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Category: Doctor

My late grandfather’s favorite joke. A man is in an insane asylum…

Posted on August 2, 2025 by Joke Poo

A man is in an insane asylum and is assessed by a doctor for release. All the staff says he's totally fine to be returned to normal life, and this is his…

In Korea, a man always avoided military service by failing his health test…

Posted on August 2, 2025 by Joke Poo

Since he was in perfect health, the official in charge of conscription asked him how he avoided military service. The man replied, "Why, I don't know. I always bet the doctor $500…

There was a murder in our town. People often Suspected that it was either the police or the doctor….

Posted on August 2, 2025 by Joke Poo

 but it was the artist who I found sketchy. Joke Poo: Title: The Potting Shed Mystery There was a blight decimating our rose bushes. People often suspected it was either the aphids…

I told my doctor I have suicidal tendencies

Posted on August 2, 2025 by Joke Poo

he told me "from now on you gotta pay in advance" Okay, here’s a “Joke Poo” version of your joke, titled aptly: Joke Poo: The Therapist’s Take I told my therapist I…

[Classic] man goes to the doctor. He say “Hey doc, I have a problem

Posted on August 2, 2025 by Joke Poo

Doc: Whats the problem? Man: Well i woke up this morning and now I have 5 penises. (Man drops pants to show doctor. Sure enough, 5 penises) Doc: Good God man, how…

Coffee and Doctor

Posted on August 2, 2025 by Joke Poo

A man goes to the doctor and says, “Doc, every time I drink coffee, I get this sharp pain in my eye.” The doctor thinks for a second and says, “Have you…

On my 45th birthday, my wife whispered, “So, are you finally ready to try some butt stuff?“ I said, “Hell yeah I am!“

Posted on August 1, 2025 by Joke Poo

She said, “Great! I scheduled your colonoscopy for next week.” Okay, here’s my “Joke Poo” version: Joke Poo: The Tax Audit On our 10th anniversary, my accountant winked and said, “So, are…

I don’t care if you’re disabled

Posted on August 1, 2025 by Joke Poo

When I first became disabled, it weighed on my first wife heavily. She struggled with it more and more until we eventually divorced. So when I met my second wife, I was…

How many eye doctors does it take to change a lightbulb?

Posted on August 1, 2025 by Joke Poo

One? Or two? Onnnnnee? Or twwoooo..? Okay, here’s my “Joke Poo” version, titled “Toilet Paper Math”: Toilet Paper Math How many mathematicians does it take to figure out how much toilet paper…

I recently learned that my yoga instructor is the #1 Kegel teacher in the world.

Posted on August 1, 2025 by Joke Poo

Even more impressive – she’s self-taut. Joke Poo: Title: My Plumber’s Secret I recently learned that my plumber is the #1 toilet clog remover in the tri-state area. Even more impressive –…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • A young man walks into a pharmacy and asks for condoms…
  • An old lady goes to the doctor and says ‘doc, I can’t stop farting. They’re silent with no smell, but I’ve let out 20 in the past 5 minutes sitting here’
  • Girlfriend asked if she was fat so I proved my love in the most literal way
  • A blonde is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet
  • What’s the scariest thing a gun toting, pegging enthusiast, broke ass girlfriend can say to you?
  • Yo mama’s so fat… whenever she went to the circus…
  • What’s the difference between a guy at a gay bar, a Type 2 diabetic, and a job applicant at a construction site?
  • Patient goes to doctor for test results.
  • A farmer was selling apple seeds that were supposed to make you smarter.
  • A man walks into a bar and orders a whiskey. He takes it outside to enjoy on the bench.
  • Two old friends run into each other on the street.
  • The burley gates of heaven
  • Did you hear about the price of chimneys these days?!
  • The Captain’s Red Shirt
  • Little Johnny’s neighbor
  • Horse
  • Your momma’s so fat…
  • I saw a dwarf climbing down a rope from a prison rooftop.
  • A Jewish woman came to her rabi, visibly upset.
  • Teacher asks Billy a math question
  • I find people can be so judgemental these days….
  • The butcher shop
  • September is Alzheimer’s awareness month
  • I saw a bison in the gym doing a workout the other day….
  • A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt.
  • Mexican Mayonnaise
  • I hate charging my electric car.
  • One day I called home and my kid answered. I asked where’s mom?
  • An old man comes to confession and says to the priest:
  • A Knock Knock Joke
  • What’s common between a testicular joke and testicular cancer?
  • A guy walks in a store looking to buy some beer
  • One afternoon, a teenage couple was on a hike in the woods.
  • Wish me luck, everyone! I have to meet with some people working at my bank in a few minutes. If all goes well I’ll pay off every debt I have, and still have enough to retire early.
  • A penguin was driving through a small town when his car broke down…
  • Not all construction tasks are equally enjoyable.
  • In a carpenter’s workshop, one apprentice makes a bet that he can recognize any type of wood just by its smell. They blindfold him and hand him the first board… the apprentice smells it confidently and says: “Oak!”
  • I was admitted into the hospital and as I settled into my bed, I overheard my “roommate” using the speakerphone to order breakfast from the cafeteria
  • My mom went on vacation to Florida
  • School year is like pregnancy.
  • A man visits his lawyer
  • A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer.
  • Election results are like group project grades
  • A librarian is having a discussion with a cobra…
  • Job interview question: Why ask for a high salary with no experience?
  • The other day I needed to pay a visit to a public toilet
  • A man doesn’t come home from work Friday, instead he spends the whole weekend out fishing with his buddies.
  • A hunter walks into a pub and says that he is the greatest hunter, he can recognize any game animal by its fur, and if they show him the wound, he can even tell which weapon killed it in exchange for a drink.
  • Guy : Doctor, my Girlfriend is pregnant but we always use protection and the rubber never broke. How is it possible?
  • (An original joke best read aloud) My friend got a job as one of those sushi girls. Y’know, where guys eat sushi off her naked.

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