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Category: Doctor

Me alcoholic ? No way.

Posted on August 14, 2025 by Joke Poo

Many people ask why I drink so much. It's because I have a medical condition where my body doesn't produce it's own alcohol, whereby I have to take supplements. Okay, here’s my…

Man walks into a vet with his bird and says, “Is my bird dead?”

Posted on August 13, 2025 by Joke Poo

Vet looks over the bird and says, "Yep, your bird is dead." The man, distraught, begs for a second opinion. Vet shrugs and says, "Sure. If you insist." The vet brings in…

My friend says her South Indian savory crepes cure all ills. Today she is sick and I have the recipe…

Posted on August 13, 2025 by Joke Poo

She’s about to get a dosa, her own medicine. Okay, here’s my “Joke Poo” version: Joke Poo: Coffee Crisis My coworker swears his artisanal pour-over coffee fixes any workplace problem. Today, the…

Old war-scarred general inspecting a new Army training base. It is state-of art, even has a psychologic evaluation facility.

Posted on August 13, 2025 by Joke Poo

General enter it and see a full bathtub of water and a table with fork, spoon and a cup. "What this for?" "You see", explains doctor, "When we get a new recruit,…

Always Give 100%…

Posted on August 13, 2025 by Joke Poo

unless you're donating blood. Okay, here’s my “Joke Poo” riffing on the “Always Give 100%” joke: Joke Poo: Always Give 100%… …unless you’re baking a soufflé. Then, meticulously measure everything and precisely…

I went to the Doctor’s and he asked me if I have a problem with drinking alcohol?

Posted on August 12, 2025 by Joke Poo

I said "No, easiest thing I have ever done." Okay, here’s my “Joke Poo” version: Joke Poo: The Diaper Dilemma I went to the Pediatrician, and she asked me if I have…

My doctor told me I have a vitamin B12 deficiency.

Posted on August 12, 2025 by Joke Poo

He told me to go buy supplement pills. But I'm smarter than that, I still have vitamin B6 supplements left, i'll just take two. Okay, here’s my “Joke Poo” version based on…

My dad caught me smoking, and he said, “Did you know that smoking a cigarette decreases your life expectancy by 50 years?

Posted on August 11, 2025 by Joke Poo

 "No, it doesn't," I said. "Yes, it does," he replied, pulling out a gun. Okay, I’m up for the challenge. Here’s my attempt, playing on the expectation of health warnings and the…

Horny dogs…

Posted on August 11, 2025 by Joke Poo

Her dog came in heat and she was concerned about keeping it and her other male dog separated. But she had a large house and believed that she could keep the two…

My wife says I should keep busy

Posted on August 10, 2025 by Joke Poo

My wife says I should keep busy, I explained that i had just spent an hour taking down our dry herbs we had hanging and put the useful parts in jars while…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • A man walks into a bar and orders a whiskey. He takes it outside to enjoy on the bench.
  • Two old friends run into each other on the street.
  • The burley gates of heaven
  • Did you hear about the price of chimneys these days?!
  • The Captain’s Red Shirt
  • Little Johnny’s neighbor
  • Horse
  • Your momma’s so fat…
  • I saw a dwarf climbing down a rope from a prison rooftop.
  • A Jewish woman came to her rabi, visibly upset.
  • Teacher asks Billy a math question
  • I find people can be so judgemental these days….
  • The butcher shop
  • September is Alzheimer’s awareness month
  • I saw a bison in the gym doing a workout the other day….
  • A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt.
  • Mexican Mayonnaise
  • I hate charging my electric car.
  • One day I called home and my kid answered. I asked where’s mom?
  • An old man comes to confession and says to the priest:
  • A Knock Knock Joke
  • What’s common between a testicular joke and testicular cancer?
  • A guy walks in a store looking to buy some beer
  • One afternoon, a teenage couple was on a hike in the woods.
  • Wish me luck, everyone! I have to meet with some people working at my bank in a few minutes. If all goes well I’ll pay off every debt I have, and still have enough to retire early.
  • A penguin was driving through a small town when his car broke down…
  • Not all construction tasks are equally enjoyable.
  • In a carpenter’s workshop, one apprentice makes a bet that he can recognize any type of wood just by its smell. They blindfold him and hand him the first board… the apprentice smells it confidently and says: “Oak!”
  • I was admitted into the hospital and as I settled into my bed, I overheard my “roommate” using the speakerphone to order breakfast from the cafeteria
  • My mom went on vacation to Florida
  • School year is like pregnancy.
  • A man visits his lawyer
  • A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer.
  • Election results are like group project grades
  • A librarian is having a discussion with a cobra…
  • Job interview question: Why ask for a high salary with no experience?
  • The other day I needed to pay a visit to a public toilet
  • A man doesn’t come home from work Friday, instead he spends the whole weekend out fishing with his buddies.
  • A hunter walks into a pub and says that he is the greatest hunter, he can recognize any game animal by its fur, and if they show him the wound, he can even tell which weapon killed it in exchange for a drink.
  • Guy : Doctor, my Girlfriend is pregnant but we always use protection and the rubber never broke. How is it possible?
  • (An original joke best read aloud) My friend got a job as one of those sushi girls. Y’know, where guys eat sushi off her naked.
  • What did the ghost of the Redditor say when looking at it’s own corpse?
  • What’s yellow and really hurts if it gets in your eye?
  • What a nice couple, how long have you been married?
  • Three cougars
  • Why did the BYU student come inside?
  • Reminder: terrorist jokes are tasteless and unfunny
  • Would make a joke about fencing
  • Possums are from the south
  • Did you know they just ruled dad jokes to be unconstitutional?

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