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Category: Doctor

Man goes to doctor. Says he’s depressed.

Posted on June 16, 2025 by Joke Poo

Says he feels all alone in a threatening world where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain. The doctor says, “Treatment is simple. Great clown pagliacci is in town tonight! Go and…

A man is driving when he sees a hitchhiker on the side of the road

Posted on June 16, 2025 by Joke Poo

A man is driving in the early morning hours when he sees a hitchhiker at the side of the road, standing next to a suitcase, holding a bottle of rum. The driver…

How do apostrophes get dieseases?

Posted on June 16, 2025 by Joke Poo

They contract them. Okay, here’s my attempt: Joke Poo: How do compost heaps get so upset? They get in cahoots with the worms and decompose themselves! Alright, let’s dissect this grammatical gag!…

The doctor said, sadly, “Your dad is pronounced dead.”

Posted on June 14, 2025 by Joke Poo

I said, "Wow, I've been pronouncing it wrong this whole time." Joke Poo: The Chef’s Special The waiter sighed heavily, pushing the plate across the table. "Sir," he announced, "the chef has…

A woman goes to the doctor

Posted on June 14, 2025 by Joke Poo

The doctor asks her what the problem is. She says "I have these weird marks on my inner thighs." She lifts her skirt and spreads her legs, showing two large circles, one…

A new neighbor moves into the largest house on the street.

Posted on June 14, 2025 by Joke Poo

John, The un-official "Head" of the neighborhood, goes over to great the new guy. "Hello there, friend, I'm John. What's your name?" He asks. "My name's Alex. Pleased to meet you, John."…

I had to get blood drawn recently…

Posted on June 13, 2025 by Joke Poo

…and I explained to the phlebotomist that I am deeply bothered by IV's and blood drawing generally, and may need to sit for a minute after she was finished with the vials….

Just found out I’m colorblind.

Posted on June 12, 2025 by Joke Poo

Came right out the purple. Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo" inspired by your colorblind joke: Joke Poo: Just Diagnosed Just found out I’m addicted to collecting vintage toilet paper….

After 20 years of marriage, she finally turned on the lights…

Posted on June 12, 2025 by Joke Poo

A couple had been married for 20 years. Every time they had sex, the husband insisted on turning off the lights. The wife found it silly, but she respected his wish. However,…

(Long) Two leprechauns knocked on the door of an Irish convent…

Posted on June 11, 2025 by Joke Poo

The door opens, and an astonished elderly nun looks out. "Pardon me, Sister," says one, "but would you happen to have a nun living here who's about this high"? He holds his…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • One afternoon, a teenage couple was on a hike in the woods.
  • Wish me luck, everyone! I have to meet with some people working at my bank in a few minutes. If all goes well I’ll pay off every debt I have, and still have enough to retire early.
  • A penguin was driving through a small town when his car broke down…
  • Not all construction tasks are equally enjoyable.
  • In a carpenter’s workshop, one apprentice makes a bet that he can recognize any type of wood just by its smell. They blindfold him and hand him the first board… the apprentice smells it confidently and says: “Oak!”
  • I was admitted into the hospital and as I settled into my bed, I overheard my “roommate” using the speakerphone to order breakfast from the cafeteria
  • My mom went on vacation to Florida
  • School year is like pregnancy.
  • A man visits his lawyer
  • A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer.
  • Election results are like group project grades
  • A librarian is having a discussion with a cobra…
  • Job interview question: Why ask for a high salary with no experience?
  • The other day I needed to pay a visit to a public toilet
  • A man doesn’t come home from work Friday, instead he spends the whole weekend out fishing with his buddies.
  • A hunter walks into a pub and says that he is the greatest hunter, he can recognize any game animal by its fur, and if they show him the wound, he can even tell which weapon killed it in exchange for a drink.
  • Guy : Doctor, my Girlfriend is pregnant but we always use protection and the rubber never broke. How is it possible?
  • (An original joke best read aloud) My friend got a job as one of those sushi girls. Y’know, where guys eat sushi off her naked.
  • What did the ghost of the Redditor say when looking at it’s own corpse?
  • What’s yellow and really hurts if it gets in your eye?
  • What a nice couple, how long have you been married?
  • Three cougars
  • Why did the BYU student come inside?
  • Reminder: terrorist jokes are tasteless and unfunny
  • Would make a joke about fencing
  • Possums are from the south
  • Did you know they just ruled dad jokes to be unconstitutional?
  • Boudreaux goes to the doctor
  • I called off work today when I saw the date
  • I hate people who take drugs
  • A very pregnant lady boarded a bus and noticed a young man smiling at her.
  • A gynecologist noticed his new patient was a little nervous.
  • The only two white actors in Black Panther are Martin Freeman, who played Bilbo Baggins, and Andy Serkis who played Gollum.
  • San Francisco, 1895. A man on the outskirts of town hires a cab driver to ride to the train station. No one wants to go that far, but one driver agrees.
  • A wife leaned into her husband and purred, “Have you ever seen twenty dollars all crumpled up?”
  • I promised my son…
  • Jogger sees fire
  • A salesman, Computer engineer and a system programmer
  • General Secretary Khrushchev and President Nixon met and started boasting about the greatness of their countries.
  • An American walks into a bar & orders a beer
  • A farmer’s son joins reddit and finds the r/Jokes subreddit
  • My Wife Always Gives 100% Sound Advice
  • A Caveman and a bear walk into a bar
  • I wrote a song about being naked.
  • Girlfriend needs a seat!
  • I’m So Old…
  • I’m surprised there’s not a lawn company called Paradise City…
  • A careless captain let his ship go adrift, and it crashed into the harbor.
  • I’m not saying that modern life has ruined our kids……
  • A plane is flying to Toronto when a blonde in economy moves up and sits in first class.

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