I answered and he said “What’s got a little dick and hangs down?” I replied, “Hm, not sure?” He says “a bat…… but what’s got a big dick and hangs up?” Then…
My friend accused me of stealing his thesaurus…
Not only was I shocked; I was taken aback, flabbergasted, and aghast. (OK it's not new, but it's my favorite). Joke Poo: My toddler accused me of using all of his Play-Doh……
As the ship started sinking, the captain addressed his crew:
"Is anyone here religious?" the captain asked. A crew member spoke up "I am. In fact I pray very often." "That's good," the captain replied. "You can pray while the rest of…
A patient asks his doctor, “Doctor, is there sex after death?”
The doctor replies, "That really depends on your pathologist." Joke Poo: The Data Deluge A programmer asks his AI, “AI, is there usable data after the internet collapses?” The AI replies, “That…
A woman in the washroom calls out to her husband
"I need your help with something!" He walks in on his wife sitting on the toilet. "Can you tie my shoe for me, please?" "You've gotta be kidding me…" the man replies….
Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet.
The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants. Joke Poo: The Pigeon’s Plight Two pigeons, Pierre and Claude, had a competition to see who could poop…
A seven-year-old boy is sitting at the dinner table with his parents. Suddenly he announces, “Me and Janie is getting married.”
"Oh?" says the mother. "And how old is Janie?" "Five," replies the boy. "And where will you live?" asks the mother. "Well," says the boy, "Janie's room is bigger than my room,…
A math professor noticed his kitchen sink at home was leaking.
A math professor noticed his kitchen sink at home was leaking. He called a plumber. The plumber came the next day, tightened a couple of nuts, and the sink worked perfectly again….
What did one racehorse say to the other after an 1/8 of a mile?
We won’t be here furlong. Okay, here’s my “Joke Poo” version: Joke Poo: The Excremential Dread What did the constipated toilet say to the overflowing septic tank? “I’m feeling a real blockage…
It’s my cake day, so here’s a favorite…
I remember the first time I made love to my wife. After we finished, I asked her: "Am I the first one?" She sighed, looked at me and said: "Why does everyone…