The doctor does a bunch of tests and says I’ve got good news and bad news…. The guy says give me the good news first …. The doc says ….. You’re getting…
Category: Doctor
Man goes to doctor. Says he’s depressed.
Says he feels all alone in a threatening world where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain. The doctor says, “Treatment is simple. Great clown pagliacci is in town tonight! Go and…
A man is driving when he sees a hitchhiker on the side of the road
A man is driving in the early morning hours when he sees a hitchhiker at the side of the road, standing next to a suitcase, holding a bottle of rum. The driver…
How do apostrophes get dieseases?
They contract them. Okay, here’s my attempt: Joke Poo: How do compost heaps get so upset? They get in cahoots with the worms and decompose themselves! Alright, let’s dissect this grammatical gag!…
The doctor said, sadly, “Your dad is pronounced dead.”
I said, "Wow, I've been pronouncing it wrong this whole time." Joke Poo: The Chef’s Special The waiter sighed heavily, pushing the plate across the table. "Sir," he announced, "the chef has…
A woman goes to the doctor
The doctor asks her what the problem is. She says "I have these weird marks on my inner thighs." She lifts her skirt and spreads her legs, showing two large circles, one…
A new neighbor moves into the largest house on the street.
John, The un-official "Head" of the neighborhood, goes over to great the new guy. "Hello there, friend, I'm John. What's your name?" He asks. "My name's Alex. Pleased to meet you, John."…
I had to get blood drawn recently…
…and I explained to the phlebotomist that I am deeply bothered by IV's and blood drawing generally, and may need to sit for a minute after she was finished with the vials….
Just found out I’m colorblind.
Came right out the purple. Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo" inspired by your colorblind joke: Joke Poo: Just Diagnosed Just found out I’m addicted to collecting vintage toilet paper….
After 20 years of marriage, she finally turned on the lights…
A couple had been married for 20 years. Every time they had sex, the husband insisted on turning off the lights. The wife found it silly, but she respected his wish. However,…