Three anthropologists are exploring deep in the jungle and are captured by a previously unknown, war loving, aboriginal tribe. They are taken to the village, presented to the chief and tied to trees. After much deliberation amongst the village elders the chief approaches the smallest one, puts his spear under the guys chin and asks, “Death or Mongo?” The poor guy stutters, “MMMONGO.” The chief turns to 50 of his fiercest warriors and yells “Mongo”. The warriors all start hooping and hollering, untie the guy and bend him over a fallen tree, staking his hands and feet to the ground, and each one takes a turn having his way with the guy. When they are done they release him alive back into the jungle. Then the chief does the same thing to the next smallest one. This time he draws a little blood from under the guys chin and again asks, “Death or Mongo?” This guy seeing there are now a hundred warriors gathered mutters thru tears, “MMMONGO.“ Of course the chief turns to his warriors and yells, “MONGO.” Once again the warriors raising a ruckus, untie the guy and stake him spread eagled on the ground and all 100 take their turn abusing the guy and some even go twice. After which they release him alive but bleeding profusely back into the jungle. Now the chief approaches the last one, the biggest of the three and pokes him slightly in the chest and under his chin with his spear drawing a significant amount of blood and asks in his most menacing voice, “Death or Mongo?” Now this guy seeing there are now two hundred warriors gathered is sweating like a whore in church. He spits in the chieftains face and says, “FUCK YOU, DEATH”. The chief smiling, slowly wipes the spittle off his face, turns to his two hundred warriors who are waiting with bated breath, raises his spear above his head with two hands and yells, “DEATH, BY MONGO”.
Okay, here’s a new joke based on your prompt, titled “Joke Poo,” riffing on the original “Death or Mongo” joke:
Joke Poo: Free Wi-Fi or The Algorithm
Three social media influencers are trekking through Silicon Valley, trying to find the ultimate viral sensation when they’re ambushed by a group of rogue programmers. The programmers, notorious for their unorthodox coding practices, drag the influencers to their underground lair and strap them to chairs. Their leader, a pale, sleep-deprived individual with glowing eyes, approaches the first influencer, a petite beauty guru. He holds up a glowing USB drive and asks, “Free Wi-Fi, or…The Algorithm?”
Terrified of losing her connection, the beauty guru squeaks, “F-Free Wi-Fi!”
The programmer nods grimly. He turns to his coding team and shouts, “Optimize her feed for cat videos! Show her nothing but sponsored posts for teeth whitening and detox teas!”
The team cheers, unstraps her, and pumps her phone full of the promised Wi-Fi… along with a devastating algorithm update that makes her engagement plummet. She’s released back onto the streets, her career in shambles.
The programmer then approaches the next influencer, a fitness guru known for his chiseled abs. He repeats the question, holding up the USB drive, “Free Wi-Fi, or…The Algorithm?”
Sweating profusely, remembering the last influencer, the fitness guru whimpers, “F-Free Wi-Fi!”
The programmer cackles, “Very well! Flood his feed with endless workout videos and motivational quotes…but make sure every single one is an advertisement for the competitor’s protein powder!”
The team unstraps him and unleashes the “Free Wi-Fi,” which quickly destroys his carefully curated brand. He’s left wandering the streets, shilling for the wrong brand.
Finally, the programmer faces the last influencer, a cynical gaming streamer with a massive following. He jabs the USB drive towards him and growls, “Free Wi-Fi, or…The Algorithm?”
The gaming streamer stares him down, spits on the floor, and yells, “I’ve seen enough! Give me The Algorithm! I can handle anything you throw at me!”
The programmer smiles, a truly disturbing sight. He turns to his team and yells, “The Algorithm! By ‘Community Standards’!”
Alright, let’s dissect this rather… intense joke.
Joke Analysis:
- Setup: Three anthropologists are captured and given a grim choice: “Death or Mongo?”
- Punchline: The first two choose “Mongo” (implied to be a brutal, collective sexual assault), hoping for the less permanent option. The third chooses death, only to learn that “Death by Mongo” is the tribe’s preferred method of execution.
- Humor: The humor relies on the audience’s initial misinterpretation of “Mongo” as a lesser evil, the escalating horror as the first two victims experience it, and the ultimate twist that avoids the anticipated “heroic” choice. The dark humor is intensified by the graphic imagery and the contrast between the anthropologists’ academic background and their helpless situation.
Key Elements:
- “Mongo”: The unknown term, crucial for the misdirection.
- Anthropologists: The victims, representing knowledge and intellect rendered useless in a primitive, violent context.
- The Tribal Chief: The orchestrator of the macabre scenario, wielding the power of life and unpleasant death.
- Escalation: The growing number of warriors intensifies the dread and the horror of the outcome.
Comedic Enrichment:
Given the sensitivities involved, I’ll steer clear of directly replicating the original joke’s tone. Instead, I’ll focus on the concept of misdirection and using unexpected definitions.
New Humor (Witty Observation):
- “I thought I was fluent in internet acronyms. Then someone asked me if I was DTF. I confidently replied, ‘Down To Fish,’ thinking we were going on a relaxing angling trip. Turns out, the ‘fish’ were very different than I anticipated, and my knowledge of fly-fishing was woefully irrelevant to the situation.”
Explanation of the Connection:
This observation plays on the same principle as the original joke. The acronym “DTF” is initially misinterpreted, leading to an unexpected and humorous outcome. The humor arises from the juxtaposition of the innocent interpretation (“Down To Fish”) with the actual meaning, similar to how “Mongo” initially seems like a lesser evil but proves far worse. It replaces graphic violence with awkward misunderstanding, while retaining the core element of misdirection.