke Poo: What did the plumber give his sweetie for Valentine’s? Rooter-mance! Alright, let’s break down this nutty joke! Analysis: Setup: “What did the squirrel give his partner for Valentine’s?” This…

I know a couple who buys their weed together.

Posted on August 31, 2025 by Joke Poo

They have joint custody. Joke Poo: Doggy Doo-doo I know a couple who walks their dogs together. They have joint puppetry. Alright, let’s break down this joke and see if we can…

Martin Freeman and Mackenzie Crook are chatting, catching up on their lives after The Office.

Posted on August 31, 2025 by Joke Poo

Mackenzie: But I think the most fun I ever had filming was for Pirates of the Caribbean. Martin: Oh, I can imagine. Hanging out with Johhny Depp every day. Hanging out with…

My girlfriend borrowed $100 from me. After 3years, when we separated, she returned exactly $100.

Posted on August 31, 2025 by Joke Poo

I lost Interest in that relationship. Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” based on your provided joke: Joke Poo: Compost Crisis My neighbor borrowed a bag of my prize-winning compost…

Roses are dead

Posted on August 31, 2025 by Joke Poo

The grass is blue. I’m a bad gardener. And suck with rhymes as well. Okay, here’s my “Joke Poo” version of the roses joke: Joke Poo: Computers The code compiles, The server’s…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • Raised in a Barn
  • Eucalyptus
  • I was visiting my girlfriend the other night…
  • Cross-eyed horse
  • The woman and her blonde friend decided to take a fishing trip.
  • A wife, pissed off that her husband was late again, wrote a dramatic note: I’ve had enough. I’m leaving you. Don’t try to find me.
  • A man calls the police
  • What is a landlord’s favorite kind of tea?
  • Fun puns.
  • My wife and I were discussing names for our newborn son when she asked if we could name him after her father.
  • What do you call a group of crows that are one short of a flock?
  • Sister Mary sat across the table from the mother superior.
  • Max and Pete are getting a haircut and shave at a barbershop.
  • An elderly Jewish man crashes his car into a tree. The paramedics arrive and use the jaws of life to extract him from the vehicle. They then put him on a stretcher, loosen his clothing to facilitate breathing, and cover him with a blanket.
  • “Push harder”, I shouted at my wife while she was in labor.
  • Two Irishmen were sitting at a pub having a pint, watching the brothel across the street.
  • After landing my new job as a Walmart greeter — a great gig for many retirees — I lasted less than a day.
  • How can you tell it isn’t Halloween yet?
  • I was chilling on the couch before work
  • One Hot Summer Day…
  • Another man goes to another doctor
  • Purple is my favorite color…
  • The punchline is the name of the site you are on.
  • Why do ghosts like to take the elevator?
  • A man goes to the doctor
  • Camel Brand Cigarettes
  • Do you ever wake up, kiss the person sleeping beside you and feel happy that you are alive?
  • A blonde goes ice fishing
  • A 60 Year billionaire marries a hot 25 Years old girl
  • A sheepdog returns to his farmer and says, “All right, I’ve got your 70 sheep back in the east pen.”
  • The Robot Interview
  • A man goes to a doctor
  • I shot someone with a starting gun the other day.
  • A new Navy recruit starts his first day on a submarine.
  • A married man spots a gorgeous woman in the supermarket and says, “Excuse me, I’ve lost my wife somewhere in these aisles… would you mind chatting with me for a bit?”
  • A young man walks into a pharmacy and asks for condoms…
  • An old lady goes to the doctor and says ‘doc, I can’t stop farting. They’re silent with no smell, but I’ve let out 20 in the past 5 minutes sitting here’
  • Girlfriend asked if she was fat so I proved my love in the most literal way
  • A blonde is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet
  • What’s the scariest thing a gun toting, pegging enthusiast, broke ass girlfriend can say to you?
  • Yo mama’s so fat… whenever she went to the circus…
  • What’s the difference between a guy at a gay bar, a Type 2 diabetic, and a job applicant at a construction site?
  • Patient goes to doctor for test results.
  • A farmer was selling apple seeds that were supposed to make you smarter.
  • A man walks into a bar and orders a whiskey. He takes it outside to enjoy on the bench.
  • Two old friends run into each other on the street.
  • The burley gates of heaven
  • Did you hear about the price of chimneys these days?!
  • The Captain’s Red Shirt
  • Little Johnny’s neighbor

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