"However, they're always silent and they never smell!" The doctor does a quick inspection, then prescribes her some pills. A week later, the same old lady goes back to the doctor. "I…
Category: Heaven
A guard in a Russian jail goes to the library and sees an old Jewish political prisoner reading a book.
"What are you reading, old man?" asks the guard. "I'm learning Hebrew," says the old man. "Why bother?" asks the guard. "You'll never get to Israel. You will die here." "I'm learning…
An old Jew dies and goes to Heaven.
He meets God, who turns out to be a jolly old chap, laughing and jesting constantly. They have a pleasant conversation, until the Jew tells a Holocaust joke. God gets a stern…
Talking with God
A little boy is saying his evening prayers before bed, and talking with God. Boy: "God, what is a million years like to you? " God: "Well, I've always existed, so the…
A man and his wife die and meet St Peter at the pearly gates
"Please could we get married again in heaven?" "I don't know about that, let me have a think" says St Peter A day goes by, and Peter agrees. He says, "I won't…
Three men are captured by cannibals.
They are taken to the chief, who says they must go into the forest and come back with a basket of the first fruit they find. Under guard, all three men return…
A man died and was met at the pearly gates of Heaven by St. Peter himself
St. Peter says to him, “Before you meet with God, I must tell you, we’ve looked over your life and noticed that you didn’t really do anything particularly good or bad. We’re…
Every night, this guy would stumble home blind drunk and lose his dinner right there in the kitchen sink.
Every night his wife would warn him, “One of these days, you’re gonna puke your guts out!” So one afternoon, she decides to teach him a lesson. She cuts up a chicken…
An elderly priest dies and is welcomed at the Pearly Gates by St Peter.
"Father Mulgrew, we've been expecting you," says the saint. "Please go with this angel. We've got you a lovely little retirement shack on the edge of the woods. It's a humble little…
The Devil sat at the gates of hell…
An old man suddenly arrived in a burst of flames, looking confused and lost. The Devil looked at his paperwork and frowned. He was unable to find this old man’s data file….