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Author: Joke Poo

The CIA advertises for an assassin and three applicants, Tom, Dick and Harry, are chosen for a final test

Posted on June 7, 2025 by Joke Poo

Tom is given a gun and taken to a door. “Inside this room,” the CIA agent says, “you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill her!” Tom replies, “You can’t…

What did the pickle say to the cucumber?

Posted on June 7, 2025 by Joke Poo

Come on in, the water’s brine. Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo" based on the pickle joke: Joke Poo: The Email’s Lament What did the unread email say to the…

A young class were enjoying the first day of first grade.

Posted on June 7, 2025 by Joke Poo

The teacher said: “Now that we’re all grown up, we aren’t going to use baby talk any more. Instead we’re going to use grown-up words. Now who would like to start by…

At the hospital…

Posted on June 7, 2025 by Joke Poo

A blonde runs inside an emergency room screaming in panic: “Doctor, doctor, how is he?” The doctor says: “I’m afraid I’ve got some bad news… He’s suffered a massive heart attack, three…

A woman is sitting at home, on the patio with her husband, drinking a glass of wine and she says, “I love you.”

Posted on June 7, 2025 by Joke Poo

He asks, "Is that you or the wine talking?" She replies, "It's me…talking to the wine." Joke Poo: The Compost Confession A gardener is kneeling in their vegetable patch, shoveling compost, when…

The perch problem

Posted on June 7, 2025 by Joke Poo

Man walks into a pet shop and sees a parrot for only $50. Standing next to the cage the man asks, "I wonder why he is so cheap?" "Because I am defective,"…

In Russia, two guys are queuing to buy potatoes

Posted on June 7, 2025 by Joke Poo

Two guys are queuing in front of a grocery store to buy some potatoes. It's been hours, queue's moving at a snails pace. One of them snaps out, "that's it, I've had…

There’s an old joke about the difference between American and Russian corruption.

Posted on June 7, 2025 by Joke Poo

An American legislator hosts a Russian legislator at his very nice, upscale home on a lake. The Russian is impressed and asks him how he affords this on a legislator's salary. The…

Doctor’s advice for premature ejaculation didn’t go as planned

Posted on June 7, 2025 by Joke Poo

guy goes to the doctor and says: “Doc, I’ve got a problem. I finish way too fast during sex. I can't enjoy it at all.” The doctor nods and says, “Okay… take…

A man wakes up hungover in an alley with his pants off, and notices two colored rings painted on this dick, one brown, one red

Posted on June 7, 2025 by Joke Poo

He freaks out and goes to see a doctor to find out what the rings are. The doctor examines them and says "I have good news and bad news. Which do you…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • Found out last night that I’m both gay and dyslexic.
  • I once dated a girl who was actually a ghost.
  • Satan arrived to welcome a new damned soul to hell. “Congratulations!” he said. “You wasted your entire pitiful life!”
  • A boy found a magic lamp one day and out came a genie who exclaimed “I shall grant a single wish that you desire!”
  • Why does Dracula always bite his victims in the neck?
  • A duck wandered onto my property
  • Not to brag, but I finished a puzzle under a week and…
  • Old lady at nursing home
  • Overheard an angry man with a lisp say “bithnith”.
  • I heard someone combined a bee with a pineapple.
  • I needed to buy toilet paper at the store and someone told me why are you buying so much toilet paper? I responded
  • I have an entry level job with thousands of people below me
  • Who puts the “P” in R-E-S-P-E-C-T?
  • The rescue team found a clue about a crashed airplane
  • “Why do you think you’d be a good waiter?”
  • I just took a great hiking class
  • Serious question
  • The Scottish definition of a gentleman…
  • I replaced my wife’s lip balm with a glue stick
  • A guy decides to go to confession for the first time in many years. He enters the confessional, and there’s a shelf with cigars, brandy, and chocolate.
  • In WW2 a General had an idea on how to cheer the troops up
  • A man goes in for a checkup and afterwards the doctor comes in and somberly tells him that his kidneys are failing.
  • World used to be better, we could have 1 steak every week, only with minimum wage
  • What works faster than a calculator?
  • A man dies and goes to hell
  • I went to see my doctor, he asked me to provide a stool sample.
  • I just tripped over a box of Kleenex. Ow!
  • Sheryl Crow and Russell Crowe walk into a bar.
  • A man was out on the golf course one sunny day when he realized he was completely lost.
  • In England, when you turn 100, you get a royal letter from the King or Queen.
  • A man dies and ends up in hell.
  • What do you get when you goose a ghost?
  • Cemetery cold night
  • What do you call a roasted doll?
  • A man walks into a pharmacy
  • A couple gets married
  • If Waldo turned into a monster which one would he turn into?
  • How do you know if a ghost has been using your bathroom?
  • Why does everyone know the Muffin Man but not the Muffin Woman?
  • A shy Italian girl gets married
  • a stoner, a jedi and emergency room surgeon walk into a bar
  • I bought a Hustler magazine and boy was I disappointed
  • What’s a debt collector’s favourite herb?
  • What’s the most negative month of the year?
  • A Man Is Invited To A Christmas Fancy Dress Party
  • You can’t trust people on Halloween anymore!
  • What did the Catholic priest say to his disciple?
  • The other day an old guy called about an Australian stick.
  • The Queen, the Pope and Nelson Mandela walk into a bar
  • Good Christians should never use euphemisms for the toilet

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