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Author: Joke Poo

My son told me the other day that green sea turtles are no longer endangered.

Posted on October 22, 2025 by Joke Poo

I said: “Well, there is a lesson there son. We can accomplish incredible things with determination, hard work and a little paint”. Joke Poo: My daughter told me the other day that…

I opened my water bill and electric bill at the same time today.

Posted on October 22, 2025 by Joke Poo

I was shocked! Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” of that original joke: Joke Poo: I Checked My Colonoscopy Results and My Lottery Ticket I checked my colonoscopy results and…

An elderly priest dies and is welcomed at the Pearly Gates by St Peter.

Posted on October 22, 2025 by Joke Poo

"Father Mulgrew, we've been expecting you," says the saint. "Please go with this angel. We've got you a lovely little retirement shack on the edge of the woods. It's a humble little…

Grammar Joke: What’s the difference between, “My parents’ house.” and “My parent’s house.”

Posted on October 22, 2025 by Joke Poo

My dad just died. Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” riffing on the Grammar Joke: Joke Poo: Emoji Joke What’s the difference between “Sending you ❤️❤️” and “Sending you ❤️”?…

What happened before the Big Bang?

Posted on October 22, 2025 by Joke Poo

God standing with his fingers in his ears. Okay, here’s my attempt: Joke Poo: What happened before the Great Flush? The Toilet standing with its flapper open, humming to itself. Okay, let’s…

Back in high school, my math teacher was missing a thumb

Posted on October 22, 2025 by Joke Poo

Every time he wrote on the chalkboard, we couldn’t help but notice. Everyone was curious about how it had happened. One day I finally found the courage to ask him, ‘Sir, how’d…

Why doesn’t Wonder Woman cry?

Posted on October 22, 2025 by Joke Poo

Because it’ll ruin Themyscira. Okay, here’s my “Joke Poo” version of the Wonder Woman joke: Joke Poo: Why Doesn’t Aquaman Complain About Bad Restaurant Service? Because he doesn’t want to make a…

I’ve started selling second hand watches on eBay

Posted on October 22, 2025 by Joke Poo

The number of complaints I've had, asking where the minute and hour hands are… Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” based on your watch joke, titled “Used Typewriters Online”: Title:…

What did the concerned mother shark tell her vegetarian son, who went to Bali to reinvent himself?

Posted on October 22, 2025 by Joke Poo

"Eat prey, love." Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” version of that shark joke, titled “Emu-otional Support”: Title: Emu-otional Support Joke: What did the exasperated zookeeper say to the overly…

We used to have empires, run by emperors.

Posted on October 22, 2025 by Joke Poo

Then we had kingdoms, run by kings. Now we have countries, run by… Okay, here’s my attempt: Joke Poo: Corporate Climb We used to have small businesses, run by entrepreneurs. Then we…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • A farmer buys a new young rooster when his old rooster can’t “perform” anymore.
  • “Bear with me”
  • What’s the difference between a bull and a band that plays at weddings?
  • “Are you taking any medications?”
  • Training Day At The Gas Station
  • How many fruit flies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
  • So, a friend told me about a horror movie where if you get a phone call and don’t answer it, you die.
  • A young reporter went to a retirement home
  • A woman calls the cops about her neighbour.
  • My wife walks out of the shower, winks at me and says, “Honey, I shaved myself down there. Do you know what that means?”
  • Due to a recent surge in mining activities, the logistical network has been overwhelmed in my area.
  • Which movie actor also knows how to code?
  • Bridget Jones is to be celebrated with a new 200kg statue in London’s Leicester Square…
  • The legend of Uncle Marvo (the master of lightning wit, backchat and repartee)
  • Just watching Alien vs Predator…
  • Did you hear about the clown that caused a blackout?
  • Ever since my girlfriend got pregnant a lot has changed in my life
  • Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs visit the Vatican for a blessing.
  • Nowadays pennies taste horrible. Back in the day they used to taste almost like toothpaste to me…
  • A radiator is essentially a vital organ to a car, so it’s kinda weird that the town in the movie Cars is called “Radiator Springs”
  • How is Michael Jackson like Caviar?
  • I made a helpful suggestion about my wife’s donation bag
  • As a person with epilepsy what do i call an Ambulance?
  • I got complimented on my parking today
  • NASA is launching a satellite to say sorry to the aliens.
  • A physicist is walking past a building…
  • A mistress is like a grenade.
  • Sorry Alliens
  • The Skinny Lumberjack
  • What’s the difference between a manly lesbian and a really short guy who works in the meat department?
  • I was thinking about having dinner at a family style restaurant by myself.
  • I made a helpful suggestion about my wife’s donation bag
  • A family goes on vacation to the beach in southern Mexico.
  • What’s a popular 60s pop duo with many Muslim?
  • A man adopts a stray dog.
  • An alcoholic read an article on the dangers of drinking alcohol and decided it was finally time to quit…
  • The wife is calling her husband at work.
  • Sue went to the cemetery every day to water the flowers on the grave of her late husband, Bob.
  • A guy’s wife comes into the room and says to her husband, “What the hell are you doing? I thought you were going to fix the sink!”
  • What do you call a photo of an old person?
  • Why are math books always so stressed?
  • Nobody came to my cocktail party
  • I just ran into a guy quoting V for Vendetta. You know, the whole “remember, remember the fifth of November,” speech. And I could help but think…
  • I just bought a 5 foot tall flightless bird for $3
  • Wife says that I’m cheap
  • I just got accused of mansplaining!
  • We were desperate to fix our son’s failing math grade.
  • A couple, both 78, went to see a therapist.
  • What did the vampires mother say when he told her he wanted to marry a werewolf?
  • Being an alcoholic is gambling with your life.

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