I got a new stick deodorant today. The instructions said: Remove cap and push up bottom. can barely walk, but when fart, the room smells lovely. Okay, here’s my attempt at a…
Category: Doctor
My wife asked how my doctor’s visit went. I said, “Pretty normal, except he told me I need to start wearing adult diapers.” She asked why.
I said, “Because apparently the baby ones are cutting off my circulation.” Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” version of your diaper joke, titled “Potty Training Woes”: Joke Poo: Potty…
The wife came back from buying her costume for a fancy dress party earlier.
"Stay there baby" she said to me, "while I nip upstairs and put it on to show you." She came back down, opened the living room door and stood before me. "Wow…
A woman waits anxiously outside the ICU for news about her husband.
Dr. Schrodinger: "There's good news and there's bad news." Wife: "What do you mean by that?" Dr. Schrodinger: *looks inside* "I'm afraid your husband is dead." Wife: *sobbing* "But what about the…
Raised in a Barn
A man walked into a bar in a small town out west and left the door standing wide open. The owner shouted at him, "Close that door! Were you raised in a…
Another man goes to another doctor
Doctor says I’ve got bad news and I’ve got worse news. Man says give me the worst news first. Doctor says you have inoperable cancer. Man tears up and says OK. What’s…
A man goes to the doctor
A man goes to the doctor and says "Doctor, doctor, I've had this uncontrollable urge to sing Barenaked Ladies songs." Doctor says "That's an unusual condition, how long have you had this…
A man goes to a doctor
A man goes to a doctor to get his results and the doctor says:"I have both good and bad news." "Please tell me the bad news first" says the patient… "You've got…
An old lady goes to the doctor and says ‘doc, I can’t stop farting. They’re silent with no smell, but I’ve let out 20 in the past 5 minutes sitting here’
The doc gives her some pills and tells her to come back next week. The next week the old lady comes back and says ‘doc, I took the pills, the farts are…
A blonde is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet
A blonde is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet. “I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat the procedure for two weeks….