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Author: Joke Poo

A farmer buys a young rooster to replace his old one.

Posted on August 26, 2025 by Joke Poo

The young rooster struts in and says, “All these hens are mine now, old man.” The old rooster smirks, “Maybe so… but tradition says the new rooster must prove himself. We wrestle,…

A New York attorney representing a wealthy art collector called his client and said to him, “David, I have some good news and I have some bad news.”

Posted on August 26, 2025 by Joke Poo

The art collector replied, “I’ve had an awful day; let’s hear the good news first.” The attorney said, “Well, I met with your wife today, and she informed me that she invested…

“F*cking hell love, this is interesting.” I said to the wife, looking up from my computer.

Posted on August 26, 2025 by Joke Poo

"It says here that the giant squid, which until last year had never even been seen alive, is actually estimated as a 100 million-strong species, worldwide." "What the hell are you telling…

A man goes into a bar.

Posted on August 26, 2025 by Joke Poo

He gets a drink, and spots a pretty woman further down the bar. He walks over and offers to buy her a drink. She accepts, and they spend the evening chatting. He…

If a bear shits in the woods and no one is there to smell it,

Posted on August 26, 2025 by Joke Poo

Does the president of an HOA still complain that no one's picking it up? Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” riffing on the “bear shits in the woods” joke: Joke…

“Honey, what’s for dinner tonight?”

Posted on August 26, 2025 by Joke Poo

“Nothing.” “We had nothing yesterday.” “I made enough for two days.” Joke Poo: Post-Apocalyptic Grub “Hey scav, what we eatin’ tonight in this ruined bunker?” “Radiation-flavored nutrient paste.” “We had radiation-flavored nutrient…

A Recent Case…

Posted on August 26, 2025 by Joke Poo

A man dies and finds himself at the gates of heaven, where Saint Peter is waiting for him. “Well, my son! You weren’t exactly a good man during your life. Can you…

Why are cannibals rarely caught?

Posted on August 26, 2025 by Joke Poo

Because the evidence is a load of shit Okay, here’s a new joke playing off the original “cannibals” joke, titled “Joke Poo,” aiming for a similar comedic structure and twist: Joke Poo…

By the application of mathematics alone….

Posted on August 26, 2025 by Joke Poo

I have proved that the Earth is flat! edit: wups, rounding error Okay, here’s the joke and then my “Joke Poo” version: Original Joke: By the application of mathematics alone…. I have…

My girlfriend and I went down to the courthouse to get our marriage license

Posted on August 26, 2025 by Joke Poo

I asked the judge, "Your Honor, will you marry me to this woman even though I'm already married to somebody else?" The judge said, "That would be bigamy!" I replied, "Well, it…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • How to pronounce Celtic words and names
  • I was at a con the other day and a girl cosplaying as Pomni held the door open for me.
  • What do you call footwear made from bananas?
  • New deodorant
  • Man sends widow email by mistake
  • My wife asked how my doctor’s visit went. I said, “Pretty normal, except he told me I need to start wearing adult diapers.” She asked why.
  • The wife came back from buying her costume for a fancy dress party earlier.
  • Gator Show
  • Last night I dreamt I had one hand on the steering wheel of my car and with the other hand I was flipping pancakes
  • There was a little sapling out in the woods between an Oak and a Maple.
  • A guy who lives in Boston hears there’s huge carp in the pond on the Common.
  • God said to Moses, “come forth, and receive eternal peace”…
  • An accountant, a lawyer, and a preacher were out hunting
  • If you’re American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you’re in the bathroom? European.
  • Eighty-year-old Bessie storms into the rec room at the retirement home, fist raised high.
  • Guy walks into a nice Italian restaurant after the lunch rush with his emotional support alligator
  • At the World Cup final, a man notices an empty seat next to him. He asks, “Who would miss the World Cup final?”
  • A guy tells his buddy, “My wife ran off with my best friend Mike yesterday.”
  • Still my favorite joke I ever made up. :)
  • We were enjoying warm drinks at the fall festival when my girlfriend’s dad pulled me aside and sternly asked what my intentions were with his daughter.
  • Did you hear about the Vulcan that got married and had children?
  • The farmer and the milking machine!
  • When two tampons walk down the street why don’t they say anything to each other?
  • A mom is putting her little boy to bed.
  • My favourite math joke
  • Little Johnny is playing in the yard when he gets a wood splinter in his hand…
  • A woman waits anxiously outside the ICU for news about her husband.
  • Three blokes were at the pub discussing what the fastest thing in the world is
  • An American politician once visited the USSR, and was given a tour of a Soviet automobile factory
  • A young Jewish man walks into an antique shop.
  • What do you call a line up at a Vietnamese restaurant?
  • Just had to take my 2 year old cousin’s shitty nappy off
  • We are the Dyslexic Borg.
  • The Girl with the Wooden Eye
  • Raised in a Barn
  • Eucalyptus
  • I was visiting my girlfriend the other night…
  • Cross-eyed horse
  • The woman and her blonde friend decided to take a fishing trip.
  • A wife, pissed off that her husband was late again, wrote a dramatic note: I’ve had enough. I’m leaving you. Don’t try to find me.
  • A man calls the police
  • What is a landlord’s favorite kind of tea?
  • Fun puns.
  • My wife and I were discussing names for our newborn son when she asked if we could name him after her father.
  • What do you call a group of crows that are one short of a flock?
  • Sister Mary sat across the table from the mother superior.
  • Max and Pete are getting a haircut and shave at a barbershop.
  • An elderly Jewish man crashes his car into a tree. The paramedics arrive and use the jaws of life to extract him from the vehicle. They then put him on a stretcher, loosen his clothing to facilitate breathing, and cover him with a blanket.
  • “Push harder”, I shouted at my wife while she was in labor.
  • Two Irishmen were sitting at a pub having a pint, watching the brothel across the street.

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