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Author: Joke Poo

By the application of mathematics alone….

Posted on August 26, 2025 by Joke Poo

I have proved that the Earth is flat! edit: wups, rounding error Okay, here’s the joke and then my “Joke Poo” version: Original Joke: By the application of mathematics alone…. I have…

My girlfriend and I went down to the courthouse to get our marriage license

Posted on August 26, 2025 by Joke Poo

I asked the judge, "Your Honor, will you marry me to this woman even though I'm already married to somebody else?" The judge said, "That would be bigamy!" I replied, "Well, it…

A man who was in court for stealing a bag took just 3 minutes to get sentenced

Posted on August 26, 2025 by Joke Poo

It was a briefcase Okay, here’s a new joke riffing on the original, titled “Joke Poo”: Joke Poo A dog was brought before the judge for repeatedly using the neighbor’s lawn as…

I asked my wife if I’m the only one she’s ever been with.

Posted on August 26, 2025 by Joke Poo

She said, “Yes. The others were all nines and tens.” Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” based on your original, titled “Joke Poo”: Joke Poo I asked my dog if…

Complete Nudity

Posted on August 26, 2025 by Joke Poo

The bride’s mother was a little too prudish, and her last piece of advice before the wedding night went like this: – Never show yourself completely naked in front of your husband….

So this guy who’s lived his whole life in the city begins to feel drawn towards the great outdoors by what he’s been seeing on TNN and other cable networks… (this one’s really long – but I like it)

Posted on August 26, 2025 by Joke Poo

Specifically, it's hunting that has him fascinated and after a couple years of watching every sort of hunting show he can find, every chance he gets, he decides that no matter what,…

My wife gave birth on our stairs.

Posted on August 26, 2025 by Joke Poo

My wife gave birth on our stairs. Now I have a stepson! Original Joke: My wife gave birth on our stairs. Now I have a stepson! Joke Poo: My Cat Had a…

Three guys stranded on a deserted island find a magical genie in a bottle

Posted on August 26, 2025 by Joke Poo

The genie offers to grant them each one wish for setting him free. First guy wishes he was off the island and back home. Poof, he disappears and is instantly back at…

After a few weeks of trying, my wife just told me she’s pregnant.

Posted on August 26, 2025 by Joke Poo

She has the worst stutter ever. Okay, here’s a new joke titled “Joke Poo,” riffing on the original with a similar structure and twist: Joke Poo After a few months of intense…

I have final proof humanity will become extinct soon!

Posted on August 26, 2025 by Joke Poo

My great-grandmother……..12 children My grandmother………………..9 children My mother………………………… 6 children Me…………………………………….. 2 children My son………………………………. 1 cat The cat……………………………….. neutered Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” riffing on the original…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • Someone in the street market was shouting: “Jokes for sale, jokes for sale”.
  • I woke up in the middle of the night cooking stir fry.
  • How to pronounce Celtic words and names
  • I was at a con the other day and a girl cosplaying as Pomni held the door open for me.
  • What do you call footwear made from bananas?
  • New deodorant
  • Man sends widow email by mistake
  • My wife asked how my doctor’s visit went. I said, “Pretty normal, except he told me I need to start wearing adult diapers.” She asked why.
  • The wife came back from buying her costume for a fancy dress party earlier.
  • Gator Show
  • Last night I dreamt I had one hand on the steering wheel of my car and with the other hand I was flipping pancakes
  • There was a little sapling out in the woods between an Oak and a Maple.
  • A guy who lives in Boston hears there’s huge carp in the pond on the Common.
  • God said to Moses, “come forth, and receive eternal peace”…
  • An accountant, a lawyer, and a preacher were out hunting
  • If you’re American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you’re in the bathroom? European.
  • Eighty-year-old Bessie storms into the rec room at the retirement home, fist raised high.
  • Guy walks into a nice Italian restaurant after the lunch rush with his emotional support alligator
  • At the World Cup final, a man notices an empty seat next to him. He asks, “Who would miss the World Cup final?”
  • A guy tells his buddy, “My wife ran off with my best friend Mike yesterday.”
  • Still my favorite joke I ever made up. :)
  • We were enjoying warm drinks at the fall festival when my girlfriend’s dad pulled me aside and sternly asked what my intentions were with his daughter.
  • Did you hear about the Vulcan that got married and had children?
  • The farmer and the milking machine!
  • When two tampons walk down the street why don’t they say anything to each other?
  • A mom is putting her little boy to bed.
  • My favourite math joke
  • Little Johnny is playing in the yard when he gets a wood splinter in his hand…
  • A woman waits anxiously outside the ICU for news about her husband.
  • Three blokes were at the pub discussing what the fastest thing in the world is
  • An American politician once visited the USSR, and was given a tour of a Soviet automobile factory
  • A young Jewish man walks into an antique shop.
  • What do you call a line up at a Vietnamese restaurant?
  • Just had to take my 2 year old cousin’s shitty nappy off
  • We are the Dyslexic Borg.
  • The Girl with the Wooden Eye
  • Raised in a Barn
  • Eucalyptus
  • I was visiting my girlfriend the other night…
  • Cross-eyed horse
  • The woman and her blonde friend decided to take a fishing trip.
  • A wife, pissed off that her husband was late again, wrote a dramatic note: I’ve had enough. I’m leaving you. Don’t try to find me.
  • A man calls the police
  • What is a landlord’s favorite kind of tea?
  • Fun puns.
  • My wife and I were discussing names for our newborn son when she asked if we could name him after her father.
  • What do you call a group of crows that are one short of a flock?
  • Sister Mary sat across the table from the mother superior.
  • Max and Pete are getting a haircut and shave at a barbershop.
  • An elderly Jewish man crashes his car into a tree. The paramedics arrive and use the jaws of life to extract him from the vehicle. They then put him on a stretcher, loosen his clothing to facilitate breathing, and cover him with a blanket.

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