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Author: Joke Poo

I tried to organise a hide and seek tournament…

Posted on August 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

I failed…it is really hard to find good players…. Joke Poo: Title: I tried to organise a competitive eating contest for picky eaters… I failed…the menu was just too limited. Alright, let’s…

My boss suspected his wife was cheating, so he told me to follow her and tape her for evidence. After my work was done, he asked how it went.

Posted on August 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

I told him, “It was tough at the start, but once she ran out of breath, it was easier to tape her to the chair.” Joke Poo: The Taxidermist My boss suspected…

I was having lunch with a female colleague when I saw my wife come in.

Posted on August 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

"It's my wife! I have to hide." I whispered. "Don't be silly, your wife can't possibly object to you having lunch with someone you work with" she said. "She can if she…

A son comes to his mother

Posted on August 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

Son: Mom, could you tell me the exact hour I was born? Mother: My boy, I do not approve of you dating this girl. Okay, here’s a new joke inspired by the…

I’ve invented a new golf ball that automatically goes into the hole when it gets within 4 inches

Posted on August 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

I must remember not to keep them in my back pocket Okay, here’s my “Joke Poo” version, playing on the original’s inconvenience of the invention: Joke Poo: Self-Watering Succulents I’ve invented a…

A Bus stops and two Italian Men get on.

Posted on August 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the…

Friend said he wants to cheat on his wife, Kate, with some girl named Edith.

Posted on August 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

I told him, "You can't have your Kate and Edith, too." Okay, here’s my “Joke Poo” version: Joke Poo: The Internship Friend said he wants to intern at both Google and Microsoft…

A group of Pharisees brings a woman caught in adultery to Jesus, ready to stone her.

Posted on August 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

Jesus steps forward and calmly says: —“Let whoever is without sin cast the first stone.” Everyone falls silent. Suddenly… THUD! A stone flies and hits the woman on the head. Jesus looks…

A husband is walking behind his wife and says, “Your arse is getting so big it looks like an old washing machine.” The wife keeps quiet and carries on walking. Bedtime comes around, and the husband starts feeling amorous.

Posted on August 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

The wife says, "I'm not starting the old washing machine for such a small load. You'll have to do it by hand!" Joke Poo: The Gardener’s Lament A gardener is admiring his…

Cowboy’s first time

Posted on August 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

A 21year-old Texas ranch hand was still a virgin, so he traveled to the city to see what he had been missing. He located a brothel and selected a lady to spend…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • An accountant, a lawyer, and a preacher were out hunting
  • If you’re American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you’re in the bathroom? European.
  • Eighty-year-old Bessie storms into the rec room at the retirement home, fist raised high.
  • Guy walks into a nice Italian restaurant after the lunch rush with his emotional support alligator
  • At the World Cup final, a man notices an empty seat next to him. He asks, “Who would miss the World Cup final?”
  • A guy tells his buddy, “My wife ran off with my best friend Mike yesterday.”
  • Still my favorite joke I ever made up. :)
  • We were enjoying warm drinks at the fall festival when my girlfriend’s dad pulled me aside and sternly asked what my intentions were with his daughter.
  • Did you hear about the Vulcan that got married and had children?
  • The farmer and the milking machine!
  • When two tampons walk down the street why don’t they say anything to each other?
  • A mom is putting her little boy to bed.
  • My favourite math joke
  • Little Johnny is playing in the yard when he gets a wood splinter in his hand…
  • A woman waits anxiously outside the ICU for news about her husband.
  • Three blokes were at the pub discussing what the fastest thing in the world is
  • An American politician once visited the USSR, and was given a tour of a Soviet automobile factory
  • A young Jewish man walks into an antique shop.
  • What do you call a line up at a Vietnamese restaurant?
  • Just had to take my 2 year old cousin’s shitty nappy off
  • We are the Dyslexic Borg.
  • The Girl with the Wooden Eye
  • Raised in a Barn
  • Eucalyptus
  • I was visiting my girlfriend the other night…
  • Cross-eyed horse
  • The woman and her blonde friend decided to take a fishing trip.
  • A wife, pissed off that her husband was late again, wrote a dramatic note: I’ve had enough. I’m leaving you. Don’t try to find me.
  • A man calls the police
  • What is a landlord’s favorite kind of tea?
  • Fun puns.
  • My wife and I were discussing names for our newborn son when she asked if we could name him after her father.
  • What do you call a group of crows that are one short of a flock?
  • Sister Mary sat across the table from the mother superior.
  • Max and Pete are getting a haircut and shave at a barbershop.
  • An elderly Jewish man crashes his car into a tree. The paramedics arrive and use the jaws of life to extract him from the vehicle. They then put him on a stretcher, loosen his clothing to facilitate breathing, and cover him with a blanket.
  • “Push harder”, I shouted at my wife while she was in labor.
  • Two Irishmen were sitting at a pub having a pint, watching the brothel across the street.
  • After landing my new job as a Walmart greeter — a great gig for many retirees — I lasted less than a day.
  • How can you tell it isn’t Halloween yet?
  • I was chilling on the couch before work
  • One Hot Summer Day…
  • Another man goes to another doctor
  • Purple is my favorite color…
  • The punchline is the name of the site you are on.
  • Why do ghosts like to take the elevator?
  • A man goes to the doctor
  • Camel Brand Cigarettes
  • Do you ever wake up, kiss the person sleeping beside you and feel happy that you are alive?
  • A blonde goes ice fishing

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