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Category: Bartender

A blonde walked into a bar

Posted on July 8, 2025 by Joke Poo

She asked for a double entendre, and the bartender gave it to her Joke Poo: The Librarian’s Query A librarian walked into a research lab. She asked for a grant proposal with…

Once there was a regional darts champion, who found that his darts flew with even greater accuracy after he’d had a drink or two.

Posted on July 6, 2025 by Joke Poo

Unfortunately, all of his local mates quickly learned to never wager against him, especially if he had been drinking. One night, he arrived at the pub to find a stranger standing on…

A gnome, a leprechaun, and a dwarf walk into a bar…

Posted on July 4, 2025 by Joke Poo

The bartender grinned as they each climbed up on the bar and formed a line. "What is this?" He asked. "Some kind of joke?" The gnome jumped, slugged him on the chin,…

A man goes into a bar

Posted on July 2, 2025 by Joke Poo

He orders 8 beers and has them lined up on th e bar. He drinks the 1st, 3rd, 5th and 7th beer. Barman asks if he okay? Guy replies , Yes mate….

A man goes to a shrink and says, “Doctor, my wife is unfaithful to me.

Posted on July 1, 2025 by Joke Poo

Every evening, she goes to the bar and picks up men. In fact, she sleeps with anybody who asks her! I’m going crazy. What do you think I should do?” “Relax,” says…

What does a German order in a cocktail bar?

Posted on June 30, 2025 by Joke Poo

Gin and Teutonic. Joke Poo: Title: Stool Sample Joke: What does a microbiologist order at a coffee shop? A fecal latte. Okay, let’s dissect this joke and then spice it up! Joke…

A man walks into a bar for a drink.

Posted on June 29, 2025 by Joke Poo

The bartender hands him a shot and says, "That's the Spirit!". Okay, here’s my attempt at "Joke Poo" based on your prompt: Joke Poo: The Compost Heap A gardener is meticulously tending…

A Duck walks into a pub..

Posted on June 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

He hops on to the bar stool and says to the bartender “Pint please mate!” The barman looks at him in utter shock. “But you’re a duck how are you tal..” The…

So a gorilla walks into a bar …

Posted on June 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

He sits down and orders a beer. The bartender pours him a pint, and says, "That'll be $10." The gorilla pays, and starts drinking. The bartender says, "You know, we don't get…

A Russian walks into a bar and orders 3 double vodkas

Posted on June 28, 2025 by Joke Poo

The bartender asks, "What's wrong?" "My son started wearing an I Stand With Putin t-shirt. Since then, he's been beaten, spat at, and had bottles thrown at him several times." The bartender…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • What is a wok?
  • Racism exists in the oceanographic community.
  • Why are you right handed?
  • How does Lightning McQueen masturbate?
  • I recently found out they don’t have the real Mona Lisa in the Louvre
  • I saw a woman wearing short shorts that had a NASCAR logo.
  • A redneck had just been served in a Las Vegas cocktail lounge
  • An engineer wakes up in hell and thinks to himself. I’ve been a good person. I shouldn’t be here.
  • Two teenage church-goers get married.
  • As I walked into work this morning my colleague said, “Dave, you look like shit.”
  • A guy picks up a woman at a bar. After a couple of drinks they go to his place…
  • My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic..
  • The boss was confused when one of his most reliable employees didn’t show up for work.
  • A man is doing 20 over the speed limit on the highway when a cop pulls him over.
  • Accent misjudged
  • The speeding biker
  • My boss told me to have a good day…
  • Came up with this one while sitting in traffic: What’s a whiskey drinkers favorite car?
  • What do you call a cow with no legs?
  • An older couple were lying in bed one night.
  • At dinner, little Timmy was asked by his father to lead the prayer.
  • A joke I made up in third grade: How does a skunk protect himself from danger?
  • Captain Kirk. Peter Pan. Lestat De Lioncourt. Miss Marple. Don Draper. The Three Little Pigs. Robin Hood. Daffy Duck. Optimus Prime. Bilbo Baggins. Count Dracula. Han Solo. Jack and Diane. Elmo. Pikachu. Jean Valjean. Snow White.
  • A joke for reddit
  • A husband and wife were celebrating their 50th anniversary.
  • I said to the doctor “That haemorrhoid cream you prescribed for me is causing some unpleasant reactions”.
  • A woman hits a chicken as it’s crossing the road.
  • A 50yo Woman Goes in for Cancer Surgery
  • “Son, I found a condom in your room.”
  • Interviewer: “How much amount of milk does your cow produce?”. Farmer: “Which one, black one or white one?”
  • MENSA has started administering a new type of test that scans your social media posts determine your functional IQ.
  • A woman cheats on her husband
  • Hello, you have reached the Men’s Help Line, my name is Bob. How can I help you?
  • A man rubs a magic lamp, and a genie appears.
  • A Guy Meets An Actor
  • Frank and the Chili Cook off
  • On his first day at work, an apprentice butcher was ordered to chop up some rabbit carcasses for display in the shop window.
  • Why did the condom fly across the room?
  • When I was a boy, my mother wore a mood ring. When she was in a good mood it turned blue
  • “Pain” denotes the ache an Englishman feels
  • A Bishop, a Pope and Mother Superior are standing at the gates of Heaven.
  • I wanted to be a CEO
  • I was asked (in front of my girlfriend) what I would have done in the position of the CEO at the Coldplay concert. I said I’d never be in that situation!
  • On the news today it said they’ve unearthed a sarcophagus in Egypt filled with chocolate and nuts
  • So a guy comes home extremely pissed off. “What’s the matter, honey?” asks his wife.
  • Three very different couples want to get married at the same church!
  • A couple of guys are at the bar. The first guy says to his buddy, “My wife just admitted to me that she’s been having an affair with Bob the mailman.”
  • A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years.
  • 3 nuns are standing at the gates of heaven, St Peter says they’ll be allowed in if they can each answer a single question
  • My BDSM society took me to court for not being hardcore enough.

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