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Category: Doctor

I have a cast on my arm and people keep asking what happened. What are some funny responses I can give?

Posted on August 17, 2025 by Joke Poo

The two I use so far are: "I fought a bear and lost" "They say to grab the bull by the horns, I didn't know that they didn't mean that literally" Okay,…

I throw up when ever I hear a joke

Posted on August 16, 2025 by Joke Poo

It's a gag reflex Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” based on the “I throw up when I hear a joke” joke: Joke Poo: The Bottom Line I poop whenever…

The fragile memory

Posted on August 16, 2025 by Joke Poo

An elderly couple noticed that they were getting a lot more forgetful, so they decided to go to the doctor. The doctor told them that they should start writing things down so…

My Yearly Medical Exam

Posted on August 16, 2025 by Joke Poo

Nurse: How much do you weigh? Me: 135 pounds. She puts me on the scale… Turns out I weigh 180. Nurse: Your height? Me: 5'4". She measures me… Apparently, I’m 5'2". She…

A nice Jewish boy

Posted on August 16, 2025 by Joke Poo

A nice Jewish boy has big dreams and works hard all his life, finally succeeding in winning the presidential election. He invites his mother to the inauguration. The moment comes, and his…

A mother asks her doctor “What should I do?”

Posted on August 15, 2025 by Joke Poo

"My son keeps eating electrical cords." Doctors says, "Ground him until he conducts himself properly" Okay, here’s my attempt at a “Joke Poo” based on your electrical cord joke, titled “Compost Crisis”:…

An old lady goes to the doctor and says ‘doc, I can’t stop farting. They’re silent with no smell, but I’ve let out 20 in the past 5 minutes sitting here’

Posted on August 15, 2025 by Joke Poo

The doc gives her some pills and tells her to come back next week. The next week the old lady comes back and says ‘doc, I took the pills, the farts are…

I just had a physical. The doctor said “Don’t eat anything fatty. I said, like bacon and burgers?”

Posted on August 14, 2025 by Joke Poo

"No fatty, don't eat anything!" Joke Poo: The Librarian I went to the library to return some overdue books. The librarian said, “Don’t whisper in here! It’s a library!” I said, “Like,…

A bear and a rabbit are conscripted into the army, and waiting for their medical checkup.

Posted on August 14, 2025 by Joke Poo

The rabbit says to the bear, “listen, I really don't want to go to war. Can you just kick me in the leg, so that when I go in to see the…

Doctor asked me if I’ve been feeling myself lately

Posted on August 14, 2025 by Joke Poo

I said I had, but it wasn't as much fun as feeling my girlfriend Okay, here’s a “Joke Poo” version of the joke, titled “App Tester Blues”: Joke Poo: App Tester Blues…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • Did you hear about the price of chimneys these days?!
  • The Captain’s Red Shirt
  • Little Johnny’s neighbor
  • Horse
  • Your momma’s so fat…
  • I saw a dwarf climbing down a rope from a prison rooftop.
  • A Jewish woman came to her rabi, visibly upset.
  • Teacher asks Billy a math question
  • I find people can be so judgemental these days….
  • The butcher shop
  • September is Alzheimer’s awareness month
  • I saw a bison in the gym doing a workout the other day….
  • A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt.
  • Mexican Mayonnaise
  • I hate charging my electric car.
  • One day I called home and my kid answered. I asked where’s mom?
  • An old man comes to confession and says to the priest:
  • A Knock Knock Joke
  • What’s common between a testicular joke and testicular cancer?
  • A guy walks in a store looking to buy some beer
  • One afternoon, a teenage couple was on a hike in the woods.
  • Wish me luck, everyone! I have to meet with some people working at my bank in a few minutes. If all goes well I’ll pay off every debt I have, and still have enough to retire early.
  • A penguin was driving through a small town when his car broke down…
  • Not all construction tasks are equally enjoyable.
  • In a carpenter’s workshop, one apprentice makes a bet that he can recognize any type of wood just by its smell. They blindfold him and hand him the first board… the apprentice smells it confidently and says: “Oak!”
  • I was admitted into the hospital and as I settled into my bed, I overheard my “roommate” using the speakerphone to order breakfast from the cafeteria
  • My mom went on vacation to Florida
  • School year is like pregnancy.
  • A man visits his lawyer
  • A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer.
  • Election results are like group project grades
  • A librarian is having a discussion with a cobra…
  • Job interview question: Why ask for a high salary with no experience?
  • The other day I needed to pay a visit to a public toilet
  • A man doesn’t come home from work Friday, instead he spends the whole weekend out fishing with his buddies.
  • A hunter walks into a pub and says that he is the greatest hunter, he can recognize any game animal by its fur, and if they show him the wound, he can even tell which weapon killed it in exchange for a drink.
  • Guy : Doctor, my Girlfriend is pregnant but we always use protection and the rubber never broke. How is it possible?
  • (An original joke best read aloud) My friend got a job as one of those sushi girls. Y’know, where guys eat sushi off her naked.
  • What did the ghost of the Redditor say when looking at it’s own corpse?
  • What’s yellow and really hurts if it gets in your eye?
  • What a nice couple, how long have you been married?
  • Three cougars
  • Why did the BYU student come inside?
  • Reminder: terrorist jokes are tasteless and unfunny
  • Would make a joke about fencing
  • Possums are from the south
  • Did you know they just ruled dad jokes to be unconstitutional?
  • Boudreaux goes to the doctor
  • I called off work today when I saw the date
  • I hate people who take drugs

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