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Author: Joke Poo

I was using a urinal when …

Posted on June 10, 2025 by Joke Poo

a midget walked up and began using the urinal next to me. From the corner of my eye I thought I saw him look at me. I turned my head to find…

I can’t believe how stupid I was for having relationships with women from Albania, China, Kyrgyzstan, Montenegro, Morocco, Tunisia, Turkiye and Vietnam.

Posted on June 10, 2025 by Joke Poo

Honestly, there were so many red flags. Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo" based on the original, titled "Joke Poo": Joke Poo: I can’t believe how gullible I was, investing…

A guy wanted a chaste woman and a virgin

Posted on June 9, 2025 by Joke Poo

A guy wanted a chaste woman and a virgin. So he went looking for one such. To test this, he would lower his pants and show his penis. Than he would ask:…

A sexually active woman tells her plastic surgeon that she wanted her vaginal lips reduced in size because they were too loose and floppy.

Posted on June 9, 2025 by Joke Poo

Out of embarrassment she insisted that the surgery be kept a secret and the surgeon agreed. Awakening from the anesthesia after the surgery she found three roses carefully placed beside her on…

A small boy was performing in a school play

Posted on June 9, 2025 by Joke Poo

when he suddenly fell through a large crack in the floorboards. The audience gasped, but the boy’s mother calmly turned to her friend and said: “Don’t worry, it’s just a stage he’s…

A thesaurus walks into a bar…

Posted on June 9, 2025 by Joke Poo

A thesaurus strolls into a bar. A thesaurus ambles into a bar. A thesaurus strides into a bar. A thesaurus steps into a bar. A thesaurus jogs into a bar. A thesaurus…

Dave Grohl went to the Olive Garden

Posted on June 9, 2025 by Joke Poo

He got a plate full of parmesan because they promised not to stop when he said "when". Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo" version of the Dave Grohl Olive Garden…

30 years

Posted on June 9, 2025 by Joke Poo

Grandfather and grandson are in the park, when a very good looking woman walks by, the grandson says, Grandpa, I bet when you see a woman like that, you wish you were…

I saw my glamorous neighbour with her newly tricked-out Ford van and I called out to congratulate her on the ride and check we were still meeting up after the weekend.

Posted on June 9, 2025 by Joke Poo

What I actually said was "Sick Transit, Gloria! Monday?" Joke Poo: Unfiltered I saw my elderly uncle, Harold, struggling with his brand-new, state-of-the-art composting toilet. I wanted to offer some encouragement and…

Man goes to the doctor for his test results

Posted on June 9, 2025 by Joke Poo

Doctor: “I’m sorry, sir. It doesn’t look good. I’m afraid you only have five longer to live.“ Man: “5 what? Months? Years? “ Doctor: “ 4… 3… 2… 1…” Joke Poo: The…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • The professor of medicine is teaching the students about dissection
  • Am I the first person you have ever slept with?
  • Describe your love life in two words.
  • Cop understood the assignment.
  • Doctor, help me. I’m addicted to buying yachts. Is there something you can give me for it?
  • Teacher and her 3 boy students:
  • The woman I’m sleeping with keeps telling me I don’t need to be intimidated by the size of her ex’s dick
  • As we drove past some black and white cows my dad said “wow, it must be really cold out there…
  • Last year I bought my wife an artificial leg for Christmas…
  • I’m starting a research project into bestiality
  • I’m over 40 years old and I’ve never used essential oils…
  • I don’t know why everyone thinks of mobsters as bad guys.
  • Found out last night that I’m both gay and dyslexic.
  • I once dated a girl who was actually a ghost.
  • Satan arrived to welcome a new damned soul to hell. “Congratulations!” he said. “You wasted your entire pitiful life!”
  • A boy found a magic lamp one day and out came a genie who exclaimed “I shall grant a single wish that you desire!”
  • Why does Dracula always bite his victims in the neck?
  • A duck wandered onto my property
  • Not to brag, but I finished a puzzle under a week and…
  • Old lady at nursing home
  • Overheard an angry man with a lisp say “bithnith”.
  • I heard someone combined a bee with a pineapple.
  • I needed to buy toilet paper at the store and someone told me why are you buying so much toilet paper? I responded
  • I have an entry level job with thousands of people below me
  • Who puts the “P” in R-E-S-P-E-C-T?
  • The rescue team found a clue about a crashed airplane
  • “Why do you think you’d be a good waiter?”
  • I just took a great hiking class
  • Serious question
  • The Scottish definition of a gentleman…
  • I replaced my wife’s lip balm with a glue stick
  • A guy decides to go to confession for the first time in many years. He enters the confessional, and there’s a shelf with cigars, brandy, and chocolate.
  • In WW2 a General had an idea on how to cheer the troops up
  • A man goes in for a checkup and afterwards the doctor comes in and somberly tells him that his kidneys are failing.
  • World used to be better, we could have 1 steak every week, only with minimum wage
  • What works faster than a calculator?
  • A man dies and goes to hell
  • I went to see my doctor, he asked me to provide a stool sample.
  • I just tripped over a box of Kleenex. Ow!
  • Sheryl Crow and Russell Crowe walk into a bar.
  • A man was out on the golf course one sunny day when he realized he was completely lost.
  • In England, when you turn 100, you get a royal letter from the King or Queen.
  • A man dies and ends up in hell.
  • What do you get when you goose a ghost?
  • Cemetery cold night
  • What do you call a roasted doll?
  • A man walks into a pharmacy
  • A couple gets married
  • If Waldo turned into a monster which one would he turn into?
  • How do you know if a ghost has been using your bathroom?

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