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Category: Bartender

Three logicians enter a bar. The bartender asks them “Do y’all want something to drink?”

Posted on June 18, 2025 by Joke Poo

The first logician says "I'm not sure" The second logician says "I'm not sure" The third logician says "Yes." Joke Poo: Three Plumbers Enter a Sewage Treatment Plant Three plumbers enter a…

Complementary!

Posted on June 18, 2025 by Joke Poo

A guy is sitting at a bar having a drink, he hears a voice near by, Hey nice hair cut! He turns around but no one is there, then he hears That…

Guy walks into a bar with his emotional support alligator

Posted on June 14, 2025 by Joke Poo

The bartender says they only allow service animals, not emotional support animals wearing a $25 yellow vest you can buy on Etsy. On top of that, it’s dangerous to others. So the…

What did the shoelace say when it became untied?

Posted on June 13, 2025 by Joke Poo

Knot again! Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo," titled "The Plumber’s Lament": The Plumber’s Lament What did the toilet say when it overflowed and started spewing sewage? …Oh, crap! Knot…

An A, a C, and an E walk into a bar.

Posted on June 12, 2025 by Joke Poo

The bartender says, "I'm sorry, we don't serve minors here." Original Joke: An A, a C, and an E walk into a bar. The bartender says, "I’m sorry, we don’t serve minors…

A thesaurus walks into a bar…

Posted on June 9, 2025 by Joke Poo

A thesaurus strolls into a bar. A thesaurus ambles into a bar. A thesaurus strides into a bar. A thesaurus steps into a bar. A thesaurus jogs into a bar. A thesaurus…

An infinite line of mathematicians walk into a bar…

Posted on June 5, 2025 by Joke Poo

The first one orders a beer. The second orders 1/2 a beer. The third one orders 1/4 a beer. The bartender quickly catches on, pours two beers and says "You guys need…

Bartender looking at the client’s empty glass in front of him: “Would you like another one?”

Posted on June 5, 2025 by Joke Poo

“Why would I need another empty glass?”, responded the client. Okay, here’s my "Joke Poo" version, titled: Joke Poo: Programmer’s Predicament Tech Support looking at the programmer’s crashing code on the screen:…

A software tester walks into a bar.

Posted on June 5, 2025 by Joke Poo

Runs into a bar. Crawls into a bar. Dances into a bar. Flies into a bar. Jumps into a bar. And orders: a beer. 2 beers. 0 beers. 99999999 beers. a lizard…

A man walks into a bar

Posted on June 4, 2025 by Joke Poo

A man walks into a bar and says,  "Quick! Give me a shot of whiskey before the trouble starts!" The bartender shrugs and pours him a shot. The man grabs it, downs…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • Not all construction tasks are equally enjoyable.
  • In a carpenter’s workshop, one apprentice makes a bet that he can recognize any type of wood just by its smell. They blindfold him and hand him the first board… the apprentice smells it confidently and says: “Oak!”
  • I was admitted into the hospital and as I settled into my bed, I overheard my “roommate” using the speakerphone to order breakfast from the cafeteria
  • My mom went on vacation to Florida
  • School year is like pregnancy.
  • A man visits his lawyer
  • A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer.
  • Election results are like group project grades
  • A librarian is having a discussion with a cobra…
  • Job interview question: Why ask for a high salary with no experience?
  • The other day I needed to pay a visit to a public toilet
  • A man doesn’t come home from work Friday, instead he spends the whole weekend out fishing with his buddies.
  • A hunter walks into a pub and says that he is the greatest hunter, he can recognize any game animal by its fur, and if they show him the wound, he can even tell which weapon killed it in exchange for a drink.
  • Guy : Doctor, my Girlfriend is pregnant but we always use protection and the rubber never broke. How is it possible?
  • (An original joke best read aloud) My friend got a job as one of those sushi girls. Y’know, where guys eat sushi off her naked.
  • What did the ghost of the Redditor say when looking at it’s own corpse?
  • What’s yellow and really hurts if it gets in your eye?
  • What a nice couple, how long have you been married?
  • Three cougars
  • Why did the BYU student come inside?
  • Reminder: terrorist jokes are tasteless and unfunny
  • Would make a joke about fencing
  • Possums are from the south
  • Did you know they just ruled dad jokes to be unconstitutional?
  • Boudreaux goes to the doctor
  • I called off work today when I saw the date
  • I hate people who take drugs
  • A very pregnant lady boarded a bus and noticed a young man smiling at her.
  • A gynecologist noticed his new patient was a little nervous.
  • The only two white actors in Black Panther are Martin Freeman, who played Bilbo Baggins, and Andy Serkis who played Gollum.
  • San Francisco, 1895. A man on the outskirts of town hires a cab driver to ride to the train station. No one wants to go that far, but one driver agrees.
  • A wife leaned into her husband and purred, “Have you ever seen twenty dollars all crumpled up?”
  • I promised my son…
  • Jogger sees fire
  • A salesman, Computer engineer and a system programmer
  • General Secretary Khrushchev and President Nixon met and started boasting about the greatness of their countries.
  • An American walks into a bar & orders a beer
  • A farmer’s son joins reddit and finds the r/Jokes subreddit
  • My Wife Always Gives 100% Sound Advice
  • A Caveman and a bear walk into a bar
  • I wrote a song about being naked.
  • Girlfriend needs a seat!
  • I’m So Old…
  • I’m surprised there’s not a lawn company called Paradise City…
  • A careless captain let his ship go adrift, and it crashed into the harbor.
  • I’m not saying that modern life has ruined our kids……
  • A plane is flying to Toronto when a blonde in economy moves up and sits in first class.
  • A high-powered attorney ended up in the hospital for a few days – and let’s just say, he was not the ideal patient.
  • The Cowboy and the Horse Thieves
  • What is a mob boss’ favorite element from the periodic table?

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