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Author: Joke Poo

A Scottish soldier in full dress uniform marches into a chemist shop.

Posted on June 5, 2025 by Joke Poo

Very carefully he opens his sporran and pulls out a neatly folded cotton bandana, unfolds it to reveal a smaller silk square handkerchief, which he also unfolds to reveal a condom. The…

A software tester walks into a bar.

Posted on June 5, 2025 by Joke Poo

Runs into a bar. Crawls into a bar. Dances into a bar. Flies into a bar. Jumps into a bar. And orders: a beer. 2 beers. 0 beers. 99999999 beers. a lizard…

Do you have an acronym for TESLA?

Posted on June 5, 2025 by Joke Poo

Add to the list of car names explained like the following examples: ACURA: Asia's Curse Upon Rural America AUDI: Always Unsafe Designs Implemented BMW: Big Money Wasted CHEVROLET: Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually…

The Garden

Posted on June 5, 2025 by Joke Poo

John is in prison and he gets a letter from his father, who is getting up in years. His father says he doesn't know how he's going to prepare the garden this…

My friend got fired from her job for being a company Whistleblower

Posted on June 5, 2025 by Joke Poo

She was discovered by the CEO’s wife, Mrs. Whistle Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo" version of your joke, titled "Joke Poo": Joke Poo: My Neighbor’s Yard Sale My neighbor…

Something you don’t want to happen upon arriving on an exotic island:

Posted on June 5, 2025 by Joke Poo

You stumble across a hand-held video camera with the hands still attached. Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo" version of that joke: Joke Poo: Island Delivery Something you really don’t…

Two women talking in a restaurant

Posted on June 5, 2025 by Joke Poo

First woman: I was trimming the hair round my private parts and decided to use my phone as a mirror. Second woman: How did it go? First woman: It was going great…

I went to Whole Foods today, and was really impressed with the variety.

Posted on June 4, 2025 by Joke Poo

I had never been there before, and I always thought it would just be things like bagels, donuts, Cheerios, maybe some Swiss cheese… (Apologies, this joke only works verbally.) Joke Poo: The…

I wanted to spice up my love life…

Posted on June 4, 2025June 4, 2025 by Joke Poo

… so I filled my sex doll up with helium. Now, the sex is fantastic. But her voice is so fucking annoying. Joke Poo: I wanted to fertilize my sad little garden……

Did you hear about the German cannibal?

Posted on June 4, 2025 by Joke Poo

He loved eating Hamburgers Okay, here’s my "Joke Poo" version, inspired by your original German Cannibal joke: Title: Joke Poo – The French Flora Enthusiast Did you hear about the French gardener?…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • The waiter dropped my steak.
  • Jesus drove a Honda, but didn’t talk about it.
  • Local Idiot 1: “Does it hurt to get a tattoo?”
  • Yoda once said “Do, or do not. There is no try”
  • I put my cat on a vegan diet.
  • A man and his wife were sitting in their living room one evening.
  • A man tells his doctor “Doctor, my girlfriend is pregnant, but we always use protection and the rubber never broke. How can she be pregnant?”
  • My patient asked, “Doctor, will i be alright?”
  • One day the teacher told her class to think of something exiting that happened recently.
  • In a small town there was a couple, known for being unafraid to express their love in a simple action.
  • These tropical birds stole my beer…
  • The Sentence
  • Good news/bad news
  • Bad luck Dave
  • I’m a stay at home dad and I started a daycare.
  • Prayer
  • A new cave has been opened in hell
  • The CIA advertises for an assassin and three applicants, Tom, Dick and Harry, are chosen for a final test
  • What did the pickle say to the cucumber?
  • A young class were enjoying the first day of first grade.
  • At the hospital…
  • A woman is sitting at home, on the patio with her husband, drinking a glass of wine and she says, “I love you.”
  • The perch problem
  • In Russia, two guys are queuing to buy potatoes
  • There’s an old joke about the difference between American and Russian corruption.
  • Doctor’s advice for premature ejaculation didn’t go as planned
  • A man wakes up hungover in an alley with his pants off, and notices two colored rings painted on this dick, one brown, one red
  • Scientists took out the left half of a man’s brain
  • A widower goes to a psychic to contact his late wife. “Honey,” he says. “Are you happy?”
  • New Zealand would be so safe in case of a world war
  • A guy walks into a pharmacy and asks, “Do you have any antiseptics here?”
  • I spent a whole year making a belt out of clocks for a fat guy.
  • Why did the chicken cross the road?
  • Knock knock
  • Charley Pride was a legendary musician
  • Women are confusing. On my wife’s birthday, I wish her a Happy Birthday and she smiles happily at me
  • I’m AM going to put glue on my hands and then handle firearms. Nobody can tell me otherwise.
  • Why did Shakespeare only use quills
  • What did one tectonic plate say to the other when they bumped into each other?
  • Do the laundry
  • A couple invited their family over for Thanksgiving night to spend the holiday and meal together.
  • Three men are in an airplane. One is the pilot, the other two are a hippie and the someone self described as the world’s smartest man
  • Hi. What’s your name?
  • Guy goes to doctor about a sex addiction problem.
  • So a farmer asks a friend to come over to his place to help him fix his generator.
  • 1 in 4 people admit that they have texted while driving
  • Don’t feel like getting up in the morning to go to work?
  • I like to hibernate during the winter
  • 50 Cent started rapping in 1996
  • Timmy asks his Father how politics work

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