A cowboy who just moved to Wyoming from Oklahoma walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Bud. He heads to the back, sipping each one in turn. When he finishes,…
Category: Bartender
A man sitting at a bar after work shares with the bartender why he is looking so stressed.
"I’m not sleeping well. I have nightmares about a monster under my bed and I am too embarrassed to seek help." A patron nearby overhears this and introduces himself. "I overheard your…
Hunter Killer, Red October, Crimson Tide, and Das Boot walk into a bar.
The bartender looks up and says, "Is this some kind of subtext?" Das Boot orders a beer, but insists it must be authentic, unfiltered, and served under immense psychological pressure. Crimson Tide…
My late grandfather’s favorite joke. A man is in an insane asylum…
A man is in an insane asylum and is assessed by a doctor for release. All the staff says he's totally fine to be returned to normal life, and this is his…
Grasshopper
A grasshopper walks into a bar, and the bartender asks; "What'll you have?" Grasshopper thinks a moment and says; "Whiskey sour, please." Bartender smiles and says; "I would have thought you'd want…
A penguin walks into a bar…
A penguin walks into a bar and asks the bartender "Got any fish?" The bartender says no and the penguin leaves. Next day the penguin walks back in and asks the bartender…
How do you turn on an alcoholic lady?
Liquor! Joke Poo: How do you turn on a gardener who loves composting? Worm castings! Alright, let’s dive into this… somewhat questionable joke. Joke Dissection: Setup: “How do you turn on an…
A rough old general has heard about a unit with the toughest soldiers around and decides to check them out.
After reviewing the troops on parade he visits the medical tent to meet the soldiers. The general barks at the first soldier, "Why are you here, soldier?" "Hemorrhoids, Sir!" "And how are…
A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender, “If I show you a wild trick, will you give me a free drink?”
The bartender shrugs, “Sure, why not?” The guy reaches into his pocket and pulls out… a tiny rat. Then out of the other pocket, he pulls a teeny-tiny piano. The rat stretches,…
A man and a giraffe walk into a bar and they order drinks.
After a few drinks, the giraffe falls over and dies. The man begins to walk out when the bartender stops him. “Hey, you can’t leave that lyin’ there!”, the bartender yells out….