I got pulled over for speeding today. Before the officer could even say a word, I pleaded, "Please, let me explain. The woman in the back seat is my mother-in-law. She's been living with us for the past three months, and today she finally decided to return to her own house. I need to get her there before she changes her mind. That's why I was speeding."
The cop looked at me, then at the back seat, and nodded.
"Sir," he said, "get back in your car. I'm going to give you a full police escort. We are not taking any chances today."
Joke Poo: The Exorcist’s Escort
I got pulled over for recklessly driving a beat-up station wagon through the cemetery gates. Before the gravedigger could even yell, I wailed, “Please, listen! The woman in the back is possessed! She was just exhumed for a ritual, and the binding circle broke. I need to get her to the nearest priest before she starts levitating and spitting pea soup all over the town! That’s why I was flooring it through hallowed ground!”
The gravedigger squinted at the car, then peered nervously at the burlap sack twitching on the backseat. He paled visibly.
“Right,” he said, reaching for his radio. “Get back in your car, mister. I’m calling Father O’Malley and the Volunteer Fire Brigade. We’re not taking any chances with that kind of demonic activity around here today.”
Alright, let’s break down this joke and then whip up something new and amusing based on its core elements.
Joke Dissection:
- Premise: A driver is pulled over for speeding.
- Setup: The driver offers an elaborate (and relatable) excuse about needing to get his mother-in-law back to her own home before she changes her mind.
- Punchline: The police officer, instead of issuing a ticket, offers a full police escort, clearly understanding the urgency of the situation and implicitly acknowledging the shared experience of dealing with difficult relatives.
- Key Elements:
- Speeding: A relatable everyday transgression.
- Mother-in-law: The comedic villain/source of stress. A classic trope representing difficult family relationships.
- Desperation: The driver’s over-the-top explanation highlights his desperation.
- Cop’s Understanding/Empathy: The unexpected response that validates the driver’s plea and elevates the humor.
Comedic Enrichment:
Let’s leverage the mother-in-law element and the cop’s empathy for a ‘Did You Know’ style observation:
Did you know: In ancient Rome, there was no official term for “mother-in-law” because Romans believed that after marriage, the wife’s mother simply became the husband’s problem? Archaeologists have unearthed several tablets with scribbled notes like, “Send more wine. Also, her.” Perhaps that’s why Roman roads were so straight – they were trying to escape the in-laws as quickly as possible. Some modern police departments are even considering adding “Mother-in-Law Avoidance Maneuvers” to their driver training curriculum, citing a correlation between unexpected U-turns and family visit notifications. They’re also lobbying for a new traffic signal: a flashing silhouette of a woman with a handbag, indicating “Proceed with extreme caution.”