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Author: Joke Poo

Bartender looking at the client’s empty glass in front of him: “Would you like another one?”

Posted on June 5, 2025 by Joke Poo

“Why would I need another empty glass?”, responded the client. Okay, here’s my "Joke Poo" version, titled: Joke Poo: Programmer’s Predicament Tech Support looking at the programmer’s crashing code on the screen:…

What US military branch is the most patriotic?

Posted on June 5, 2025 by Joke Poo

Air Force. Cause they're USAF! Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo" version of the original joke, titled "Joke Poo": Joke Poo: What kind of dog makes the best secret agent?…

Why is a car ferry like a condom?

Posted on June 5, 2025 by Joke Poo

Roll-on, roll-off, full of seamen and if you get a hole in one, you're sunk. Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo" based on that one, maintaining a similar structure and…

Knock knock

Posted on June 5, 2025 by Joke Poo

Who's there? Amos Amos who? A mosquito. Knock knock Who's there? Anna Anna who? Another mosquito. Knock knock Who's there? Yeti Yeti who? Yet another mosquito. Knock knock Who's there? Helen Helen…

Doing the Laundry (true story)

Posted on June 5, 2025 by Joke Poo

My wife and I take turns doing the laundry. We separate light from colors, cold from warm wash, all that, like most people do. I had put some laundry in and had…

A Scottish soldier in full dress uniform marches into a chemist shop.

Posted on June 5, 2025 by Joke Poo

Very carefully he opens his sporran and pulls out a neatly folded cotton bandana, unfolds it to reveal a smaller silk square handkerchief, which he also unfolds to reveal a condom. The…

A software tester walks into a bar.

Posted on June 5, 2025 by Joke Poo

Runs into a bar. Crawls into a bar. Dances into a bar. Flies into a bar. Jumps into a bar. And orders: a beer. 2 beers. 0 beers. 99999999 beers. a lizard…

Do you have an acronym for TESLA?

Posted on June 5, 2025 by Joke Poo

Add to the list of car names explained like the following examples: ACURA: Asia's Curse Upon Rural America AUDI: Always Unsafe Designs Implemented BMW: Big Money Wasted CHEVROLET: Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually…

The Garden

Posted on June 5, 2025 by Joke Poo

John is in prison and he gets a letter from his father, who is getting up in years. His father says he doesn't know how he's going to prepare the garden this…

My friend got fired from her job for being a company Whistleblower

Posted on June 5, 2025 by Joke Poo

She was discovered by the CEO’s wife, Mrs. Whistle Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo" version of your joke, titled "Joke Poo": Joke Poo: My Neighbor’s Yard Sale My neighbor…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • A man and his wife were sitting in their living room one evening.
  • A man tells his doctor “Doctor, my girlfriend is pregnant, but we always use protection and the rubber never broke. How can she be pregnant?”
  • My patient asked, “Doctor, will i be alright?”
  • One day the teacher told her class to think of something exiting that happened recently.
  • In a small town there was a couple, known for being unafraid to express their love in a simple action.
  • These tropical birds stole my beer…
  • The Sentence
  • Good news/bad news
  • Bad luck Dave
  • I’m a stay at home dad and I started a daycare.
  • Prayer
  • A new cave has been opened in hell
  • The CIA advertises for an assassin and three applicants, Tom, Dick and Harry, are chosen for a final test
  • What did the pickle say to the cucumber?
  • A young class were enjoying the first day of first grade.
  • At the hospital…
  • A woman is sitting at home, on the patio with her husband, drinking a glass of wine and she says, “I love you.”
  • The perch problem
  • In Russia, two guys are queuing to buy potatoes
  • There’s an old joke about the difference between American and Russian corruption.
  • Doctor’s advice for premature ejaculation didn’t go as planned
  • A man wakes up hungover in an alley with his pants off, and notices two colored rings painted on this dick, one brown, one red
  • Scientists took out the left half of a man’s brain
  • A widower goes to a psychic to contact his late wife. “Honey,” he says. “Are you happy?”
  • New Zealand would be so safe in case of a world war
  • A guy walks into a pharmacy and asks, “Do you have any antiseptics here?”
  • I spent a whole year making a belt out of clocks for a fat guy.
  • Why did the chicken cross the road?
  • Knock knock
  • Charley Pride was a legendary musician
  • Women are confusing. On my wife’s birthday, I wish her a Happy Birthday and she smiles happily at me
  • I’m AM going to put glue on my hands and then handle firearms. Nobody can tell me otherwise.
  • Why did Shakespeare only use quills
  • What did one tectonic plate say to the other when they bumped into each other?
  • Do the laundry
  • A couple invited their family over for Thanksgiving night to spend the holiday and meal together.
  • Three men are in an airplane. One is the pilot, the other two are a hippie and the someone self described as the world’s smartest man
  • Hi. What’s your name?
  • Guy goes to doctor about a sex addiction problem.
  • So a farmer asks a friend to come over to his place to help him fix his generator.
  • 1 in 4 people admit that they have texted while driving
  • Don’t feel like getting up in the morning to go to work?
  • I like to hibernate during the winter
  • 50 Cent started rapping in 1996
  • Timmy asks his Father how politics work
  • Teacher gift
  • What comes after a sextillion.
  • My son walked in with a rock in his hand
  • My child told me that I was an out of touch old fool.
  • An 89 year old woman buys herself some bright red crotchless panties.

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