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Author: Joke Poo

I recently returned from a vacation in Australia, it’s nothing like what they say on the internet

Posted on August 27, 2025 by Joke Poo

There are absolutely no kangaroos, no beaches, they misspelled their own country's name on the signs and for some strange reason everyone spoke German. Edit Context: many years ago I read a…

Three patients go to a psychiatrist for an evaluation.

Posted on August 27, 2025 by Joke Poo

Three patients go to a psychiatrist for an evaluation. The doctor asks the first, “What’s3x3?” The patient says, “236.” The doctor notes this on his pad then asks the second patient, “What’s…

Am I fat?

Posted on August 27, 2025 by Joke Poo

• Boomers: “You could stand to lose a few pounds” • Millennials: “You’re beautiful just the way you are!” • Gen Z: “Don’t body shame me!” • Gen X: “I know 5…

Steal a man’s wallet and he’ll be poor for a day.

Posted on August 27, 2025 by Joke Poo

But teach him to play an instrument and he’ll be poor for the rest of his life. Okay, here’s my attempt: Joke Poo: Steal a Dog’s Ball Steal a dog’s ball and…

Testing the bride

Posted on August 27, 2025 by Joke Poo

On their wedding night, the formally chaste couple had their first venture into the joy of sexual love. In the morning, the groom called the front desk and ordered a steak and…

Small acts of kindness can make someone’s day

Posted on August 27, 2025 by Joke Poo

I met a woman outside the mall crying, she had lost $200, so I gave her $40 from the $200 I found. When God blesses you, remember to bless others. Okay, here’s…

I finally understand Flat-Earth logic.

Posted on August 27, 2025 by Joke Poo

They're just plane idiots. Joke Poo: I finally understand why my dog keeps eating books about string theory. He’s just trying to chew on some higher dimensions. Alright, let’s dissect this delightfully…

Irish intoxication

Posted on August 27, 2025 by Joke Poo

I loved it the first time and thought that a Repost was OK. This is from 14 years ago. (Has that been long enough for a repost?) From Ireland, where driving while…

A snake walks into a bar

Posted on August 27, 2025 by Joke Poo

The bartender says, "How did you do that?" Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” based on the snake joke: Joke Poo: The Anxious Cloud An anxious cumulonimbus cloud drifts into…

My doctor said I only have 6 months to live.

Posted on August 27, 2025 by Joke Poo

When he found out I couldn't pay my bill he gave me a full year. Okay, here’s a new joke titled “Joke Poo” based on your provided joke: Joke Poo: My plumber…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • Man sends widow email by mistake
  • My wife asked how my doctor’s visit went. I said, “Pretty normal, except he told me I need to start wearing adult diapers.” She asked why.
  • The wife came back from buying her costume for a fancy dress party earlier.
  • Gator Show
  • Last night I dreamt I had one hand on the steering wheel of my car and with the other hand I was flipping pancakes
  • There was a little sapling out in the woods between an Oak and a Maple.
  • A guy who lives in Boston hears there’s huge carp in the pond on the Common.
  • God said to Moses, “come forth, and receive eternal peace”…
  • An accountant, a lawyer, and a preacher were out hunting
  • If you’re American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you’re in the bathroom? European.
  • Eighty-year-old Bessie storms into the rec room at the retirement home, fist raised high.
  • Guy walks into a nice Italian restaurant after the lunch rush with his emotional support alligator
  • At the World Cup final, a man notices an empty seat next to him. He asks, “Who would miss the World Cup final?”
  • A guy tells his buddy, “My wife ran off with my best friend Mike yesterday.”
  • Still my favorite joke I ever made up. :)
  • We were enjoying warm drinks at the fall festival when my girlfriend’s dad pulled me aside and sternly asked what my intentions were with his daughter.
  • Did you hear about the Vulcan that got married and had children?
  • The farmer and the milking machine!
  • When two tampons walk down the street why don’t they say anything to each other?
  • A mom is putting her little boy to bed.
  • My favourite math joke
  • Little Johnny is playing in the yard when he gets a wood splinter in his hand…
  • A woman waits anxiously outside the ICU for news about her husband.
  • Three blokes were at the pub discussing what the fastest thing in the world is
  • An American politician once visited the USSR, and was given a tour of a Soviet automobile factory
  • A young Jewish man walks into an antique shop.
  • What do you call a line up at a Vietnamese restaurant?
  • Just had to take my 2 year old cousin’s shitty nappy off
  • We are the Dyslexic Borg.
  • The Girl with the Wooden Eye
  • Raised in a Barn
  • Eucalyptus
  • I was visiting my girlfriend the other night…
  • Cross-eyed horse
  • The woman and her blonde friend decided to take a fishing trip.
  • A wife, pissed off that her husband was late again, wrote a dramatic note: I’ve had enough. I’m leaving you. Don’t try to find me.
  • A man calls the police
  • What is a landlord’s favorite kind of tea?
  • Fun puns.
  • My wife and I were discussing names for our newborn son when she asked if we could name him after her father.
  • What do you call a group of crows that are one short of a flock?
  • Sister Mary sat across the table from the mother superior.
  • Max and Pete are getting a haircut and shave at a barbershop.
  • An elderly Jewish man crashes his car into a tree. The paramedics arrive and use the jaws of life to extract him from the vehicle. They then put him on a stretcher, loosen his clothing to facilitate breathing, and cover him with a blanket.
  • “Push harder”, I shouted at my wife while she was in labor.
  • Two Irishmen were sitting at a pub having a pint, watching the brothel across the street.
  • After landing my new job as a Walmart greeter — a great gig for many retirees — I lasted less than a day.
  • How can you tell it isn’t Halloween yet?
  • I was chilling on the couch before work
  • One Hot Summer Day…

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