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Author: Joke Poo

A husband is walking behind his wife and says, “Your arse is getting so big it looks like an old washing machine.” The wife keeps quiet and carries on walking. Bedtime comes around, and the husband starts feeling amorous.

Posted on August 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

The wife says, "I'm not starting the old washing machine for such a small load. You'll have to do it by hand!" Joke Poo: The Gardener’s Lament A gardener is admiring his…

Cowboy’s first time

Posted on August 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

A 21year-old Texas ranch hand was still a virgin, so he traveled to the city to see what he had been missing. He located a brothel and selected a lady to spend…

Deficiency…

Posted on August 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

A noted psychiatrist was a guest at a blonde gathering, and his hostess naturally broached the subject in which the doctor was most at ease. "Would you mind telling me, Doctor," she…

Marriage

Posted on August 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

Did you hear that scientists have found the food that reduces a women’s sex drive? It’s called wedding cake! Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” based on your provided joke,…

My wife likes to twist my opportunities for fun into something else.

Posted on August 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

Earlier today my doctor said I can jerk off anytime I want. Later I'm telling my buddy about this and (of course) my wife has to interrupt. She says, "That's not what…

What borders on stupidity?

Posted on August 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

Canada and Mexico Okay, here’s my “Joke Poo,” riffing on the “What borders on stupidity?” joke: Joke Poo: What Smells of Regret? …Expired cheese and bad decisions. Alright, let’s break down this…

A friend asked me how I hoped to die someday. And I said I want to go peacefully in my sleep when I’m old, like my grandpa did.

Posted on August 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

Not screaming, like all the passengers in his car did Okay, here’s my attempt: Joke Poo: Regarding Retirement Plans My financial advisor asked me how I envisioned my retirement. I said I…

Do you like jokes about cocaine?

Posted on August 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

A good one liner usually makes me snort a little. Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” based on your cocaine joke: Joke Poo: Do you like jokes about composting? A…

Three roads are sat in the pub

Posted on August 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

The A road says ‘I’m the toughest here as I carry the most traffic’. The dual carriageway says ‘no way, I’m the toughest, I carry loads more traffic than you at a…

I got a motorcycle for my wife last week.

Posted on August 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

Best. Trade. Ever! Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” of your motorcycle joke: Joke Poo: I Got a New Robot Vacuum I got my dog a robot vacuum for his…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • A guy who lives in Boston hears there’s huge carp in the pond on the Common.
  • God said to Moses, “come forth, and receive eternal peace”…
  • An accountant, a lawyer, and a preacher were out hunting
  • If you’re American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you’re in the bathroom? European.
  • Eighty-year-old Bessie storms into the rec room at the retirement home, fist raised high.
  • Guy walks into a nice Italian restaurant after the lunch rush with his emotional support alligator
  • At the World Cup final, a man notices an empty seat next to him. He asks, “Who would miss the World Cup final?”
  • A guy tells his buddy, “My wife ran off with my best friend Mike yesterday.”
  • Still my favorite joke I ever made up. :)
  • We were enjoying warm drinks at the fall festival when my girlfriend’s dad pulled me aside and sternly asked what my intentions were with his daughter.
  • Did you hear about the Vulcan that got married and had children?
  • The farmer and the milking machine!
  • When two tampons walk down the street why don’t they say anything to each other?
  • A mom is putting her little boy to bed.
  • My favourite math joke
  • Little Johnny is playing in the yard when he gets a wood splinter in his hand…
  • A woman waits anxiously outside the ICU for news about her husband.
  • Three blokes were at the pub discussing what the fastest thing in the world is
  • An American politician once visited the USSR, and was given a tour of a Soviet automobile factory
  • A young Jewish man walks into an antique shop.
  • What do you call a line up at a Vietnamese restaurant?
  • Just had to take my 2 year old cousin’s shitty nappy off
  • We are the Dyslexic Borg.
  • The Girl with the Wooden Eye
  • Raised in a Barn
  • Eucalyptus
  • I was visiting my girlfriend the other night…
  • Cross-eyed horse
  • The woman and her blonde friend decided to take a fishing trip.
  • A wife, pissed off that her husband was late again, wrote a dramatic note: I’ve had enough. I’m leaving you. Don’t try to find me.
  • A man calls the police
  • What is a landlord’s favorite kind of tea?
  • Fun puns.
  • My wife and I were discussing names for our newborn son when she asked if we could name him after her father.
  • What do you call a group of crows that are one short of a flock?
  • Sister Mary sat across the table from the mother superior.
  • Max and Pete are getting a haircut and shave at a barbershop.
  • An elderly Jewish man crashes his car into a tree. The paramedics arrive and use the jaws of life to extract him from the vehicle. They then put him on a stretcher, loosen his clothing to facilitate breathing, and cover him with a blanket.
  • “Push harder”, I shouted at my wife while she was in labor.
  • Two Irishmen were sitting at a pub having a pint, watching the brothel across the street.
  • After landing my new job as a Walmart greeter — a great gig for many retirees — I lasted less than a day.
  • How can you tell it isn’t Halloween yet?
  • I was chilling on the couch before work
  • One Hot Summer Day…
  • Another man goes to another doctor
  • Purple is my favorite color…
  • The punchline is the name of the site you are on.
  • Why do ghosts like to take the elevator?
  • A man goes to the doctor
  • Camel Brand Cigarettes

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