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Author: Joke Poo

After a few weeks of trying, my wife just told me she’s pregnant.

Posted on August 26, 2025 by Joke Poo

She has the worst stutter ever. Okay, here’s a new joke titled “Joke Poo,” riffing on the original with a similar structure and twist: Joke Poo After a few months of intense…

I have final proof humanity will become extinct soon!

Posted on August 26, 2025 by Joke Poo

My great-grandmother……..12 children My grandmother………………..9 children My mother………………………… 6 children Me…………………………………….. 2 children My son………………………………. 1 cat The cat……………………………….. neutered Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” riffing on the original…

An older gentleman man driving an old beat up truck gets into a fender bender with CEO’s Ferrari.

Posted on August 25, 2025 by Joke Poo

The CEO gets out of the car, examines the damage and decides to bully the old man. "Hey old geezer that damage is gonna cost $50k to fix. Either you give me…

A man goes up to a newspaper stand, buys a copy of the New York Times, takes one look at the front page, and throws it away with a disappointed look on his face.

Posted on August 25, 2025 by Joke Poo

Every day, he comes back to the newspaper stand, buys a copy of the Times, looks over the front page, gets disappointed, and then throws the paper away without opening it. This…

Jesus and his disciples walk into a restaurant

Posted on August 25, 2025 by Joke Poo

Jesus says to the host, "Table for 26 please!" The host is confused: "But there's only 13 of you?" Jesus responds, "Yeah but we're all gonna sit on the same side" Joke…

My jokes are like overcooked steaks

Posted on August 25, 2025 by Joke Poo

They're well done Okay, here’s a “Joke Poo” version of that joke: Joke Poo: My Reviews of Diapers My reviews of diapers are like overflowing septic tanks… …They’re full of crap. Alright,…

What’s it called when a gay guy is staring at you?

Posted on August 25, 2025 by Joke Poo

A gaze Okay, here’s a “Joke Poo” based on your original: Joke Poo: What’s it called when your dog won’t stop staring at you while you’re on the toilet? A potty gaze….

I went to the library to get a book about belly pain.

Posted on August 25, 2025 by Joke Poo

Someone had cut the appendix out. Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo,” riffing on your original: Joke Poo: The Compost Heap I went to the community garden to find a…

I picked up a hitch-hiker. Seemed like a nice guy.

Posted on August 25, 2025 by Joke Poo

After a few miles, he asked me if I wasn't afraid that he might be a serial killer. I told him that the odds of two serial killers being in the same…

The Mother’s Instinct

Posted on August 25, 2025 by Joke Poo

After years of searching, a young man finally found love. He decided to introduce the woman of his dreams to his adoring mother by playing a trick: He brought home three women…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • If you can’t find the opposite of “remember”…
  • What do you call a small green Jedi in the alps?
  • Someone in the street market was shouting: “Jokes for sale, jokes for sale”.
  • I woke up in the middle of the night cooking stir fry.
  • How to pronounce Celtic words and names
  • I was at a con the other day and a girl cosplaying as Pomni held the door open for me.
  • What do you call footwear made from bananas?
  • New deodorant
  • Man sends widow email by mistake
  • My wife asked how my doctor’s visit went. I said, “Pretty normal, except he told me I need to start wearing adult diapers.” She asked why.
  • The wife came back from buying her costume for a fancy dress party earlier.
  • Gator Show
  • Last night I dreamt I had one hand on the steering wheel of my car and with the other hand I was flipping pancakes
  • There was a little sapling out in the woods between an Oak and a Maple.
  • A guy who lives in Boston hears there’s huge carp in the pond on the Common.
  • God said to Moses, “come forth, and receive eternal peace”…
  • An accountant, a lawyer, and a preacher were out hunting
  • If you’re American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you’re in the bathroom? European.
  • Eighty-year-old Bessie storms into the rec room at the retirement home, fist raised high.
  • Guy walks into a nice Italian restaurant after the lunch rush with his emotional support alligator
  • At the World Cup final, a man notices an empty seat next to him. He asks, “Who would miss the World Cup final?”
  • A guy tells his buddy, “My wife ran off with my best friend Mike yesterday.”
  • Still my favorite joke I ever made up. :)
  • We were enjoying warm drinks at the fall festival when my girlfriend’s dad pulled me aside and sternly asked what my intentions were with his daughter.
  • Did you hear about the Vulcan that got married and had children?
  • The farmer and the milking machine!
  • When two tampons walk down the street why don’t they say anything to each other?
  • A mom is putting her little boy to bed.
  • My favourite math joke
  • Little Johnny is playing in the yard when he gets a wood splinter in his hand…
  • A woman waits anxiously outside the ICU for news about her husband.
  • Three blokes were at the pub discussing what the fastest thing in the world is
  • An American politician once visited the USSR, and was given a tour of a Soviet automobile factory
  • A young Jewish man walks into an antique shop.
  • What do you call a line up at a Vietnamese restaurant?
  • Just had to take my 2 year old cousin’s shitty nappy off
  • We are the Dyslexic Borg.
  • The Girl with the Wooden Eye
  • Raised in a Barn
  • Eucalyptus
  • I was visiting my girlfriend the other night…
  • Cross-eyed horse
  • The woman and her blonde friend decided to take a fishing trip.
  • A wife, pissed off that her husband was late again, wrote a dramatic note: I’ve had enough. I’m leaving you. Don’t try to find me.
  • A man calls the police
  • What is a landlord’s favorite kind of tea?
  • Fun puns.
  • My wife and I were discussing names for our newborn son when she asked if we could name him after her father.
  • What do you call a group of crows that are one short of a flock?
  • Sister Mary sat across the table from the mother superior.

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