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Category: Doctor

Just found out I’m colorblind.

Posted on June 12, 2025 by Joke Poo

Came right out the purple. Okay, here’s my attempt at a "Joke Poo" inspired by your colorblind joke: Joke Poo: Just Diagnosed Just found out I’m addicted to collecting vintage toilet paper….

After 20 years of marriage, she finally turned on the lights…

Posted on June 12, 2025 by Joke Poo

A couple had been married for 20 years. Every time they had sex, the husband insisted on turning off the lights. The wife found it silly, but she respected his wish. However,…

(Long) Two leprechauns knocked on the door of an Irish convent…

Posted on June 11, 2025 by Joke Poo

The door opens, and an astonished elderly nun looks out. "Pardon me, Sister," says one, "but would you happen to have a nun living here who's about this high"? He holds his…

Bangkok STD

Posted on June 10, 2025 by Joke Poo

A man goes to Bangkok on a business trip. While he's there, he decides to sample the carnal pleasures. When he gets back home he notices there's something wrong with his male…

I accidentally swallowed my watch yesterday.

Posted on June 10, 2025 by Joke Poo

The only thing I could do was sit there and pass the time. Joke Poo: I Accidentally Swallowed a Grammar Book I accidentally swallowed a grammar book yesterday. The only thing I…

A sexually active woman tells her plastic surgeon that she wanted her vaginal lips reduced in size because they were too loose and floppy.

Posted on June 9, 2025 by Joke Poo

Out of embarrassment she insisted that the surgery be kept a secret and the surgeon agreed. Awakening from the anesthesia after the surgery she found three roses carefully placed beside her on…

Man goes to the doctor for his test results

Posted on June 9, 2025 by Joke Poo

Doctor: “I’m sorry, sir. It doesn’t look good. I’m afraid you only have five longer to live.“ Man: “5 what? Months? Years? “ Doctor: “ 4… 3… 2… 1…” Joke Poo: The…

They missed an opportunity when they invented the mammogram machine

Posted on June 9, 2025 by Joke Poo

By not calling it a booby trap. Okay, I can do that. Here’s my attempt: Joke Poo: They Flushed It All Away They really dropped the ball when they invented the self-flushing…

I’m Old, Last Night…

Posted on June 8, 2025 by Joke Poo

I got up so many times last night that if you put a treadmill between my bedroom and the bathroom I'm pretty sure at some point I would be lying on the…

A politician is having a rally in a small town

Posted on June 8, 2025 by Joke Poo

A man walks up to the politician and tells him that their small town has two problems the first one is that they don’t have a doctor. So the politician whips out…

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • My girlfriend asked me to roleplay as a cheater, so I said okay.
  • A married couple were shopping in the supermarket
  • At my vasectomy consultation, the doctor said, “Now THIS is a big, beautiful penis!”
  • Why did the philosopher refuse to clean his room?
  • I saw an antelope the other day.
  • I used to be named after a famous South African Bishop.
  • So I went to the telescope shop..
  • Claustrophobia is the fear of closed spaces
  • A man leaves the wild animal vet clinic with a small bag.
  • I tried to teach my cat how to file taxes.
  • I have the heart of a lion, And the eye of a tiger
  • “I’d like to see your lunch menu”, I told the waiter
  • I accidentally spilled a bottle of glue all over my vacation itinerary.
  • So after 35 years of marriage, a husband and wife went to see a therapist.
  • The Madam opened the brothel door in New York
  • The teacher asked little Johnny if he knew his numbers.
  • I just found out my wife has a twin sister.
  • Jesus and the old man…
  • What do you call a paper airplane that doesn’t fly?
  • A Wife Asks a Question to Her Husband
  • I bought a pack of biscuits, on the side it said, “Eat me big boy.”
  • What is a wok?
  • Racism exists in the oceanographic community.
  • Why are you right handed?
  • How does Lightning McQueen masturbate?
  • I recently found out they don’t have the real Mona Lisa in the Louvre
  • I saw a woman wearing short shorts that had a NASCAR logo.
  • A redneck had just been served in a Las Vegas cocktail lounge
  • An engineer wakes up in hell and thinks to himself. I’ve been a good person. I shouldn’t be here.
  • Two teenage church-goers get married.
  • As I walked into work this morning my colleague said, “Dave, you look like shit.”
  • A guy picks up a woman at a bar. After a couple of drinks they go to his place…
  • My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic..
  • The boss was confused when one of his most reliable employees didn’t show up for work.
  • A man is doing 20 over the speed limit on the highway when a cop pulls him over.
  • Accent misjudged
  • The speeding biker
  • My boss told me to have a good day…
  • Came up with this one while sitting in traffic: What’s a whiskey drinkers favorite car?
  • What do you call a cow with no legs?
  • An older couple were lying in bed one night.
  • At dinner, little Timmy was asked by his father to lead the prayer.
  • A joke I made up in third grade: How does a skunk protect himself from danger?
  • Captain Kirk. Peter Pan. Lestat De Lioncourt. Miss Marple. Don Draper. The Three Little Pigs. Robin Hood. Daffy Duck. Optimus Prime. Bilbo Baggins. Count Dracula. Han Solo. Jack and Diane. Elmo. Pikachu. Jean Valjean. Snow White.
  • A joke for reddit
  • A husband and wife were celebrating their 50th anniversary.
  • I said to the doctor “That haemorrhoid cream you prescribed for me is causing some unpleasant reactions”.
  • A woman hits a chicken as it’s crossing the road.
  • A 50yo Woman Goes in for Cancer Surgery
  • “Son, I found a condom in your room.”

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