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Author: Joke Poo

A man is standing on the curb, ready to cross the street.

Posted on August 27, 2025 by Joke Poo

A man is standing on the curb, ready to cross the street. As he steps down and starts to cross, a car comes screaming around the corner and heads straight at him….

A priest was telling his congregation about a Biblical tribe called the Samsonites.

Posted on August 27, 2025 by Joke Poo

"They were stranded in the desert with no food and no drink," the priest said, "but some rather nice luggage." Joke Poo: The AI’s Existential Dread An AI, tasked with writing a…

I think my wife is cheating on me.

Posted on August 27, 2025 by Joke Poo

I give her my whole paycheck and she says " that's Bills" Okay, here’s a “Joke Poo” riffing on your joke: Joke Poo: My Kid’s a Crypto Bro I think my kid’s…

Good ol’ #247, probably posted here few days ago.

Posted on August 27, 2025 by Joke Poo

"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Gestapo!* "Gestapo wh–" "VEE VILL ASK ZE QVESTIONS!!!" Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” based on the Gestapo joke: Joke Poo: Customer Service “Knock knock!” “Who’s…

Every doctor I see says the same thing . . .

Posted on August 27, 2025 by Joke Poo

Oh, you're nude already . . . Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” based on your prompt: Joke Poo: Every Plumber… Every plumber I call says the same thing… “Oh,…

What do you call a nose without a body?

Posted on August 27, 2025 by Joke Poo

Nobody nose Okay, here’s my “Joke Poo” based on your joke, aiming for a similar wordplay/pun-based humor: Joke Poo: What do you call a toilet that refuses to flush? …A stubborn loo….

Tried to go fishing with Tom Cruise the other day, but the lake was closed…..

Posted on August 27, 2025 by Joke Poo

fishin' impossible… Okay, here’s the “Joke Poo” version, riffing on the original: Joke Poo: Accounting Impossible Tried to do my taxes with John Travolta the other day, but my return got rejected……

Manchester city football club were scouting for new players…

Posted on August 27, 2025 by Joke Poo

Manchester city football club were looking for new blood and decided to send scouts to the war torn country of Afghanistan to find their new star. After a couple of weeks they…

I recently returned from a vacation in Australia, it’s nothing like what they say on the internet

Posted on August 27, 2025 by Joke Poo

There are absolutely no kangaroos, no beaches, they misspelled their own country's name on the signs and for some strange reason everyone spoke German. Edit Context: many years ago I read a…

Three patients go to a psychiatrist for an evaluation.

Posted on August 27, 2025 by Joke Poo

Three patients go to a psychiatrist for an evaluation. The doctor asks the first, “What’s3x3?” The patient says, “236.” The doctor notes this on his pad then asks the second patient, “What’s…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • The wife came back from buying her costume for a fancy dress party earlier.
  • Gator Show
  • Last night I dreamt I had one hand on the steering wheel of my car and with the other hand I was flipping pancakes
  • There was a little sapling out in the woods between an Oak and a Maple.
  • A guy who lives in Boston hears there’s huge carp in the pond on the Common.
  • God said to Moses, “come forth, and receive eternal peace”…
  • An accountant, a lawyer, and a preacher were out hunting
  • If you’re American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you’re in the bathroom? European.
  • Eighty-year-old Bessie storms into the rec room at the retirement home, fist raised high.
  • Guy walks into a nice Italian restaurant after the lunch rush with his emotional support alligator
  • At the World Cup final, a man notices an empty seat next to him. He asks, “Who would miss the World Cup final?”
  • A guy tells his buddy, “My wife ran off with my best friend Mike yesterday.”
  • Still my favorite joke I ever made up. :)
  • We were enjoying warm drinks at the fall festival when my girlfriend’s dad pulled me aside and sternly asked what my intentions were with his daughter.
  • Did you hear about the Vulcan that got married and had children?
  • The farmer and the milking machine!
  • When two tampons walk down the street why don’t they say anything to each other?
  • A mom is putting her little boy to bed.
  • My favourite math joke
  • Little Johnny is playing in the yard when he gets a wood splinter in his hand…
  • A woman waits anxiously outside the ICU for news about her husband.
  • Three blokes were at the pub discussing what the fastest thing in the world is
  • An American politician once visited the USSR, and was given a tour of a Soviet automobile factory
  • A young Jewish man walks into an antique shop.
  • What do you call a line up at a Vietnamese restaurant?
  • Just had to take my 2 year old cousin’s shitty nappy off
  • We are the Dyslexic Borg.
  • The Girl with the Wooden Eye
  • Raised in a Barn
  • Eucalyptus
  • I was visiting my girlfriend the other night…
  • Cross-eyed horse
  • The woman and her blonde friend decided to take a fishing trip.
  • A wife, pissed off that her husband was late again, wrote a dramatic note: I’ve had enough. I’m leaving you. Don’t try to find me.
  • A man calls the police
  • What is a landlord’s favorite kind of tea?
  • Fun puns.
  • My wife and I were discussing names for our newborn son when she asked if we could name him after her father.
  • What do you call a group of crows that are one short of a flock?
  • Sister Mary sat across the table from the mother superior.
  • Max and Pete are getting a haircut and shave at a barbershop.
  • An elderly Jewish man crashes his car into a tree. The paramedics arrive and use the jaws of life to extract him from the vehicle. They then put him on a stretcher, loosen his clothing to facilitate breathing, and cover him with a blanket.
  • “Push harder”, I shouted at my wife while she was in labor.
  • Two Irishmen were sitting at a pub having a pint, watching the brothel across the street.
  • After landing my new job as a Walmart greeter — a great gig for many retirees — I lasted less than a day.
  • How can you tell it isn’t Halloween yet?
  • I was chilling on the couch before work
  • One Hot Summer Day…
  • Another man goes to another doctor
  • Purple is my favorite color…

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