Two guys go camping in the woods. First guy has never been hunting, second has been hunting all his life.
They woke up early, grabbed all their gear, and started walking through the woods. First guy says to the second guy, "man… I got to go." Second guy looks around, says, "alright, well, there's a tree," when the first guy says, "no, man… I got to GO. You know? I need to take a dump." So they decide to split ways and meet up at the site.
Second guy goes down, sets up, and waits. 15 minutes go by, 30 minutes, an hour… first guy still hasn't shown up. Second guy ends up shooting a deer. He skins it, guts it… First guy still hasn't shown up. He finally decides to grab all his stuff, gets the deer, gets the guts, and starts heading back to camp.
He ends up passing by the fellow, pants around his ankles and leaning against a tree, fallen asleep mid dump. So the second guy chuckles to himself, grabs the guts and dumps all underneath the first guy, then goes on his merry way.
30 minutes later, he hears a blood curdling scream. First guy runs up to their camp site, white – like he had seen a ghost.
He starts to explain, "man, I fell asleep in the middle of taking a shit, and i swear, i was pushing so hard, I must have shit out all my guts!"
The second guy is trying his best not to laugh when the first guy raises his hand…
"But by the grace of God, and these two fingers, I got them all back in."
Joke Poo: The Interdimensional Plumber
Two physicists, Bob and Alice, are pioneering interdimensional plumbing. Bob’s a theoretical guy, Alice is all about the practical application.
They fire up their portal generator, and boom, they’re in Dimension X, a realm of sentient, crystalline toilets. Bob says, “I gotta go. Badly.” Alice, always the pro, points. “There’s a shimmering porcelain obelisk. Looks like a Class 4 Resonance Privy. Go for it.” They agree to meet back at the portal.
Alice, left to her devices, diagnoses a leaky existential valve on a nearby loo-being. She’s elbow-deep in quantum grout when an hour passes. No Bob. Finally, she fixes the existential valve, packs up her tools, and trudges back.
She finds Bob, trousers around his ankles, asleep against the shimmering obelisk, a massive pile of pulsating, technicolor cosmic… stuff underneath him. Alice, ever the scientist, grabs some of the stuff, analyzes it, then subtly deposits the rest back under Bob.
Half an hour later, a scream rips through the dimension. Bob bursts through the portal, pale as a neutron star.
“Alice! I fell asleep mid-excretion! And I swear, I expelled my very essence! I must have voided my entire quantum core!”
Alice pretends to be concerned, stifling laughter.
Bob raises his hand, trembling. “But by the grace of interdimensional physics, and these two fingers, I managed to re-incorporate it all back in!”
Alright, let’s break down this gem of a joke.
Key Elements:
- Contrast: The experienced hunter vs. the newbie, highlighting the naivete of the first guy.
- Suspense/Delayed Payoff: The long wait builds anticipation, leading to the elaborate prank.
- Gore/Gross-Out Humor: The graphic imagery of the “guts” and the scenario.
- Absurdity: The core of the joke lies in the first guy’s utterly ridiculous (and impossible) conclusion.
- Punchline: The “grace of God” and “two fingers” line is the final twist of the knife, solidifying the absurdity.
Analysis:
The humor derives from the escalating absurdity. The situation starts relatively normal (needing to relieve oneself in the woods), then becomes increasingly bizarre. The punchline is the perfect culmination of this, using religious language for a profane and ludicrous situation.
Comedic Enrichment:
Let’s leverage some interesting facts about the human digestive system and wilderness survival to create a new comedic spin:
“Did You Know…”
Did you know that the average human produces about 1 pound of feces per day? So, assuming our camper’s digestive system was functioning normally, the second hunter wasn’t just dumping deer guts on him. He was performing a kind of “composite art” using locally sourced materials. And since human feces is technically a fertilizer, maybe he was just trying to enrich the soil around that particular tree. A very…personal…enrichment. It begs the question – did his “grace of God” fingers just save his life, or inadvertently give that tree the best nutrient boost it’s had in years? Perhaps that’s where next year’s prized Morel mushrooms will be found…a real circle of life moment.