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Author: Joke Poo

A snake walks into a bar

Posted on August 27, 2025 by Joke Poo

The bartender says, "How did you do that?" Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” based on the snake joke: Joke Poo: The Anxious Cloud An anxious cumulonimbus cloud drifts into…

My doctor said I only have 6 months to live.

Posted on August 27, 2025 by Joke Poo

When he found out I couldn't pay my bill he gave me a full year. Okay, here’s a new joke titled “Joke Poo” based on your provided joke: Joke Poo: My plumber…

What do you call someone who raps about vegetables?

Posted on August 27, 2025 by Joke Poo

A beetboxer! Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” based on your veggie-rapping pun: Joke Poo: What do you call a bathroom stall reserved solely for comedians? A wit-loo! Alright, let’s…

Arnie the flasher was going to retire next month…

Posted on August 27, 2025 by Joke Poo

But he changed his mind. He decided to stick it out another year. Joke Poo: Title: Brenda the Baker was planning on closing up shop next week… But then she saw her…

My girlfriend and I are trying this whole “long distance relationship” thing.

Posted on August 27, 2025 by Joke Poo

I have to stay 100 feet away from her at all times. Also, the police say I should stop referring to her as my girlfriend. Okay, here’s my attempt: Joke Poo: My…

Some firemen pull an Irishman from a burning bar. He’s coughing, completely covered in soot, and stinks strongly of smoke.

Posted on August 26, 2025 by Joke Poo

When the firemen ask him how the fire started the Irishman says, "How the hell should I know? The place was on fire when I got here." Okay, here’s my attempt at…

The first Jewish president of the US is elected.

Posted on August 26, 2025 by Joke Poo

As he's planning his inauguration, he calls up his mother to ask her if she'll be attending. "I don't know… Washington is so far away, and I can't pay for a plane…

During my check-up I asked the Doctor, “Do you think I’ll live a long and healthy life then?”

Posted on August 26, 2025 by Joke Poo

He replied, "I doubt it somehow. Mercury is in Uranus right now." I said, "I don't go in for any of that astrology nonsense." He replied, "Neither do I. My thermometer just…

A farmer buys a young rooster to replace his old one.

Posted on August 26, 2025 by Joke Poo

The young rooster struts in and says, “All these hens are mine now, old man.” The old rooster smirks, “Maybe so… but tradition says the new rooster must prove himself. We wrestle,…

A New York attorney representing a wealthy art collector called his client and said to him, “David, I have some good news and I have some bad news.”

Posted on August 26, 2025 by Joke Poo

The art collector replied, “I’ve had an awful day; let’s hear the good news first.” The attorney said, “Well, I met with your wife today, and she informed me that she invested…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • What do you call footwear made from bananas?
  • New deodorant
  • Man sends widow email by mistake
  • My wife asked how my doctor’s visit went. I said, “Pretty normal, except he told me I need to start wearing adult diapers.” She asked why.
  • The wife came back from buying her costume for a fancy dress party earlier.
  • Gator Show
  • Last night I dreamt I had one hand on the steering wheel of my car and with the other hand I was flipping pancakes
  • There was a little sapling out in the woods between an Oak and a Maple.
  • A guy who lives in Boston hears there’s huge carp in the pond on the Common.
  • God said to Moses, “come forth, and receive eternal peace”…
  • An accountant, a lawyer, and a preacher were out hunting
  • If you’re American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you’re in the bathroom? European.
  • Eighty-year-old Bessie storms into the rec room at the retirement home, fist raised high.
  • Guy walks into a nice Italian restaurant after the lunch rush with his emotional support alligator
  • At the World Cup final, a man notices an empty seat next to him. He asks, “Who would miss the World Cup final?”
  • A guy tells his buddy, “My wife ran off with my best friend Mike yesterday.”
  • Still my favorite joke I ever made up. :)
  • We were enjoying warm drinks at the fall festival when my girlfriend’s dad pulled me aside and sternly asked what my intentions were with his daughter.
  • Did you hear about the Vulcan that got married and had children?
  • The farmer and the milking machine!
  • When two tampons walk down the street why don’t they say anything to each other?
  • A mom is putting her little boy to bed.
  • My favourite math joke
  • Little Johnny is playing in the yard when he gets a wood splinter in his hand…
  • A woman waits anxiously outside the ICU for news about her husband.
  • Three blokes were at the pub discussing what the fastest thing in the world is
  • An American politician once visited the USSR, and was given a tour of a Soviet automobile factory
  • A young Jewish man walks into an antique shop.
  • What do you call a line up at a Vietnamese restaurant?
  • Just had to take my 2 year old cousin’s shitty nappy off
  • We are the Dyslexic Borg.
  • The Girl with the Wooden Eye
  • Raised in a Barn
  • Eucalyptus
  • I was visiting my girlfriend the other night…
  • Cross-eyed horse
  • The woman and her blonde friend decided to take a fishing trip.
  • A wife, pissed off that her husband was late again, wrote a dramatic note: I’ve had enough. I’m leaving you. Don’t try to find me.
  • A man calls the police
  • What is a landlord’s favorite kind of tea?
  • Fun puns.
  • My wife and I were discussing names for our newborn son when she asked if we could name him after her father.
  • What do you call a group of crows that are one short of a flock?
  • Sister Mary sat across the table from the mother superior.
  • Max and Pete are getting a haircut and shave at a barbershop.
  • An elderly Jewish man crashes his car into a tree. The paramedics arrive and use the jaws of life to extract him from the vehicle. They then put him on a stretcher, loosen his clothing to facilitate breathing, and cover him with a blanket.
  • “Push harder”, I shouted at my wife while she was in labor.
  • Two Irishmen were sitting at a pub having a pint, watching the brothel across the street.
  • After landing my new job as a Walmart greeter — a great gig for many retirees — I lasted less than a day.
  • How can you tell it isn’t Halloween yet?

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