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Category: Heaven

An engineer wakes up in hell and thinks to himself. I’ve been a good person. I shouldn’t be here.

Posted on July 22, 2025 by Joke Poo

He petitions a demon who checks and say yeah it was a mistake but tough luck, you're here now. So the engineer makes the best of it, installing a light rail system…

A 50yo Woman Goes in for Cancer Surgery

Posted on July 21, 2025 by Joke Poo

On the table, she begins to pray, "Dear Lord, please let me get through the surgery all right." She hears that voice, "Don't worry my child, you will live to be 87yo."…

A Bishop, a Pope and Mother Superior are standing at the gates of Heaven.

Posted on July 20, 2025 by Joke Poo

St. Peter welcomes the all and asks them to have a seat and wait. The three looked each other, confused. Just then a truck driver arrived. At. Peter lit up and warmly…

3 nuns are standing at the gates of heaven, St Peter says they’ll be allowed in if they can each answer a single question

Posted on July 20, 2025 by Joke Poo

He turns to the first num and asks "who was the first man on earth"? "Adam" she replies. Trumpets sound, the sky lights up, and the gates open for her to enter….

A Calvinist dies and goes to heaven.

Posted on July 19, 2025 by Joke Poo

Upon entering heaven, he sees two lines leading to the pearly gates: the free will line, and the predestination line. Naturally he goes to the predestination line. While waiting in queue, an…

Pope Innocent XII died and went to Heaven

Posted on July 16, 2025 by Joke Poo

As he passes the pearly gates, and angel asks, "Aren't you Innocent VI? He replies, "I'm not, that, Innocent." Okay, here’s my attempt at “Joke Poo,” inspired by the Pope Innocent XII…

God forgot something !

Posted on July 13, 2025 by Joke Poo

So God created heaven and earth and dropped Adam and Eve in the Garden. God comes back 4 days later. Says, "Hey guys, I forgot a couple things. Who wants to pee…

Politician dies and gets to chose between Heaven and Hell (it’s not that one)

Posted on July 3, 2025 by Joke Poo

Politician dies and is given the choice between going to Heaven or Hell, but first he is given a tour of both places. The tour of Heaven goes as expected, it's all…

A woman dies just after finding out her husband was having an affair

Posted on June 27, 2025 by Joke Poo

When she makes it to heaven, the angel at the gate asked her if she can spell "Love" before letting her in. And she does so. Eventually she earns her wings and…

Two Jerks Die and Arrive at the Pearly Gates.

Posted on June 24, 2025 by Joke Poo

St Peter checks his notes and lets them know that the chances of their being let in are slim because of their extensive history of burglary, theft, and stealing. The guys plead…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • I decided to quit my job, and travel the world until I run out of savings.
  • My daughter came home to tell me her principal had left…
  • Why should you never brew coffee for a fortnight?
  • Ive renamed my toilet Jim instead of John
  • The animals were making snacks to take to the cinema…
  • A frog and a chicken go to the library….
  • The Medical Exam
  • A man goes to the doctor because he gets so enormous erection every time he sees a woman, that everyone notices.
  • Thinking of opening a budget Japanese restaurant
  • Mick Jagger: great singer, terrible interior decorator
  • I’m trying to beat The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, but my weapons keep breaking.
  • ​A blind man went to a restaurant.
  • A guy walks into a butcher’s and asks, “Do you have sheep testicles?”
  • Blonde goes to the doctor
  • What do you call?
  • I just got home after taking my wife to a Caribbean island.
  • Knock knock. Who’s there?
  • How much does a chimney cost?
  • Help! Post your best/worst “Your Mom” jokes here, please!
  • A woman walks into a clock repair shop
  • A guy buys a brand new Corvette, and takes it for a spin on a highway.
  • What was Marvin Gaye’s book repair service called?
  • My doctor recommended a diet rich in pecans, almonds, pistachios, and similar foods.
  • A non-sequitur walks into an airport…
  • The IRS sends their auditor to audit a synagogue.
  • What do u call an escort that comes via uber eats?
  • Putting too many children together in a small space…
  • Batman and Robin
  • Yo mama so fat
  • Did you hear …
  • Teacher asks her class “What expands ten times it’s size when excited?”
  • How can you tell if you’re talking to a shop steward or a chemist?
  • Oh crap! I just ran a red light!
  • My Grandfather
  • Why are hippies such major consumers of Tums?
  • A man and his wife are at a doctor’s office
  • How do you make a ginger snap?
  • Did you hear someone broke into the police station and stole all the toilets?
  • What is it called when the band fires you as a sound tech because you put delay on the drums?
  • Doctor and the Tramp
  • 2 men are sitting at a bar at the top of a skyscraper.
  • An old lady goes to the doctor and complains about constant farting.
  • Helping my grandfather fix his rotary phone yesterday reminded me of a favorite old joke.
  • Why can’t Miss Piggy count to 70?
  • Why was 69 afraid of 70?
  • A man tells his doctor that his wife hasn’t had sex with him in six months. The doctor then has the wife come in, and asks her why she doesn’t want to have sex with her husband any more.
  • Why did the Jedi fight the Sikh?
  • Life lesson
  • The man who stutters tremendously finds a horse in the Brooklyn.
  • Why does Helen Keller play the piano with one hand?

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