A man meets a prostitute in a bar.
She tells him, “For £300, I’ll do absolutely anything you want — but you have to say it in just three words.”
He hands her the cash and says:
“Paint. My. House.”
Joke Poo: The Genie’s Ultimatum
A desperate traveler stumbles upon a dusty old lamp in the desert. He rubs it, and a genie appears.
The genie booms, "I grant wishes, but I’m tired of vague requests! For three precious wishes, you must phrase each desire in exactly three words!"
The traveler, eyes wide with opportunity, blurts out his first wish: "I. Want. Money."
The genie snaps his fingers. Immediately, the traveler is drowning in a downpour of pennies.
The traveler coughs, spitting out a coin. Annoyed, he shouts his second wish: "Stop. The. Pennies!"
The genie nods. The copper deluge ceases.
Wiping the sweat from his brow, and learning quickly from his mistake, the man takes a deep breath and proclaims his third and final wish:
"Make. Me. Taller."
Alright, let’s break down this joke and then sprinkle some comedic fairy dust on it.
Joke Dissection:
- Setup: Establishes the expectation of a salacious encounter with a prostitute who will fulfill any desire for a price. The three-word limit adds an element of cleverness/restraint.
- Punchline: Subverts the audience’s expectation by presenting a mundane and laborious task – painting a house. The humor comes from the unexpected clash between the implied sexual context and the practical request.
- Key Elements:
- Prostitution: The initial premise hinges on the audience’s understanding of what prostitutes typically offer.
- Expectation Subversion: The core of the joke is the surprise twist.
- Three-Word Limit: Adds a layer of challenge and emphasizes the conciseness of the punchline.
- Manual Labor: The chosen task is physically demanding and requires skill, contrasting with the typically envisioned "easy" services.
Comedic Enrichment & New Material:
Let’s play on the theme of unexpected requests and the contrast between the "obvious" and the practical.
Option 1: Witty Observation
"You know, that prostitute wasn’t necessarily wrong. £300 is a pretty reasonable rate to avoid painting your own house, especially if it’s that awful beige that everyone secretly hates but pretends to love. It’s a win-win, really: he got a house painted, she challenged societal norms. Next level Feminist thinking."
Option 2: New Joke (playing with the same setup)
A genie appears to a man and grants him one wish, but it must be expressed in exactly five words.
The man thinks hard and says, "I want world peace…fully insured."
(Why this works): This joke uses a similar formula: setup with high expectations, subverted by a practical, slightly absurd addition. The humor comes from the man’s desire for utopia tempered by a concern for insurance coverage.
Option 3: Amusing "Did You Know?" Factoid & Joke Extension
Fact: Did you know the most expensive paint in the world is often made with precious gems like lapis lazuli or malachite? Historically, Ultramarine blue (made from lapis) was more valuable than gold!
Joke Extension:
Building on the original joke, the prostitute replies:
"Sir, that’s a brilliant idea, but do you realize how much Ultramarine paint would cost?! We’re talking serious money. Forget three words, we need a crowd-funding campaign!"
(Why this works): The factoid adds an interesting layer. The extension plays with the increased absurdity. A prostitute painting your house is one thing…a prostitute painting your house with insanely expensive, historically-significant pigments? That’s a whole new level of unexpected. It highlights the already apparent mismatch between what you’d expect someone to ask of a prostitute.
Be Careful What You Offer:
By creating a new joke using the original joke’s premise, I am also able to take the original joke, and change it a little bit. One way this can be done is to change the monetary offering. Since this is already a joke that can be seen as suggestive, It can be seen as unethical to create an altered version that involves a minor, or an offering of drugs. If I change the monetary offering to something that is more closely related to sex trafficking, it will be deemed as unethical and morally wrong.