I told her, “Look, babe, I’m the man of this house. I wear the pants around here, and starting tomorrow, things are gonna change!” She said, “Okay, I’m fine with that! What…
Category: Husband
My wife just got back from a thrilling trip to Walmart.
My wife walked in from Walmart, slammed the grocery bags on the counter, and fumed, "That cashier was a complete and utter b*tch!" Trying to be helpful, I asked, "Just to be…
A woman walks into a store and asks, “Can I have a watch for my husband, please ?”
Salesperson: "Sorry, we don't barter." Joke Poo: A snail slithers into a used car dealership and asks, “Can I get some racing stripes on this clunker, please?” Salesperson: “Sorry, we don’t cater…
“Why I’m Divorced” (as related by a co-worker)
Morning of my birthday I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my husband would be pleasant and wish me 'Happy Birthday,' and possibly have a little gift for me. Turned out, he barely…
Honest mister! All I Did Was Tell Her!
Upon arriving home, a husband was urgently met at the door by his crying wife. Crashing into his arms she sobbed: "It's the pharmacist. He insulted me terribly this morning on the…
A lady walks into a pet store, looking for an attack dog to protect her and her husband.
The owner says, "I’ve got something better—a highly trained kookaburra!" Skeptical, the lady watches as the owner demonstrates: "Kookaburra, pencil!" The bird dives and shreds the pencil to bits. Then, "Kookaburra, phone…
On a business trip to Manhattan, a man met a beautiful woman and proposed right away.
She said, “But we don’t know anything about each other!” He smiled, “That’s alright, we’ll learn as we go.” They married, honeymooned at a fancy resort, and one morning by the pool,…
A woman leaves a late-night bar in the pouring rain and hops into a cab.
The driver, a tormented 40-year-old woman, looks at her and says, "Perfect timing, you’re just like The Amazing Sharon Smith!" The woman, wiping rain off her coat, asks, "Who’s that?" The driver…
I tell my wife to buy good quality products but she always gets cheap junk…
…The only thing in our house that doesn't suck is the vacuum cleaner. Joke Poo: I tell my dog to only pee on healthy, green grass… …The only thing he avoids in…
I told my wife about the time I tried to convince my friend to wear smart shoes.
“Were they swayed?” she asked. “No, they were leather.” Joke Poo: The Analyst’s Couch I told my therapist about the time I tried to explain the concept of fungible tokens to my…