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Category: Doctor

My wife says I should keep busy

Posted on August 10, 2025 by Joke Poo

My wife says I should keep busy, I explained that i had just spent an hour taking down our dry herbs we had hanging and put the useful parts in jars while…

Patient: “I can’t sleep at night.”

Posted on August 10, 2025 by Joke Poo

Doctor: “Lie down and count to two thousand, you’ll fall asleep.” The next day, the patient came back to the doctor. The doctor asked if he followed the advice. Patient: “Yes, but…

A twitchy looking squirrel showed up at my house

Posted on August 10, 2025 by Joke Poo

I told it to go away, and that it looked a little nuts. And then the squirrel started shouting for nuts. I told him I didn't have any nuts, and the squirrel…

I was considered a Jock in highschool when it came to sports

Posted on August 10, 2025 by Joke Poo

Sorry Autocorrect, Joke* Okay, here’s my “Joke Poo” based on your original: Title: Typo Doo I was considered a Doctor when it came to typing essays in college. Sorry Autocorrect, Editor. Alright,…

The doctor says to the old lady:

Posted on August 10, 2025 by Joke Poo

“I can’t determine the cause with certainty, but it would be best if you reduced your alcohol consumption and we’ll see if it improves.” The old lady replies: “Can’t I just increase…

I just want to let you know I have a record breaking penis.

Posted on August 9, 2025 by Joke Poo

In other news, I'm not allowed in the music store anymore. Okay, here’s a “Joke Poo” version of that joke: Joke Poo: The Sculpture Garden I just want to let you know…

An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam.

Posted on August 9, 2025 by Joke Poo

The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow." The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and…

What did Mary Poppins tell the diabetic?

Posted on August 9, 2025 by Joke Poo

A spoonful of medicine makes the sugar go down. Okay, here’s my “Joke Poo” version of the Mary Poppins joke: Joke Poo: What did a constipated bear tell his doctor? A spoonful…

Scientists have have a male contraceptive pill that’s highly effective. In fact, only one thing is better at stopping you getting someone pregnant…

Posted on August 7, 2025 by Joke Poo

Saying you admire Andrew Tate. Okay, here’s my “Joke Poo” version of the Andrew Tate contraception joke, aiming for a similar structure and twist: Title: Joke Poo Scientists have developed a revolutionary…

Quick fix

Posted on August 6, 2025 by Joke Poo

A little person, a woman, goes to the doctor, clearly uncomfortable. “Doctor,” she says, “my… um… my lady parts are sore. They’re always bruised and sensitive. And when I walk, the pain…

Posts pagination

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Todays SH1T Jokes

  • What’s the difference between a guy at a gay bar, a Type 2 diabetic, and a job applicant at a construction site?
  • Patient goes to doctor for test results.
  • A farmer was selling apple seeds that were supposed to make you smarter.
  • A man walks into a bar and orders a whiskey. He takes it outside to enjoy on the bench.
  • Two old friends run into each other on the street.
  • The burley gates of heaven
  • Did you hear about the price of chimneys these days?!
  • The Captain’s Red Shirt
  • Little Johnny’s neighbor
  • Horse
  • Your momma’s so fat…
  • I saw a dwarf climbing down a rope from a prison rooftop.
  • A Jewish woman came to her rabi, visibly upset.
  • Teacher asks Billy a math question
  • I find people can be so judgemental these days….
  • The butcher shop
  • September is Alzheimer’s awareness month
  • I saw a bison in the gym doing a workout the other day….
  • A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt.
  • Mexican Mayonnaise
  • I hate charging my electric car.
  • One day I called home and my kid answered. I asked where’s mom?
  • An old man comes to confession and says to the priest:
  • A Knock Knock Joke
  • What’s common between a testicular joke and testicular cancer?
  • A guy walks in a store looking to buy some beer
  • One afternoon, a teenage couple was on a hike in the woods.
  • Wish me luck, everyone! I have to meet with some people working at my bank in a few minutes. If all goes well I’ll pay off every debt I have, and still have enough to retire early.
  • A penguin was driving through a small town when his car broke down…
  • Not all construction tasks are equally enjoyable.
  • In a carpenter’s workshop, one apprentice makes a bet that he can recognize any type of wood just by its smell. They blindfold him and hand him the first board… the apprentice smells it confidently and says: “Oak!”
  • I was admitted into the hospital and as I settled into my bed, I overheard my “roommate” using the speakerphone to order breakfast from the cafeteria
  • My mom went on vacation to Florida
  • School year is like pregnancy.
  • A man visits his lawyer
  • A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer.
  • Election results are like group project grades
  • A librarian is having a discussion with a cobra…
  • Job interview question: Why ask for a high salary with no experience?
  • The other day I needed to pay a visit to a public toilet
  • A man doesn’t come home from work Friday, instead he spends the whole weekend out fishing with his buddies.
  • A hunter walks into a pub and says that he is the greatest hunter, he can recognize any game animal by its fur, and if they show him the wound, he can even tell which weapon killed it in exchange for a drink.
  • Guy : Doctor, my Girlfriend is pregnant but we always use protection and the rubber never broke. How is it possible?
  • (An original joke best read aloud) My friend got a job as one of those sushi girls. Y’know, where guys eat sushi off her naked.
  • What did the ghost of the Redditor say when looking at it’s own corpse?
  • What’s yellow and really hurts if it gets in your eye?
  • What a nice couple, how long have you been married?
  • Three cougars
  • Why did the BYU student come inside?
  • Reminder: terrorist jokes are tasteless and unfunny

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