A guy has been in severe pain all over his body for months. Nothing has helped. At yet another follow-up, he unloads on his doctor. “Doc, I’ve had CT scans, MRIs, X-rays,…
Category: Long
A man goes to the doctor because he gets so enormous erection every time he sees a woman, that everyone notices.
The doctor says, "I have a solution. Let's tape it to your left leg so nobody notices the bulge." The man leaves the clinic, sees a woman, and whoosh, his left leg…
A blind man went to a restaurant.
The owner asked, "Would you like a menu?" The blind man replied, "I'm blind, just bring me one of your dirty forks. I will smell it and order." The confused owner went…
A non-sequitur walks into an airport…
A non-sequitur is taking a flight from Phoenix to Atlanta with a stopover in Dallas. He’s going for business, to ensure quality of the inventory in the Atlanta warehouse. On the day…
The IRS sends their auditor to audit a synagogue.
The auditor is doing all the checks, and then turns to the Rabbi and says, “I noticed that you buy a lot of candles.” “Yes,” answered the Rabbi. “Well, Rabbi, what do…
My Grandfather
When I was about five or six years old my parents were in the midst of a separation and eventual divorce. On weekends my mom would take me to her parents’ (my…
Doctor and the Tramp
I saw this joke in the book: "So Long Yugoslavia", and found it funny: "It happened that the doctor and the tramp (not all tramps are poor) bought a piece of land…
A man tells his doctor that his wife hasn’t had sex with him in six months. The doctor then has the wife come in, and asks her why she doesn’t want to have sex with her husband any more.
The woman tells him, "For the past six months, every morning I take a cab to work. I don't have any money, so the cab driver asks me, 'So are you going…
The machine was very smart
A man goes into the pharmacy with a sore elbow and asked the pharmacist for advice on how to treat it. The pharmacist shows him new machine they just got in. "Its…
A farmer goes out to cut, split and stack firewood.
After several hours of hard work with chainsaw and log-splitter, he has cords of wood stacked all along one wall of the farmhouse. As he is finishing up, he notices an elderly…